Five Love Languages Quiz

[Cali Cat]

I took this quiz, and it got me to wondering how much being on the spectrum affects the way we express and recognize "love" in our daily lives. Typically, one expresses love in the same way one expects others to express it, and this can lead to misunderstandings if two people don't speak the same love language.

If you have the desire, please take the quiz and post your results. I'm curious to know if there is a pattern. I don't want to skew potential data, so I will wait before disclosing my results.

http://www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/story.php?title=whats-your-love-langugae

 

[tree]

About the instrument:
There was a typo on #25.
I'd have been happier if the quiz didn't pace me.
I'd rather not have to wait for the quiz to go to the next question.
3/4s of the choices were pretty obvious.
It wasn't a bad instrument, though.

You got: Acts of Service


Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

 

[Judge]

In all honesty this quiz made me quite uncomfortable. One too many questions where neither option really seemed to apply.

Made me feel like I was in a dodge ball game where I was being thrown either being gifted or physically touched. Subjects for me that require further elaboration in their individual context on rather than on a broad and conditional basis.

I can say on a practical and real level that romance has never come as easily as affection and sex have. It's too complicated for me to explain within the confines of such a structured test.

 

[Vinca]

There were quite a lot of questions where neither statement was true for me, in these cases I answerd 'B', as I like the letter 'B' better than the letter 'A', so I'm not sure how accurate the answer will be.

You got: Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

 

[Cali Cat]

In all honesty this quiz made me quite uncomfortable. One too many questions where neither option really seemed to apply.

Made me feel like I was in a dodge ball game where I was offered either being gifted or physically touched. Subjects for me that require further elaboration in their individual context on rather than on a broad and conditional basis.

I can say on a practical and real level that romance has never come as easily as affection and sex have. It's too complicated for me to explain within the confines of such a structured test.

I had some trouble with that myself, but decided to answer the questions in such a way as to choose the lesser of two evils as it were.

 

[Cali Cat]

There were quite a lot of questions where neither statement was true for me, in these cases I answerd 'B', as I like the letter 'B' better than the letter 'A', so I'm not sure how accurate the answer will be.

In those cases, I just chose the answer that seemed either "more" applicable to me, or the least offensive.

 

[Judge]

I had some trouble with that myself, but decided to answer the questions in such a way as to choose the lesser of two evils as it were.

Understood.

I feel a little self-conscious in not completing it...but I have one rule in life I've had since my teens. I never allow myself to be put on the spot if I can help it. How I relate to an affectionate touch or receiving a gift...it really depends on the circumstances and the person in question. I guess I'm complicated.

But my failure to retain relationships long-term speaks volumes....with or without test results. Though up until I began to interact in this forum, I realized that in my entire life I never expressed just how awkward I often feel over receiving gifts in general.

 

[Cali Cat]

Interesting ... I see a pattern already, but too soon to tell for sure. It may also have something to do with the type of personality that is willing to participate in such a test.

 

[Cali Cat]

Understood.

I feel a little self-conscious in not completing it...but I have one rule in life I've had since my teens. I never allow myself to be put on the spot if I can help it. How I relate to an affectionate touch or receiving a gift...it really depends on the circumstances and the person in question. I guess I'm complicated.

Aren't we all.

Not a problem, Judge. I'm just curious and gathering data to either prove or disprove my hypothesis.

 

[Judge]

Aren't we all.

Not a problem, Judge. I'm just curious and gathering data to either prove or disprove my hypothesis.

Well, I think there were certain "social graces" involved which are likely consistent or not with people on the spectrum. That things like constant touch or receiving gifts don't hold validation compared to acts of service. Am I in the ballpark?

That those on the spectrum seek deeper forms of validating their relationships with others than superficial gestures.

 

[Lena_C]

Hmm, can I have them all?
Touch or not to touch really depends on my state.

You got: Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

 

[Judge]

It's a very frustrating thing to know we're very deep thinkers emotionally speaking. However because we don't outwardly acknowledge things through superficial gestures, our intent or sentiment is easily misunderstood.

