Do you have issues/dislike talking on the phone?

[Microwench]

I hate to talk on the phone, pretty much always have.

I have 3 exceptions: my momma, my best friend, and my husband.

The only thing I can figure out that makes me hate it so much is that it is hard for me to gague moods by tone of voice, I don't have the body language or facial expression to help me.
I also have a really hard time knowing when it is my turn to speak.

Anyone else?

 

[whale_bone]

Yup same with me.

I guess I just find it really distressing because I have to put so much effort into listening for inflection. And responding appropriately. And not talking on top of people.

I think I've made a phobia out of it actually. It'll take me days to work up the courage to make a call. Weeks sometimes.

If I just impulsively make a call I have about 50% chance of a gigantic panic attack and being incomprehensible because I'm mumbling and talking too fast. Sometimes it miraculously goes ok though.

Ugh and I'm trying to get a job but I'm terrified of getting call-backs. Not so productive.

 

[. . .]

I'm mothereffing terrified of the phone. I especially hate leaving messages on answering machines. It's awkward speaking to a machine and trying to pretend that you're talking to a person.

 

[gonzerd]

Aargh, phones. I usually never answer, too much anxiety, too many variables. Last week, in a surprising moment of courage, I did manage to answer as it was ringing, and it was a telemarketeer. *rolls eyes*
By now, I use my phone so scarcely, I often don't realize when the battery's dead and it's turned off for days, sometimes weeks.
I just find it very disturbing most of the time. Making phone calls usually take a lot of rehearsals, going over what I need to say and sometimes writing it down. I also can't make phone calls when there are people around, and it also bothers me when I'm with people and they start making phone calls. Cellphones didn't do much good either, since now you're supposed to be available all the time, and people can get really mad when you don't pick up. In the olden days, when someone didn't pick up, the person wasn't at home at the time or didn't hear, and you'd just call back later. And sometimes it would take a long time before you'd get hold of someone, but that was just the way it was. Now there's a lot more pressure involved. People seem to be more pressed for attention. TALK TO ME, TALK TO ME! And with me, the more they press for attention, the longer they have to wait, because I'm just contrary like that. And the more they disturb me, the longer it takes for me to finish what I was doing and get on to the next thing, which might well be calling them.
It depends on the situation off course. When I know a friend is going through a hard time or something, I'll check more often, but otherwise it's just a huge pain in the ass. Just send me an e-mail instead, but that option doesn't seem to come to mind most of the time.
At one point I had an intake conversation to see a psychologist, and I talked a lot about my communication problems and how I can't handle phone calls, and then at the end she'd give me a bloody phone number to call in. Yeah, she was a great listener.
No, phones, not my thing.

 

[katcha]

I'm not anxious about phones, I'm just not motivated and that lack of motivation extends to never talking on phones even with family members or my wife.

Everything already feels like it's unreal with no emotional significance, so a conversation where 4/5 of the sensory input is missing is beyond my capabilities.

 

[IContainMultitudes]

I'm generally not crazy about getting sucked into long phone conversations (or long tech support calls), but I generally manage talking on the phone ok. As Mr. Burns would say, I suspect some of you need more practice operating your telephone machines!

 

[Billi]

I would rather not talk on the phone, I dislike it. I don't make many calls, I usually email, or now text people. But I do have a job, and I have to deal with people on the phone, and occasionally my partner calls me. I have learned to use the phone like a tool, like a chimp might use a rock to break open a nut. I can do it, but it's awkward.

 

[ajoycew]

I have not been diagnosed as an Aspie but my daughter has. I have been thinking about my life and I have been talking to my therapist about the possiblity of me being an Aspie too.
I have a huge anxiety when it comes to phones. I like talking to my mom, my boyfriend and my daughters when they are at their grandmother's/father's house. But other than that I mentally reherse before making a call and I still get so nervous. I don't like really long conversations. I recently tried a job as an at home customer service representative for directv. I was a nervous wreck and felt so dissorganized and lost for weeks after quiting. It really affected me for a long time. I never really thought about it as an Aspie characteristic. My daughter doesn't like to talk on the phone at all either. When I call to check on them at their dad's house, she'll say "hi mom" I say, "how r u doing? Are you having fun?" She'll say "ya, I'm ok. Do you want to talk to Katie or Miranda." That's about all she says.

 

[BruceCM]

For me, talking on the phone is easier than face to face & I've had some temporary call centre jobs, so I know I'm better at it, too. Though I also worked as a waiter for a year - that sort of communication is much easier than some socialising, for me.

 

[LgndKllr24]

I'm ok with talking on the phone, but I don't like doing it. It's an anxious feeling for me knowing that somebody will be calling, because I anticipate the phone ringing and it's kind of annoying. I rarely use my phone. I really only talk to my parents and my wife on it.

 

[Microwench]

BruceCM, you are better off than me dude! I had a call center job for less than a year. I HATED it. I would go back to making pizzas at the gas station before I would work in that environment again. I was depressed and nervous the whole time I worked there.

