Help, my diagnosis ( obviously) didnt solve anything.

[Grandmother B]

It's been days that im moving in circles in my room doing nothing after my diagnosis was done.

It didnt help me much, it just says that many of my problems are related to something with a name.


But it didnt help me moving on, outside of the "WOW I HAVE AUTISM" moment ( the reveal that I had like 5 months ago now so the effect kinda worn off)

Generally speaking I have still no real clue on how to regulate myself in a healthier way
(If you have like a website or something like with 20 steps i dont know, I feel like asd isnt the only prb and when ever I search for something I end up dumping so many informations at the same time I just dont use them , I search for everything at the same time.)


And I have that growing feeling that ASD adhd and even depression might not just be the only prb.


I dont know , its like, I have no motivation to do anything in my life, I try to think rationnaly about what I should do but this isnt realy coming from inside...I dont know who I am realy or what I want..

And when ever I try to move on in life, be like productive, its because I let another part of me take over, I have to be honest at this point it feels like this person is someone else, like, a dark version of me, that is only motivated by anger and revenge...

There always a part of me that think suicide as a rationnal outcome also. I don't know how its possible but sometime I think about it because I suddenly get very low but sometimes its just an idea that feels like normal and rationnal.

Please seek help from a qualified therapist that deals with autism/Asperger's. Also you might find some hope and motivation at www.aspergerexperts.com. They have free videos as well as some paid programs that I believe can help you to at least see that you are not alone in feeling this way. Prayers!

 

[Crossbreed]

Map out autism, generally.

Map out your brand, specifically.

Once you have a real sense of your particular strengths and weaknesses, you can adjust your lifestyle, behaviors & expectations accordingly. (When your expectations are realistic, it diminishes frustration.)

You can still reach some of your goals, but you may have to go about it in a different way.

Don't underestimate the discovery that is your diagnosis.

 

[Bella Pines]

And about the dark and light stuff...I don't realy know how to deal with it, I tried to pushed it as much as I could especially because some people told me I was a psycho during hightschool and also I had very disturbing nightmares, well one in particular.

What was your nightmare? Many of us have either been accused of being psychopaths or question ourselves. This is a part of aspergers that doesn't appear in the medical journals and few aspies feel comfortable talking about.

But it's not some shameful secret, it's far more mundane. This stems from the fact that we are less connected with life. There are 2 aspects to this;

1. It's like we are observers, we tend to view situations objectively. Even my own life, I sometimes feel like I am just watching. This is what gives us the ability to logically assess situations. Even our own highs and lows, we often recognize when we have symptoms of depression and can self analyse. A lot. We self analyse a lot.
2. We also see rules objectively. We question more than neurotypicals, who seem to get pleasure from blindly following rules and conventions. I often ask why, why do I have to spray perfume or deodorant on? For goodness sake it contains propane and butane, I am making my armpits flammable so that I smell like a flower and attract bees? Really? But yet it is "socially acceptable".

This objectivity, this being "apart" from the crowd also allows us great choice. Choice to be who we want, choice to do what we want. There is no convention or conscience holding us back. We can choose to help or hurt people and feel nothing. This isn't bad, in fact I like it, I would much rather be a wolf than a sheep.

But to quote spiderman, with great power comes great responsibility. I don't want to hurt people because I don't like being hurt. I don't like the kind of world that it creates. I don't like being bullied, or picked on. That drives my decisions and how I choose to behave. So it is up to each of us to define our own boundaries, our own moral code and stick to it. I know perfectly well that I am capable of dispassionate cruelty. But I choose not to exercise that ability. I urge you too, to develop your own moral framework. Every good deed ripples out and slowly the sun rises.

 

[Iamnotarabot]

Please seek help from a qualified therapist that deals with autism/Asperger's. Also you might find some hope and motivation at www.aspergerexperts.com. They have free videos as well as some paid programs that I believe can help you to at least see that you are not alone in feeling this way. Prayers!

The psychologist and psychiatrist I see are both specialized in ASD, The problem is that they are both overbooked so I guess they prioritiz people showing real troubles.

