Can't hold interest in NT's?

[DarkLady]

All of the male "interests" (not relationships) I've had online or off have been with guys who either have Asperger's or they probably have it and just don't know it. I'm attracted to women too and when I'm friends with NT women so long as they're not the "popular" type we get along, but it seems NT guys (with the exception of moody goth/punk types) just don't hold my interest. When you text them (after being on OKCupid or PlentyofFish) they will be like "Hey, babe/gorgeous/etc" and it just annoys the frack out of me and I just can't talk to them anymore.

 

[Harry1965]

Oh yeah, why is that gorgeous?

Just kidding ... It was too easy to pass by.

Are you wanting to talk through the mysteries of the universe while they just want to get laid? Or vice versa?

No, seriously I want to know, coz I've found most girls just want to have fun and the ones who say guys suck aren't really that interested in getting to know a guy as more "own" a guy by some stage in life so their life goals remain on track.

Is this you?

 

[Cosmophylla]

All of the male "interests" (not relationships) I've had online or off have been with guys who either have Asperger's or they probably have it and just don't know it. I'm attracted to women too and when I'm friends with NT women so long as they're not the "popular" type we get along, but it seems NT guys (with the exception of moody goth/punk types) just don't hold my interest. When you text them (after being on OKCupid or PlentyofFish) they will be like "Hey, babe/gorgeous/etc" and it just annoys the frack out of me and I just can't talk to them anymore.

I have to agree, although my hunting days are over (now married with two kiddos).

I have never, ever, been attracted to a "normal" kind of person. It's hard to explain but it's almost as though it would be an insult to myself. The sorts of insensitive guys who call you "babe", etc., don't have a clue. I can't have any respect for someone like that.

Sounds like you've got good taste!

 

[Hopeless_Aspie_Guy]

Wow thats quite a few disorders you've got listed there. Guys like those (whom I hate but occasionally envy) probably aren't on there to be serious and are sometimes the ones responsible for making women nervous on online dating. For every 10, 20, 30 responses you probably get, surely there's a few decent guys. Meanwhile aspie guys have plenty of tells in terms of how they write their profiles. Did you by chance take inspiration from battlestar galactica to us the word 'frack'?

 

[Ste11aeres]

All of the male "interests" (not relationships) I've had online or off have been with guys who either have Asperger's or they probably have it and just don't know it. I'm attracted to women too and when I'm friends with NT women so long as they're not the "popular" type we get along, but it seems NT guys (with the exception of moody goth/punk types) just don't hold my interest. When you text them (after being on OKCupid or PlentyofFish) they will be like "Hey, babe/gorgeous/etc" and it just annoys the frack out of me and I just can't talk to them anymore.

There was one NT guy I enjoyed being around, but it was a purely platonic relationship-a medical relationship, actually.
Never never has a non-Aspie guy who was romantically/sexually interested in me, been someone I enjoyed being around.

 

[Cosmophylla]

I should also add that I met my husband, the love of my life, online. He was the only guy who approached me a normal (for me) way. He actually wrote a proper email and addressed the similarity of our interests and experiences, whereas all the other guys were just interested in a "good time" and didn't care who I really was. That was 7 years ago. Dunno if online matchmaking has changed since then.

If it's also worth putting it out there, I don't know if my husband is Aspie. He shows some clearly neurodiverse traits but not enough, methinks.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I should also add that I met my husband, the love of my life, online. He was the only guy who approached me a normal (for me) way. He actually wrote a proper email and addressed the similarity of our interests and experiences, whereas all the other guys were just interested in a "good time" and didn't care who I really was. That was 7 years ago. Dunno if online matchmaking has changed since then.

If it's also worth putting it out there, I don't know if my husband is Aspie. He shows some clearly neurodiverse traits but not enough, methinks.

I've been wondering about mine, myself. We met in the modern way: worked in the same industry, met at a conference. I've been nudging him to take the online tests I did, just to see what happens.

 

[On the Inside]

My romantic interests have all been "weird" in one way or another. I wouldn't have been attracted to them enough to break through my social wall if they weren't. I don't really know what normal or NT means, really. I can't say that I've really gotten to know someone like that, apart from some co-workers and acquaintances.

 

[Judge]

I dunno...on some level NTs fascinate me. Kind of like Muggles.

But my reality was that they're more apt to dump me than me dump them. Knowing I'm on the spectrum now, I'd prefer to keep it among my own kind. Likely less stressful. But the odds of that even happening are very low.

 

[Maelstrom]

I dunno...on some level NTs fascinate me. Kind of like Muggles.

But my reality was that they're more apt to dump me than me dump them. Knowing I'm on the spectrum now, I'd prefer to keep it among my own kind. Likely less stressful. But the odds of that even happening are very low.

Hi Judge , I sort of agree a NT may be more likely to pass on me...it's hard to say tho there are lots of kinds of NTs and lots of kinds of autistics...so I tend to base things more on certain personality types I like, and life style compatability. I find strong, or outgoing women attractive, but enjoy actually spending time more with soft easy going ladies. There is a certain hidden communication chemistry thing there that is elusive to put ones finger on, I'm not sure it has anything to do with being NT or aspie.

As to keeping with my own kind, I'm not sure I have a, (kind) peer group any where, NT or aspie. I find I can have fans, or haters, but I end up being a object of entertainment more than a member of society. So I make try to make the best of the situation, am too tired to be angry about it much anymore, if I can't leave the stage I may as well bring the house down.