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Do Aspies attract Narcissist?

peoplesrjames

Well-Known Member
Do aspies somehow attract narcissist? For most of my life I've always had friends, but I generally always have one EXTREMELY close friend that I'm always with. I've been really close friends with this one person for a long time, we even moved in together last year. I've always kind of noticed that he's kind of a jerk to people and manipulative and he himself doesn't have an awful lot of friends. He's even been not so nice to me at times, but generally is very much a good friend. Then I realized, I've had lots of relationships like that. Is that common?
 
I'm just speculating, but perhaps Aspies are more vulnerable to manipulative people because our social circle is so limited. Because our social circle is so limited, we might a) not have anyone to compare our new friend to, and might therefore make a bad judgement, and b) because we are so unused to anyone being nice to us, it might be really easy for someone to use temporary fake niceness in order to manipulate us.
 
I'm just speculating, but perhaps Aspies are more vulnerable to manipulative people because our social circle is so limited. Because our social circle is so limited, we might a) not have anyone to compare our new friend to, and might therefore make a bad judgement, and b) because we are so unused to anyone being nice to us, it might be really easy for someone to use temporary fake niceness in order to manipulate us.

I think that's what it is. Maybe we are naïve as well so we fall for the niceness. Although in my case(it's been over 4 years with this friend) there's periods of both being extremely nice and sometimes being really mean spirited.
 
I read that Aspies sometimes get misdiagnosed as having different kinds of personality disorders such as borderline (ESP women with Aspergers) and narcissism. Narcissistic personality disorder because Aspies have mind-blindness and can present as lacking empathy; plus the focusing on special interests can come off as self-absorption. Just a thought, is it possible your friend has Aspergers? Aspies seem to be drawn to each other, at least I think so bc the only friendship I've ever maintained is with my bestie that I've been close with for 20+ years who also has Aspergers. We've lasted as friends bc both of us can be, "jerks," in some ways (not returning phone calls, forgetting birthdays, saying something that's unintentionally horrifyingly rude, ect.) that would cause a neuro-typical person to end/lose interest in the friendship. Just a thought:)
 
I am attracted to narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths. The common thread is low empathy. People with low empathy are independent and not clingy. I married a narcissist and it was mostly good but we divorced after 20+ years. I currently have a good friend now who is very narcissistic. He is very likable, easy to get along with, grandiose but harmless. He does not mind that I seldom call him and he appreciates my brutal honesty. Not all narcissists are manipulative or malignant. I have known quite a few psychopaths and sociopaths over the years and am very wary and cautious with these types. I have had a few bad experiences so I keep them at a prudent distance.
 
I'm actually good friends with a sociopath, he can be real trouble if you don't know him and, know when to call him out for being falsely charming or trying to manipulate you but, I've called him on that enough times that we are pretty much down to just brutal honesty. I'm simply honest and, he simply doesn't care if his words might be hurtful or insulting so, we're good.

I also have a psychotic friend in Norway, we mostly email but, we do call one another now and then and, I do visit him when I get over there. Fascinating when he has a psychotic break, nothing like my father who was also psychotic, but, my father's breaks were aggressive and violent to his family, my friend isn't like that, he isolates and draws what's happening in his break on his walls and, writes a lot, I get very long emails, describing his alternate world in great detail.

Psychopaths I'm leary of, had a couple of very bad experiences with them so, I avoid them, or ditch them when I find out, which usually doesn't take long.

As for narcissists, I think most in the entertainment industry are at least a bit narcissistic so, yeah pretty common, not that I don't have my own narcissistic side, I do, all be that mostly learned, sometimes you have to be a bit manipulative and self centered in this business.
 
Maybe one person that has difficulty making friends ends up with another.
 

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