Expectations:
that I'm supposed to act normal (I try but it just doesn't happen most the time)
that I'm supposed to commit to something and meet obligations made up by society (I hate having to be anywhere on a certain day at a certain time - aside from not being sports inclined, that's the main reason I would never join a tournament or sports team of any kind).
that I'm supposed to participate (I don't want to take a turn, have to say something or introduce myself, or anything that is going to bring attention to me)
that I'm supposed to fit a particular mold (currently a grandma mold)
that I'm supposed to contribute according to someone else's ideas instead of my own (I'm better at writing but told I have to physically visit or call)
that I'm supposed to agree above just accepting (I accept everyone has a right to their opinions and their own actions, but that's not good enough today. I'm supposed to condone and agree with everything whether I do or not).
that I'm supposed to dress appropriately (nope, I wear what I want and it might be a white skirt to the races or jeans on the beach.)
that I'm supposed to maintain my home a certain way (supposed to make my bed daily, keep dishes washed. well - my bed is always made, but that's because I always sleep on the couch. )
that I'm supposed to change the oil in my car (just threw that one in for humor. lol)
that I'm supposed to take an interest in whatever the current popular thing is (I don't like America's got talent or whatever it is and I don't want to watch Walking Dead or read 50 shades of gray just so we can talk about it. And WHY do people still insist on talking to me about it when I tell them I'm not interested??)
that I'm supposed to help others in this way instead of my own way (I may keep cash handy in my car to hand to someone holding a sign on a corner or buy something and tell the cashier to give it to the little girl in line behind me. No one is going to see the things I do so they will want me to do the things that lets everyone know I'm doing something - like serve on a committee or teach a class.)
that I'm supposed to want to babysit or visit multiple times a week (why do I feel guilty that I don't go visit my grandkids and kids on a weekly basis like all the other grandparents brag about doing)
I have had discussions with family members and literally ask them what they want from me and never get an answer but they get mad because I'm not doing what they want.
My brother and his wife used to meet me outside the door because they wouldn't want me and my kids to come in the house. My sister in law has pretended not to know me in a public place. But they expect me to come visit them now or do favors for them (which I have done because that's who I am, but still.)
And why is it wasting my time to play a few games on the computer or work a jigsaw puzzle, yet it's acceptable to spend that time watching a movie or reading a book?
I stress daily because I know I am not meeting expectations. I've never been able to live up to anyone's expectations.
that I'm supposed to act normal (I try but it just doesn't happen most the time)
that I'm supposed to commit to something and meet obligations made up by society (I hate having to be anywhere on a certain day at a certain time - aside from not being sports inclined, that's the main reason I would never join a tournament or sports team of any kind).
that I'm supposed to participate (I don't want to take a turn, have to say something or introduce myself, or anything that is going to bring attention to me)
that I'm supposed to fit a particular mold (currently a grandma mold)
that I'm supposed to contribute according to someone else's ideas instead of my own (I'm better at writing but told I have to physically visit or call)
that I'm supposed to agree above just accepting (I accept everyone has a right to their opinions and their own actions, but that's not good enough today. I'm supposed to condone and agree with everything whether I do or not).
that I'm supposed to dress appropriately (nope, I wear what I want and it might be a white skirt to the races or jeans on the beach.)
that I'm supposed to maintain my home a certain way (supposed to make my bed daily, keep dishes washed. well - my bed is always made, but that's because I always sleep on the couch. )
that I'm supposed to change the oil in my car (just threw that one in for humor. lol)
that I'm supposed to take an interest in whatever the current popular thing is (I don't like America's got talent or whatever it is and I don't want to watch Walking Dead or read 50 shades of gray just so we can talk about it. And WHY do people still insist on talking to me about it when I tell them I'm not interested??)
that I'm supposed to help others in this way instead of my own way (I may keep cash handy in my car to hand to someone holding a sign on a corner or buy something and tell the cashier to give it to the little girl in line behind me. No one is going to see the things I do so they will want me to do the things that lets everyone know I'm doing something - like serve on a committee or teach a class.)
that I'm supposed to want to babysit or visit multiple times a week (why do I feel guilty that I don't go visit my grandkids and kids on a weekly basis like all the other grandparents brag about doing)
I have had discussions with family members and literally ask them what they want from me and never get an answer but they get mad because I'm not doing what they want.
My brother and his wife used to meet me outside the door because they wouldn't want me and my kids to come in the house. My sister in law has pretended not to know me in a public place. But they expect me to come visit them now or do favors for them (which I have done because that's who I am, but still.)
And why is it wasting my time to play a few games on the computer or work a jigsaw puzzle, yet it's acceptable to spend that time watching a movie or reading a book?
I stress daily because I know I am not meeting expectations. I've never been able to live up to anyone's expectations.