Brief Moments of Clarity

[Kepler's Motion]

When I was diagnosed with high functioning autism in late 2015 at the age of 28 I was distraught to say the least. It was something I had no understanding of (at least that is what I believed at the time) and what we don't understand scares us. It is all a part of the human condition to fear what we don't know. Fear is what holds us back, it dictates our entire life if we allow it. We are told on a daily basis to overcome our fears, something that seems so trivial yet in reality can be one of the greatest challenges we could ever meet. So I am here today to do just that, to overcome my fears and speak to you all about my condition, my life as a HFA. Today I would like to talk to you all about a conscious state of mind that I like to call "Brief Moments of Clarity".

Throughout my day-to-day life I feel pressure, mental and physical pressure. I feel as though every decision I make is questioned in my mind by a panel of detractors constantly disproving of any move I make no matter how minor. It stops me from completing the simplest of tasks, and there are days were I have not eaten due to this mental barrier stopping me in my tracks. I mentioned also physical pressure. I am not sure if anyone can relate to this, but I am in a constant state of physical discomfort, there is no pain, just a very dull ache that is constantly present, no matter what I do I am never comfortable. Standing, sitting or lying down the dull ache throughout my body remains. I believe this symptom to be connected to my ASD.

The reason I mention these perceived abnormalities is because once every few months for anywhere between 30 seconds to 2 minutes they all disappear at once.. I feel every muscle in my body relax, I feel my mind clearing and I can see through the fog of war. The panic, self doubt and discomfort are gone. During this time I can see all my problems laid out in front of me and what is more important, I can see the solutions to these problems. In this time I am confident, I can feel some sense of self worth, I feel connected. I can only describe this period as euphoric, something akin to ionian enchantment. The moment is always fleeting and soon the haze once again descends and it feels as though once again I am stumbling around in the dark.

I wonder, is this moment that I so seldom encounter the norm for people without ASD. If it is, it must be bliss.

Can I ask if any of you have similar experiences?

Thank you for your time and attention, it means a great deal

KM

 

[tree]

Have you been checked for allergies/sensitivities?

Issues resulting from allergies can be severe and impinge
upon a person's state of consciousness.

 

[Gracey]

I couldn't state with absolute certainty that a moment of clarity is an NT thing (in a nut shell, very new to the Aspie thing and still trying to understand everything)

I don't experience the dull ache you describe but do have moments of what feels like great significance.
More than likely after pondering one of my life's puzzles, looking for an answer. If I push too hard in my search I wont get my answer. If I just give my neurons a gentle nudge in the right direction an answer will drift into consciousness like a wisp of smoke.
It's at that time, (when this answer appears to tie everything together) I experience something similar to what you've described.
mine is a calmness. A blissful, centred relaxation. Like breathing out a long breath of contentment and knowing I'm right and that everything is as it should be. It's a wonderful place to be.

I'm led to believe some people can achieve this sort of feeling when they meditate?

 

[Kepler's Motion]

Have you been checked for allergies/sensitivities?

Issues resulting from allergies can be severe and impinge
upon a person's state of consciousness.

Hey Tree, interestingly enough I have been check or allergies and sensitivities and I am incredibly intolerant to the fat protein within all bovine produce! Now I try to be strict with my diet and cut out all foods that contain this protein but as you could imagine it is very difficult!

I use to have a horrendous itch throughout my skin when ever I would sweat; restricting my diet solved this problem, so it isn't outside the realms of possibility that these intolerances are affecting other physical aspects of my body.

Good point, thank you for bringing it to my attention!

 

[Kepler's Motion]

I couldn't state with absolute certainty that a moment of clarity is an NT thing (in a nut shell, very new to the Aspie thing and still trying to understand everything)

I don't experience the dull ache you describe but do have moments of what feels like great significance.
More than likely after pondering one of my life's puzzles, looking for an answer. If I push too hard in my search I wont get my answer. If I just give my neurons a gentle nudge in the right direction an answer will drift into consciousness like a wisp of smoke.
It's at that time, (when this answer appears to tie everything together) I experience something similar to what you've described.
mine is a calmness. A blissful, centred relaxation. Like breathing out a long breath of contentment and knowing I'm right and that everything is as it should be. It's a wonderful place to be.

I'm led to believe some people can achieve this sort of feeling when they meditate?

I can relate to what you are experiencing, the idea of a centred relaxation is a good way of describing with I feel during these brief periods. Regarding mediation, it is something I have tried on numerous occasions, but can not seem to achieve any meaningful results.