What was your nightmare? Many of us have either been accused of being psychopaths or question ourselves. This is a part of aspergers that doesn't appear in the medical journals and few aspies feel comfortable talking about.

I quote only that part because I will respond to that, but before I have to say that I agree with everything you said and relate to it.

Don't do to others what you don't want them to do to you is what I always keep in mind.


Anyway, about that nightmare, well it was years ago, maybe its because of violent video games I guess.

But basically it was a dream with a room full of corpse lying on the ground face down , it was only femeale corpses and the only wounds that I saw was located on their legs. And I had a knife. And the real prb is that it actually didnt felt like a nightmare and when I woke up I felt so disgusted about myself.

My dreams are realy short most of the time, but the image that comes with it when its a strong one , they are in my brain just like real world memories.

But before that I have other dreams, I mean since I am a kid a always had nightmares, they were not against others but most of the time I was the victim.

When I was a young kid I had reccurent nightmares involving miss piggy chasing me ( I swear even now when I look at miss piggy I feel REALY uncomfortable.) One in particular I was in my bed paralyzed and she would come I cry for help but my voice don't come out and I get smashed by her hammer.

I got rid off this nightmare by basically acknowledging it was a nightmare and giving up on getting hit by her.

Another nightmares was my mother calling from her room but when I come at the door I see nothing but dogs jumping at me and pusing me on the ground.
It was also one of my reccurent dream, I got it aways one night because I started to fight them back.

Got chased by dogs a lot also. One time I got tortured in my dream.


To conclude with nightmares I had one nightmare when I was in bed and when I switch the light on its still dark and a dog bite me , it dog with glowing eyes.
And I was so amazed when I saw that the main character of my favorite manga ( berserk, the character is my profile picture) Had a dark wolf with glowing eye as inner demon it was like so weird.

Anyway, I also had other fun stuff like dreaming of suicide or feeling like a corpse is getting thrown at me when I wake up ( it sounds like sleep paralysis related)

On the scale of 10 how psycho am I kek?

 

[Bella Pines]

You see that's what I love about aspies. I draw logical conclusions from facts and say what I see. In the real world, people find that annoying and incomprehensible! Even my husband rolls his eyes and often says "you know how I feel when you try to use logic on me...". But stating the obvious to aspies is met with agreement and new and interesting slants and theories. There is the first of many things to like about yourself.

"To see a corpse in your dream represents an aspect of yourself that has died. Or it may mean that you are unexpressive. You have shut yourself down and are dead inside."

They say that images in dreams are our subconscious talking to us. I do hope that's not true because that would mean my subconscious is just plain weird. But every now and again, my more vivid and recurring dreams have helped me understand myself. I had the running dream, loads, for like a decade. At one point I tried to fight whatever was chasing me but there was nothing there. In real life, it turned out to be my avoidance problem. I hated facing up to problems, I would always run away if I could. But as I learned to communicate to people and face problems head on, the dream started to fade.

So anyway, I hope you've now got some steps that you can use for structure until you develop your own steps. And keep posting problems and questions, we are many

 

[Nervous Rex]

It's been days that I'm moving in circles in my room doing nothing after my diagnosis was done.

It didn't help me much, it just says that many of my problems are related to something with a name.

First, it'll take some time to absorb the news and get used to it. Allow yourself that time, and don't expect to be making big changes all at once.

A diagnosis is just a diagnosis, not a treatment. For me, it helped me to know that I shouldn't expect to be able to function like everyone else. It's like I've been trying to fix myself with a minivan manual only to find out I'm a motorcycle. A motorcycle isn't better or worse than a minivan - just different. I'm not better or worse than NT's - I just have a different collection of talents and trials. But knowing that I am different opens me up to:
A) Letting go of trying to function like everyone else and feeling like a failure when I can't.
B) Exploring, experimenting, and finding out what does work for me.

Don't try to make everything better all at once. Choose one thing to try, one small change, and see how it works. Get it down pat, then chooose the next thing.

Keep coming to this forum (or other forums) for advice, input, suggestions, to see what works for others, or just to vent and express yourself. We're here for you.