Feel drained after family functions(slight rant)

[Ravkrat]

This is something I've noticed lately, every time there is a family function(typically three families: main,brother's,brother's) and when the event is going on and people are talking I try to join in and people don't hear/don't respond. Don't get me wrong, I don't care for attention but if I come up with a joke I prefer to share 'em.
Like this thanksgiving after the meal we went and got the Christmas items down from the attic(small attic w/ flimsy ladder)so seeing has I'm a big guy and really dislike using ladders. So everyone is getting items down.. and its like people would just pass me over/ stop me from grabbing the items(totes) so when I got feed-up with not being able to help I just said 'ok I'm done' and one of the family responded '-laughs- well you helped alot' the same blasted woman that was in my way! Grr >.<

(I worked at Walmart for a year has a receivings associate my main task was handling freight at a steady rate and in large quantities.)

The ignoring could be because I have a soft+deep voice I can get that, but when I have to repeat things four times just to get people to hear me.. I don't know -.-.

 

[garnetflower13]

Ugh, that happens to me a lot. Well, used to because I don't go to large gatherings like that anymore. I come from a big family and it always seemed that I had to shout to make myself heard. That incident you described; well, similar things have happened to me a many times, where I felt out of sync with everyone else as if they were doing some obscure dance that I hadn't learned the steps to. Definitely understand that!

 

[artfull dodger]

I am drained after pretty much any social gathering. Be it with my family or the inlaws. Same when I go to model train shows to feed my primary obsession with model trains. Once I get home, I need time alone to process. Those days I am usualy in bed at a much earlier hour than normal as well. Now that I have my weighted blanket, I am usually fully recovered by the next morning. Mike

 

[Beverly]

I don't repeat myself. People close to me know that and, know I will go off on them if I have to repeat something for them. If I tell you in June that I need you to do something in November, come November, I expect you to do it without being told again.

If I say "I got it." I have it and you need to step back and let me take it - I will not tell you again, I will physically remove you from the task at hand.

If you can't hear me the first time then, you don't think I'm important enough to listen to and, if that cost you a friend or, your job or, future invitations to my home well, that's your fault.

 

[Goatscoat]

I am so drained from any sort of social event really... It's not just being with my family for random family lunches and so on, plus all the birthdays. Being around a group of people or staying outside of my room for too long causes me a great deal of anxiety and I end up feeling very meltdown-ish. I struggle an immense amount with family functions & any kind of big gathering of people that I'm expected to be on friendly terms with. I've had such bad experiences that I rarely muster the strength to even decide to participate in any.

 

[Butterfly88]

I feel drained after family functions sometimes too. My strategy is to hang with the little ones, they don't drain me as much. The 6 month old is my favorite, it's helpful that she doesn't talk and just listens.

 

[SleepingSun]

I'm completely drained from family functions as well, especially if I have to hear a lot of little kids running around and screaming everywhere you turn. I'm at the point where if I don't absolutely have to go to said functions, I don't go.

 

[Butterfly88]

I hate when the kids scream too, another reason I stick with the 6 month old, she's a happy baby.

 

[Gordy]

I have a diary written up for the holidays which involves so many days of social functions I will need another holiday to recover from it. We do a lot of fairly formal dinners or going out and it just wears me down. It's the having to be sociable bit, and knowing that no matter how sociable I try to be it won't be sociable enough, or I will go too far and be accused of butting into conversations.

 

[ancusmitis]

I get tired just knowing that there are more people in the house than usual.

Interacting with them a little bit actually makes that better, though. But only a little; usually I want to go straight back to my room after a few minutes.

 

[Xenocity]

All social gatherings to this to me be it holidays, dinners and the rest.

It's due to us aspies using the cognitive part of our brains for social activities.
The cognitive part is what people use to learn and do their jobs, causing those activities to exhaust them.

 

[SleepingSun]

I hate family gatherings as well, unless I absolutely have to go to one, such as for a funeral. I always need to be alone after being around a lot of people.

 

[paloftoon]

I like to look for other loners or small groups at gatherings. At least as an adult, if I can't find something to pre-occupy myself or if I can't make good conversation, I can leave whenever I want! lol. It's always good to try once in awhile! Don't hold yourself back if you don't have to, and drive yourself if you can.

 

[tfwo]

I can not tell you how many times I've been in a similar situation, in which I knew I was speaking plenty load enough, and repeated myself several times, and yet it was as if no one ever heard me. Makes me feel kind of surreal, and wonder if I actually exist.

 

[SingaSong]

I can not tell you how many times I've been in a similar situation, in which I knew I was speaking plenty load enough, and repeated myself several times, and yet it was as if no one ever heard me. Makes me feel kind of surreal, and wonder if I actually exist.

I've had that feeling of not being connected to a conversation, as if no one has heard me.
I've just been diagnosed (2 weeks ago) age 39 and my mother has been looking out at ways that I socialise. She told me that when I'm in a group (for example there are four people) and i want to say something i just say my point into the air. I don't use anyone's name. She said that the people around don't necessarily know I've joined the conversation, am talking to them or am just day dreaming or muttering to myself. She suggested I use the persons name for example "Anne I agree about that but I think...." or "That's interesting David I like watching football as well and I saw ...." I've tried with very mixed success, but at least a bit better then before. I'm going to look out for more social skills information.