Do people with asperger's have a tendency to hate their ex-partners after break up?
If so, could this be due to their black and white thinking? You're either my girlfriend(love) or foe(hate)?
Hello all,
I am an NT and am deeply hurt and confused by my ex-boyfriend with asperger's.
(FYI, English is not my first language, so please bear with me if there's any spelling or grammar mistakes.)
It's a long story, but I will try to keep it short.
We broke up because he cheated on me.
I had been disappointed at him for quite some time and this incident drove me nuts.
So I broke up with him in a fit of anger.
I thought I was prepared for this break up, but I was in so much pain when I finally left him.
I left him on impulse. There were regrets on my side too.
So the next day, I sent him a long msg saying what I appreciated for and what I wanted to apologize for. In the msg, I blamed myself for his lost interests in me and his affair.
Although his affair was the major cause of our break up, I covered for him in the end.
I thought I left him with a goodwill.
However, when we met up again two months after our breakup,
he became such a different person. He became so cold-hearted and callous.
(When we were together, he occasionally hurt me with his blunt words, but he could never expressed his anger towards me.)
I asked him why and he was like "We broke up, should there be more love (than hatred)?"
Once again, I thought I left him with a goodwill.
Also, when we were together, I cared for him very much and he know this too.
I don't understand this. OK. He doesn't have to love me but there's no reason for him to hate me either.
Although not often, I still talk to some of my exes.
Of course, they are not as affectionate and friendly as the times they were my boyfriends, but still they sound kind enough.
I hope someone could answer my question.
It'd help me understand my ex and help me heal the wounds and forgive him.
Thank you for taking your time to read this thread.
If so, could this be due to their black and white thinking? You're either my girlfriend(love) or foe(hate)?
Hello all,
I am an NT and am deeply hurt and confused by my ex-boyfriend with asperger's.
(FYI, English is not my first language, so please bear with me if there's any spelling or grammar mistakes.)
It's a long story, but I will try to keep it short.
We broke up because he cheated on me.
I had been disappointed at him for quite some time and this incident drove me nuts.
So I broke up with him in a fit of anger.
I thought I was prepared for this break up, but I was in so much pain when I finally left him.
I left him on impulse. There were regrets on my side too.
So the next day, I sent him a long msg saying what I appreciated for and what I wanted to apologize for. In the msg, I blamed myself for his lost interests in me and his affair.
Although his affair was the major cause of our break up, I covered for him in the end.
I thought I left him with a goodwill.
However, when we met up again two months after our breakup,
he became such a different person. He became so cold-hearted and callous.
(When we were together, he occasionally hurt me with his blunt words, but he could never expressed his anger towards me.)
I asked him why and he was like "We broke up, should there be more love (than hatred)?"
Once again, I thought I left him with a goodwill.
Also, when we were together, I cared for him very much and he know this too.
I don't understand this. OK. He doesn't have to love me but there's no reason for him to hate me either.
Although not often, I still talk to some of my exes.
Of course, they are not as affectionate and friendly as the times they were my boyfriends, but still they sound kind enough.
I hope someone could answer my question.
It'd help me understand my ex and help me heal the wounds and forgive him.
Thank you for taking your time to read this thread.