We speak a different language in terms of communication. But also a different language in terms of love.

 

[Cali Cat]

Well, I think there were certain "social graces" involved which are likely consistent or not with people on the spectrum. That things like constant touch or receiving gifts don't hold validation compared to acts of service. Am I in the ballpark?

That those on the spectrum seek deeper forms of validating their relationships with others than superficial gestures.

Pretty much, yeah.

I got Acts of Service as well, as did a few people IRL who I suspect are on the spectrum too.

Also, Quality Time seems to be a close second.

For myself, I know touching too much can be downright annoying, and gifts are nice, but they don't come close to substituting for time and attention or practical help. It's a little bit funny, but giving gifts, to me, is almost like a "payoff" to get out of doing something more substantial. If I really like someone, I'd rather have them over for lunch than buy a gift.

 

[Judge]

Pretty much, yeah.

I got Acts of Service as well, as did a few people IRL who I suspect are on the spectrum too.

Also, Quality Time seems to be a close second.

For myself, I know touching too much can be downright annoying, and gifts are nice, but they don't come close to substituting for time and attention or practical help. It's a little bit funny, but giving gifts, to me, is almost like a "payoff" to get out of doing something more substantial. If I really like someone, I'd rather have them over for lunch than buy a gift.

I hate to admit it...even here. Feel awkward telling others that touching me can at times be VERY awkward...for both those who touch me as well as myself. I can't especially explain it in any detail, but rather only that it's how I may feel at any given time. I freely admit I can run hot and cold and it can be daunting for NTs to understand it.

Gifts...so awkward. Perhaps because more often than not, someone gives me something I do not want or need. The gesture is appreciated, but not the gift itself. Awkward.

Quality time and acts of service....that I can relate to.

 

[Cali Cat]

It's a very frustrating thing to know we're very deep thinkers emotionally speaking. However because we don't outwardly acknowledge things through superficial gestures, our intent or sentiment is easily misunderstood.

We speak a different language in terms of communication. But also a different language in terms of love.

I believe that is maybe the most profound aspect of HFA. I've rarely met an Aspie who did not think deeply about everything. I suppose there may be some shallow Aspies, but I haven't personally encountered any so far.

It is a pity that for all our inner consideration, we lack the "appropriate" means of expression to be fully understood.

 

[Judge]

I believe that is maybe the most profound aspect of HFA. I've rarely met an Aspie who did not think deeply about everything. I suppose there may be some shallow Aspies, but I haven't personally encountered any so far.

It is a pity that for all our inner consideration, we lack the "appropriate" means of expression to be fully understood.

Oh my. Ain't that the truth. I think it's one of those traits that allows me to put off NTs rather easily. They want to discuss something by the inch....and I'm going on an on by the mile about it. And in attempting to "cull" the conversation...it makes me feel phony and out of place. Lose-lose in another day of autism.

 

[Cali Cat]

... it's how I may feel at any given time. I freely admit I can run hot and cold and it can be daunting for NTs to understand it.

I understand that. I run hot and cold too, though I admit more cold the older I get. Nowadays, I need to be prepared for touching. I literally jump if someone touches me by surprise. That used to cause my ex to feel I wasn't as attracted to him anymore.

It sure is complicated

 

[Judge]

I literally jump if someone touches me by surprise.

Me too. My mother would do that all the time. Just wish I got paid each time she said, "I just don't understand you".

 

[Lena_C]

well, sometimes a random gift without any reason, saying "just thinking of you" is romantic.
But who on earth will appreciate this every day??? Ah, maybe NT will.

 

[Judge]

well, sometimes a random gift without any reason, saying "just thinking of you" is romantic.
But who on earth will appreciate this every day??? Ah, maybe NT will.

Strange...I just thought of a scene in a movie ("Contact"). Where Matthew McConaughey gives Jodie Foster a toy compass from a box of Crackerjax. Yet it becomes a token of great meaning to her.