While I agree with you that some therapists are better than others, and while I agree that some therapists/doctors are inept at diagnosing and treating ASD, I do not believe an individual can objectively self-diagnose with accuracy sufficiently reliable to, for example, direct the course of therapy or, worse, medications for comorbid conditions.
If one self-diagnoses and its confident, then one should seek an opinion from a therapist/doctor who specializes in ASD. However, you are right that 3 years with a patient does not make one qualified to assess and Dx ASD if s/he has no experience or training with ASD. I should have phrased my comments more carefully, as you are absolutely right on this point, and I would not mean to imply otherwise.
However, this therapist knew enough to refer OP to a specialist for an assessment despite the doubts voiced to OP. So, I was inclined to accept that this particular therapist was reasonable and reliable, not letting ego get in the way.
You are right on the first item. On the second, I believe clinics are entitled to the presumption of proper practices and motives barring evidence to the contrary - otherwise, we'd all be fools to go to any doctor/clinic if we are to presume they are improperly motivated.
My response to item #3 is the same. We should presume competence and not incompetence until evidence/research indicates the contrary. Else, no one would ever go to a clinician presumed incompetent.
Concerning item #4, it is possible that the patient is more insightful, but not more objective. We humans being do not inherently see ourselves with reliable accuracy. If the patient is more insightful than the professional, then s/he should know to seek out a professional with more insight (who can also be objective about the patience).
You are correct. This was not my experience, personally. Hopefully it is not a common experience, generally, and I am sorry you and your family had to suffer so.
Granted, we all have dealt with apathetic (and even pathetic) doctors/providers, but your experience seems somewhat extreme as compared to even the negative experiences others have posted on here concerning various professionals.
Hopefully, others have an experience more like mine. I did have initial difficulty finding out where to go to get assessed, but once I got to my first appointment,things started to improve.
Of course, I was initially told I probably did not have AS/ASD just like OP. Ironically, I am sufficiently high functioning that most people including doctors would doubt I have ASD, but no one who has ever lived with me would doubt it, and when the testing was done, I had some fairly severe results in certain areas. By the end of the assessment (involving multiple sessions), the opposite became clear. I was referred to a neuropsych for confirmation and to have other explanations for my test results ruled out. ASD is, in many ways, a Dx of exclusion.
It was a tedious process (especially since both the initial evaluator and also some of my family thought I was crazy), but I got through it without too much trouble. Not everyone has an experience like mine either, though, I know. Heck, I hope most people are having it better than I did.
I agree, but then I don't really believe any doctor is a saint. We're all imperfect - doctors included. Hopefully anyone seeking a Dx lands with one who is willing to do where the testing leads and dispense with preconceptions that don't fit the data.
Knowledge of ASD is more prevalent today. When I was a kid, the odds of getting Dx'd properly were probably close to nil. Today, the odds would be much better, but it's still not good enough. I am not saying that people who self-Dx rather than seeing a professional are not autistic, and I am not taking the position that all doctors are saints or even
qualified autism specialists, but I am saying that without some sort of external evaluation, the rest of the world cannot be expected to rely upon a self-Dx when interacting with us.
Look at it this way: many people claim to be "OCD" or "ADD" without having been diagnosed. ASD is just the latest. Celebrities have perpetuated this. Check
this story and
this one out. If you think that Moby is kind of a dick, then you get what I mean. It's becoming almost fashionable to claim to be something one is not, and I just don't believe it is healthy to accept with finality self-diagnoses without further testing. I think Moby, and a lot of others, have some other psychological issues if they think it's cool to pretend that they have asperger's, but at least Moby owned up to the faking. If he hadn't come clean, and if he had continued the ruse claiming he had "self-diagnosed," we might all be defending his fake self-diagnosis here in these forums.
However, I am not saying that self-diagnosis is never accurate and never useful. I'm just saying it should be followed up with a reliable assessment from an expert if we want or need others to believe we're not just another Moby. If the Dx is just for our own internal purposes and peace of mind, then hey - we all have the right to think as we please, no?
I take people on this site at their word when they say that they are on the spectrum. I don't interrogate anyone as to how they know this when responding to their posts. However, when they volunteer that they were self-diagnosed, I have no reliable way of differentiating such a poster from the Mobies of the world who, shockingly, think it might be cool to be like me (trust me, no one IRL every accused me of coolness). It seems pretty crazy, thinking back to my own childhood experiences, to believe for one second that anyone would want to be like me...
