Do you find advice or life coaching for NT's useless for you?

[Seckottek]

I'm not sure if this is related but in school we always have pastoral and they spend an hour every week talking about friendship and organisation and just advice in general and it does nothing for me what do ever so I've started to just let my mind wander around and overthink and stuff purely because listening makes me furious at how stupid people are for thinking this would help anyone and then to realise the mind tricks actually work on some people makes me even angrier I understand how they would work but seriously the idea that people fall for that is horrific. But I know I don't exactly relate to nts which is why my mum thinks I need help so I stop thinking they're all idiots....

 

[wyverary]

For me, there's a difference between the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" type self-"help" motivational crap, and books that are actually useful in dealing with what life throws at us. I'm reading a couple of books at the moment, Emotional First Aid, and a book on mindfulness, and both are grounded in solid science, and give very specific instructions and suggestions as to how to deal with everyday life situations. In my opinion, unless you have a good grounding in genuine psychology, your words are simply taking up valuable oxygen or trees.

 

[garnetflower13]

I have recently started seeing a new counselor. I have had so many failed attempts at counseling in the past, because they throw NT fixes at me and then think I am just being stubborn if I say that they don't work. The best success has been with a psychologist, who diagnosed me with Asperger's. So this new counselor is also a psychologist and I am daring to hope again that it will work. I had to stop seeing the other psychologist because her office closed and she had to relocate.

 

[DogwoodTree]

because they throw NT fixes at me and then think I am just being stubborn if I say that they don't work.

Yes, this is exactly what I've experienced...very frustrating and discouraging.

 

[Ericho]

The best advice is from fellow aspies. I have read several books about people with it who give advice and they are the most useful of the kind.

 

[asnlifecoach]

Any therapy or coaching designed for NTs is ineffective for those on the spectrum. That is why I broke free of my therapist training and became a life coach specifically for those on the Autism Spectrum. I find my clients are happy with my work and understanding for their very specific needs.

 

[JuniperBug]

I went through the same thing where I wouldn't read anything but self help books ( except Harry potter of course) and just thought I'd find 'the one' eventually but the advice just never worked.

Your post makes me feel like it was my aspergers ( I've just been recently diagnosed) and not my personal failure...which is so relieving!

I also get so anxious and physically uncomfortable during both bubble baths and meditation. I'd much rather devote a week to learning a piano song or find something like that to mentally fixate on.

 

[garnetflower13]

Any therapy or coaching designed for NTs is ineffective for those on the spectrum. That is why I broke free of my therapist training and became a life coach specifically for those on the Autism Spectrum. I find my clients are happy with my work and understanding for their very specific needs.

I feel the same way about meditation and bubble baths. I get antsy if I try to meditate and I prefer to shower rather than soak in a tub so I can get right back to more important things!

 

[Joni]

Younger i was so obsessed with self-improvement. I used to read hundred of self-help books, life coaching books, healing from trauma and past abuse books (my mother is a malignant narcissist who used my diagnosis as a major tool of bullying in order to ''normalize'' me). 99% of them i consider to be total crap. Nothing would work for me. I learnt socializing rules but after each interaction (like going to a party) i would need 2 days in total isolation in order to recharge. Meditating or bubble baths had the opposite effect or make me super annoyed. Generic advice like ''give time to yourself'' infuriates me because it cannot be interpreted by my brain.
Is this because it is advice for neurotypicals? Has anyone here experienced the same or it is just me?

I have read loads of self help books always trying to find that one elusive something that would make everything ok. More often than not I was in a bad place and desperate for help and what I've always found is that they always reccomend talking to a friend ringing a friend enlisting the help of a friend. If I had a friend I probably would not have bought the book in the first place. What I have learned from all the books I've read is that friends are the key its a pity then that I do not have any.

 

[King_Oni]

The main issue I have with this kind of "advice" is that it rarely is geared towards where I want to be but rather to where they think I should be. The first question anyone with advice or lifecoaching in mind should have is "where do you want to be/go?" At that point I think any proper advice how I'll go from A to B will help me marginally more. I think it would also help if they wouldn't use generic advice but actually gave you advice that applies to you personally and specifically.

 

[Spiller]

I personally find that meditation and long hot baths help me considerably with anxiety.. different traits, I guess.
But I also spent years reading self help books and one of the most annoying things I kept coming across was the "with the help of a friend" type advice, when, as Joni pointed out, I have no friends..
I've even had councellors say the same, when I've just told them I have Aspergers.. why do professionals keep professing to know about AS/ASD, when it quickly becomes obvious that they don't? I had to see a Drugs councellor today, as I use MMJ to alleviate anxiety and depression and she understood me better and had no problem at all, compared to the psychiatrist who booked me to see her!
I mainly stick to books written by Aspies now, as their experiences, while individual and therefore different to mine in some respects usually offer much more insight into my own condition.

 

[garnetflower13]

I too,lament the fact that most of these books assume you have friends to talk to. I have had a disastrous history of making and keeping friends, so might as well tell me to spend some of those gold bars I have stashed away in a closet...