Getting upset over someone being wrong...

[Adonisus]

Does anyone else here have this problem? When someone you meet has an incorrect idea or belief that is unscientific/ahistorical/etc. I've come across this both online and in real life, and it almost completely ruins my day, like the entire universe is off balance because this one individual believes that there were Irish Slaves in America (just one recent example).

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Hmm, I can. Less so than I used to. I've learnt that if you don't come across in a calm, mature manner than they will throw whatever you say back in your face. There's a good chance that'll happen anyway but you're giving them a chance to think about things logically rather than get emotional.

 

[xudo]

Yes, very much so. I don't tend to come across it in RL so much, because I don't really go out. Online, a hell of a lot more. These days if I do come across it offline, then it's usually with someone I know, and I can (at least try to) educate them.

 

[janie]

Hmm, I can. Less so than I used to. I've learnt that if you don't come across in a calm, mature manner than they will throw whatever you say back in your face. There's a good chance that'll happen anyway but you're giving them a chance to think about things logically rather than get emotional.

100%, Southern Discomfort.

Nothing seared this into my brain with more permanence than interfacing with my daughter's medical team. Her heart failed at 5 weeks. Blessedly, a quality national teaching hospital was near by. Perfect storm formula: un-diagnosed, young, postnatal, new mommy, acutely, critically ill infant, teaching hospital...

Teaching hospitals hierarchal culture seep into every communication. I learned quickly that the only way to get meaningful information to understand and participate in my daughter's care was to speak to them in a moderate, calm volume, ask for help or different way to explain, and appear calm, groomed and receptive.

I know this sounds very simple, but I did not know how to even approximate that type of demeanor in crisis before in my life.

 

[Keigan]

So many people want so badly to connect, that they are willing to show the world how little they actually do know just to make a splash. I try to not point this out to people as I figure they are not worth the risk or aggravation, so I silently laugh at how weak they represent themselves. I'd prefer to offer value that has some accuracy.

 

[Judge]

Does anyone else here have this problem? When someone you meet has an incorrect idea or belief that is unscientific/ahistorical/etc. I've come across this both online and in real life, and it almost completely ruins my day, like the entire universe is off balance because this one individual believes that there were Irish Slaves in America (just one recent example).

Not as much as in the past. I'm slowly learning to let go of such things in as much as I can.

Though I suspect we can both agree that indentured servitude and slavery are two distinctly different institutions.

 

[Bolletje]

Sure do, but I've taught myself to disengage from such conversations as I'll get incredibly worked up. Although people tend to get upset over me disengaging as well, because I usually do so by saying I refuse to continue the conversation.

 

[MrSpock]

This was pointed out to me today. Not that I get so very upset, I don't raise my voice or physically feel emotion regarding it, but I do feel that I have a duty to the truth, that I'm doing this person a disservice if I don't try to correct them. Apparently people don't care if they believe BS. And this makes me socially awkward.

This came from a nurse who soon after this talked about how she can't walk past an injured person, I said that I felt the same sort of obligation to someone who is injuring their perception of the world by believing something untrue. I'm not sure how she took that.

I've been becoming more aware of this in recent years, and I'm less likely to try to inform someone these days. It doesn't bother me too much, unless the person is taking actions that hurt people (in whatever way) based on misinformation. That bothers me a lot, and although I still don't usually raise my voice it can be obvious that I have feelings regarding it. I can accept hurt as the result of a poor reason more easily than hurt as the result of a misunderstanding when I feel I may be in a position to correct the misunderstanding. Sometimes this causes more misunderstanding... ugh.

 

[ksheehan88]

Yep. Irrationally so. Not because I'm angry at the person not knowing something correctly, more because they won't bloody listen to reason.

 

[janie]

Keigan, this is so well expressed, "I'd prefer to offer value that has some accuracy."

To deliver value is among my top goals.

I am horribly inconsistent, totally vulnerable to impulsively employing responses that detonate blast and deliver rubble, but the intention to deliver value remains N on my compass, and points to better outcomes.

Thank you.