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flirting in a friendship

Historianthomas

Historianthomas

Well-Known Member
Just curious: If and how often do you flirt with your friends.

In a dark parking lot, my best friend of three years decided to rub muscle pain crew on her shoulder. She slipped off one strap of her dress to expose her sports bra. Then as she was rubbing the cream, she would slip off then put back on her sports bra strap. All in front of me.
 
Well since the very few friends I have, are my own sex and I am not a lesbian lol, no flirting! And the few chaps that I know, I do not flirt with either ( but they are not true friends ie just people I know and like).

She is either keen on you and hoping for a reaction. Or she feels so comfortable with you, she did it completely unconsciously ie without thinking - she views you as a brother and thus, did not think much about it.

You can either speak to her about it, which could cause a bad vibes and thus, ruin a friendship, or you could just ignore it. It all depends on how it made you feel, really and I get the impression, it did make you feel something?
 
I don't know if she was unconscious of it. She was facing me and talking to me the entire time. What got me is that she is normally modest. I also know she calls me bro sometimes and we both say "love you" before we part. I never had such a close friendship like this so far.
 
Depends on which friends for me. With my musician friends, we constantly flirt with each other and, with anyone and everyone around us. it's part of what we are trained to do and, when we are together, it's almost instinct to slip into performance mode.

Privately, I rarely flirt but, I'm not very modest either. I keep the "sex bits" covered mostly but, if I need to do something that will reveal any part of my body, or my under garments, so be it - unless children are where they might see me. We are all human and, if you haven't see a naked body by the time you're 16 or so, it's probably time you did. If you have seen one, then what's the big deal? We all have bodies and, I don't think a body, no matter what it looks like, is anything to be ashamed of or, embarrassed about having.
 
If you have been just friends for three years I would assume that she just feels comfortable/trusting around you. But if more things happen and you sense some consistant change in her attitude towards you and you are unsure what it means, politely ask her about it.
 
Beverly said:
Depends on which friends for me. With my musician friends, we constantly flirt with each other and, with anyone and everyone around us. it's part of what we are trained to do and, when we are together, it's almost instinct to slip into performance mode.

Privately, I rarely flirt but, I'm not very modest either. I keep the "sex bits" covered mostly but, if I need to do something that will reveal any part of my body, or my under garments, so be it - unless children are where they might see me. We are all human and, if you haven't see a naked body by the time you're 16 or so, it's probably time you did. If you have seen one, then what's the big deal? We all have bodies and, I don't think a body, no matter what it looks like, is anything to be ashamed of or, embarrassed about having.
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I get you and think that you are blessed to have this attitude, for yes, indeed, we are human and we all have bodies etc, but we also live in a world of rape and murder and abuse in other forms and I am pretty sure that if you "showed" yourself to another and they reacted, you would soon put them in their place and yet, they are being human too!

I come from a background of sexual abuse ie pedophile father and so, I have a mixture of embarrassment and out right embarrassing once I get going! Some become asexual and others become promiscuous and the latter is me if I had the chance and thus, thanks to my faith, I am kept under control lol plus I hate my body and that has always kept me from sleeping around!
 
I used to have problems with this because I had no concept of what is appropriate interactions with various people. I've cut the people out of my life who I used to have trouble with and it's been a good change overall.
 
Consciously I'd never flirt with a friend unless I really intended to pursue things beyond friendship. That's just how I think. But it hasn't stopped female friends from flirting with me in the distant past.

Unconsciously though, I suspect I may have (and probably did) send out messages to contrary at one time or another. I have to chuckle at the possibility, pointing out that as an Aspie I may well have done so without even being aware of it.
 
Judge I'm told that I'm a natural flirt. I don't do it intentionally but apparently I give of that vibe more often than not. I don't count that as flirting, that's just me being me.
 
My friend is funny. She apologizes to me when tied her shirt up showing her belly button because it was really hot. I told her I didn't mind. Yet when she does this, not a single smiling apology. ;)
 
Beverly said:
Judge I'm told that I'm a natural flirt. I don't do it intentionally but apparently I give of that vibe more often than not. I don't count that as flirting, that's just me being me.
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Good point. Y'all certainly exist. I've just been baffled on occasion how my friends ended up profoundly hitting on me.

(But then "flirting" isn't when they knock on your door in the middle of the night and undress and hop into your bed.) Go figure! That actually happened to me once. I guess my "friend" simply decided to take things to the next level. :cool:

On occasion, I'm inclined to think that some extremely attractive women find it very sexy when a guy DOESN'T hit on them.
 
Judge said:
Good point. Y'all certainly exist. I've just been baffled on occasion how my friends ended up profoundly hitting on me.

(But then "flirting" isn't when they knock on your door in the middle of the night and undress and hop into your bed.) Go figure! That actually happened to me once. I guess my "friend" simply decided to take things to the next level. :cool:

On occasion, I'm inclined to think that some extremely attractive women find it very sexy when a guy DOESN'T hit on them.
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Or such a person could be drunk
best of craigslist: You slept naked in my bed. Unfortunately, you were in the wrong apt. - m4w
 
Ste11aeres said:
Or such a person could be drunk
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Was that intended as sarcasm?

All I can say is, not in this case. I can't vouch for women in general. Only her at a time and place. But at that point the friendship became something else. However like other relationships I had with Neurotypicals, it just didn't work out.
 
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Judge said:
Was that intended as sarcasm?

All I can say is, not in this case. I can't vouch for women in general. Only her at a time and place. But at that point the friendship became something else. However like other relationships I had with Neurotypicals, it just didn't work out.
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I didn't intend it that way. And I understood what was going on in the story you had. It was just that I'd happened to come across that really weird and funny thing on the internet, and because it was so funny I wanted to share it, and I, perhaps tastelessly, jumped at what seemed like an opportunity.
 
Update: Several days after that, she wrote on facebook that she thanks "bff tomcat" (tomcat is a nickname she gave me) for borrowing my laptop. Yeah, I guess it was more wishful thinking on my part than what was her intent. Despite that, I still enjoyed that brief moment and various other flirty interactions we had and continue to have. :p. Yeah, I flirt with her too ;)
 
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LOL Historianthomas Flirting can be fun. I've got one playfully flirting with me now, he isn't serious entirely. Yeah he will probably come stay with me for a couple of weeks as a friend - he does need a temporary US base camp but, he jokingly tells me that I can be his cougar. I tell him I might be a minx instead. (He's 22, I'm 49)

Not that he wouldn't accept if i offered my, er... um... services but, he knows I won't. His mom and I are good friends too and, I've known him since he was 14 so, that would be kind of like my own kid and, that isn't happening. Still fun to play at flirting though. LOL
 
Ste11aeres said:
I didn't intend it that way. And I understood what was going on in the story you had. It was just that I'd happened to come across that really weird and funny thing on the internet, and because it was so funny I wanted to share it, and I, perhaps tastelessly, jumped at what seemed like an opportunity.
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No worries. I was just curious as to your point of view. It's not something that ever happened to me before or since! But for the record, she was always a very impulsive person on so many levels.

I do sometimes wonder though, how many women might have been flirting with me and I didn't have a clue at the time. :eek:
But in those circumstances she left nothing to the imagination. :p
 
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