It's not like I don't know customer service, I worked at WalMart for almost 5 years, and a bank for a year after that. I lke face-to-face customer service. Like you said, sometimes that is an easier interaction than regular socialising

 

[aspiefemale000459]

Yes....me too. I remember back to when I was about 4 or 5 and my parents trying to get me to talk to people on the phone.....I just didn't get it, couldn't figure out how this 'voice' coming through that weird (and evil) device was connected with me and why everyone was making such a fuss about it....it very quickly became a source of panic.

These days I never answer a phone unless its my teenage daughter (she might need something from me). I prefer any other form of communication over talking on the phone....it makes me feel so lost and without a clue about what is required of me....can't see anything, can't get a sense about intent, don't know when its my turn to talk or when its ok to hang up on them and get back to what I was doing. The only clue I have is the rule - 'the person who makes the call, ends the call', which can be very inconvenient at times, maybe that's why I don't answer the phone because if I wanted to be talking to that person at that time, I would have called them. In general, I think phoning people is very rude and disrespectful, I prefer to get an SMS, at least that way I don't have to stop doing what I'm doing and start doing what someone else wants me to be doing (talking to them)....until I'm ready.

Business calls are a bit different though and I'm usually ok talking on the phone when its a structured exchange of information, I still don't like answering business calls though....mainly because of the disruption and never feeling like I'm 'ready' to deal with it. I like to be the one to make the call so that I can get together any details I might need and just generally get my head into the 'right' space.

 

[epheph]

I despise talking on the telephone. I'm not exactly sure why, but I become very anxious thinking about it and would much prefer any other form of communication.

 

[CJinherPJs]

I don't like using the phone either. I don't like having to call people unless I'm sure of who to ask for and what I need to say, and if the phone rings when I'm home alone it makes me quite anxious; if the person wants to speak to my parents I'll normally ask for their name and number to write down and my mum or dad can call them back, I'm quite forgetful when it comes to taking messages. Still, on the plus side, the person on the other end can't see me stimming or pacing, which I normally tend to do if the phone call is particularly difficult for me.

 

[Evanze]

I don't like using the phone either. I don't like having to call people unless I'm sure of who to ask for and what I need to say, and if the phone rings when I'm home alone it makes me quite anxious; if the person wants to speak to my parents I'll normally ask for their name and number to write down and my mum or dad can call them back, I'm quite forgetful when it comes to taking messages. Still, on the plus side, the person on the other end can't see me stimming or pacing, which I normally tend to do if the phone call is particularly difficult for me.

Yeah I feel like this constantly. But my girlfriend forces me to do it if not I'll never get used to it.

 

[Indigogrl79]

I've always had issues about phones. Up till two years ago I didn't own a phone... nor would I answer one. I still don't use my iphone like others would think. It's my personal keeper...alarm clock... info, laptop... gaming ect. I don't use it as a phone but I do text my sister a lot.

Using it as I type this right now....

 

[Soup]

Another phone 'thing' I can't stand is when you have no choice but to talk to someone you never called & who hadn't called you. It goes like this:

*RINGRINGRING* (someone else answers & it is for them)

"BLABLABLA" (goes on for a freakish 15 mins) "HEY!!! LEMME PUT SOUP ON THE LINE: SHE'S RIGHT HERE!!!" HEY SOUP it's ___________ (<---some person you can't even remember) come take the phone!

And before you can escape, they shove the phone against your head & you've been phone nabbed!

 

[Ylva]

When people do that to me I just turn and leave. I get that it seems rude, but coming from such a person who shoves phones with strangers in at me I can't even take accusations of rudeness seriously.

I dislike phone calls, but at least I try not to disturb other people with it when I have one. Disembodied voices are creepy.

 

[Arashi222]

Depends. I don't like phones as in I really can't deal with strangers on the phone at my house or calling to do an interview or something where they call you back or you call them back that kind of thing. Where I work which is a grocery store I have to answer the phone but honestly those are super easy my script is simple. Answer with appropriate store name (as I know which store I work at) ask how you can help them and then transfer them to the proper person or listen and tell them what to do when they come in to get something fixed. Or my personal fav is getting told we have to call and tell them they left their wallet or something. I also really hate talking to IT people for the computers the self check goes down and I get elected to call its always me sigh....but those I tend to be all hyper want to tell them way too much info in an attempt I think to make the call go quicker which of course it doesn't. But yah. I did at one point really like doing phone counseling for people. I wanted a job with it and while that part never bothers me on being on the phone everything else will. I honestly have trouble just talking to a stranger to order food from like fast food places. It freaks me out.

 

[Cerulean]

My job is talking on the phone. I NEVER do it in my personal life, but since I'm the operator for tech support there's a limited number of people who would even call in, and it's so scripted that I don't have much anxiety over any of it. I can't have a normal conversation over the phone though, yikes!