I find it next to impossible to silence on ongoing monologues which take place inside my head, making mediation very difficult. The same can be said for sleep, my brain is never more active than when I put my head down at night trying to grab a few hours of sleep.

 

[tree]

@Kepler's Motion

I gave up using cow milk.
It had a bad effect on me.
Chills, confusion, crying.
For good measure, I don't eat beef, either.

Nightshade family (tomatoes, potatoes, eggplant, peppers, tobacco)
make me miserable. Aching joints, a feeling of heaviness physically,
and extreme depression mentally, as well as runny eyes and sinus
pain.

Caffeine gives me hives.
Latex family makes it hard to breath & a feeling of
burning in my mouth(bananas, figs etc) and the touch
of latex or lyric makes me itch intolerably.

I used to feel very cloudy in the head before I figured out
these substances were a problem. It's useful to keep a
food (or exposure) "diary" in order to track occurrences
of feeling bad/weird/disoriented/'off.'

 

[Gracey]

To date, I'm not having much success with meditation myself.
After talking with someone who finds it really useful for him in his own circumstances, I found I had the wrong notion of meditation anyway.

It isn't a case of switching any thoughts off, blank mind and so on. It's allowing thoughts to meander into consciousness and not get involved in them so they drift onwards and are replaced by other thoughts. All in a gentle, calm sort of way.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

When I was diagnosed with high functioning autism in late 2015 at the age of 28 I was distraught to say the least. It was something I had no understanding of (at least that is what I believed at the time) and what we don't understand scares us. It is all a part of the human condition to fear what we don't know. Fear is what holds us back, it dictates our entire life if we allow it. We are told on a daily basis to overcome our fears, something that seems so trivial yet in reality can be one of the greatest challenges we could ever meet. So I am here today to do just that, to overcome my fears and speak to you all about my condition, my life as a HFA. Today I would like to talk to you all about a conscious state of mind that I like to call "Brief Moments of Clarity".

Throughout my day-to-day life I feel pressure, mental and physical pressure. I feel as though every decision I make is questioned in my mind by a panel of detractors constantly disproving of any move I make no matter how minor. It stops me from completing the simplest of tasks, and there are days were I have not eaten due to this mental barrier stopping me in my tracks. I mentioned also physical pressure. I am not sure if anyone can relate to this, but I am in a constant state of physical discomfort, there is no pain, just a very dull ache that is constantly present, no matter what I do I am never comfortable. Standing, sitting or lying down the dull ache throughout my body remains. I believe this symptom to be connected to my ASD.

The reason I mention these perceived abnormalities is because once every few months for anywhere between 30 seconds to 2 minutes they all disappear at once.. I feel every muscle in my body relax, I feel my mind clearing and I can see through the fog of war. The panic, self doubt and discomfort are gone. During this time I can see all my problems laid out in front of me and what is more important, I can see the solutions to these problems. In this time I am confident, I can feel some sense of self worth, I feel connected. I can only describe this period as euphoric, something akin to ionian enchantment. The moment is always fleeting and soon the haze once again descends and it feels as though once again I am stumbling around in the dark.

I wonder, is this moment that I so seldom encounter the norm for people without ASD. If it is, it must be bliss.

Can I ask if any of you have similar experiences?

Thank you for your time and attention, it means a great deal

KM

Every now and again, everything just stops. I remember sitting down,feeling relaxed and thinking 'is this how other people feel all the time?'
Some sort of edge or pressure in my mind constantly...

So i can relate.

I guess the advice on diet may help. Ive thought of how to describe that to a doctor.... well its not depression.. what is it exactly?

Im more thinking it being too inactive so my brain is sort of eating itself.
More activity works so far (physical) .perhaps a wider sense of purpose will also help.
I also think it may be some sort of suppression thing, which ive developed over time to stop me from reacting strongly to things and which stops my thoughts and actions runnjng away..so i dont seem mad.

BUAWHAHAHAH

(Mad laughter)

 

[Ambi]

I do have a constant feeling of tension in the background, but I think it has to do with being in survival mode for so long that I need to learn how to get out of it.

Have you ever tried acupuncture? I have mixed thoughts about it, but for me, it was deeply relaxing - it was like forced relaxation, ha I was forced to lie still, comfortably, while the needles were in - whether it was the actual needle placements or not, it was deeply, deeply relaxing for me, which was good for me over all - I actually have physical symptoms arise from too much stress, and they actually resolved such problems for me once (I haven't gone much since). If you are interested in that, I would suggest you find a community acupuncture practice, if you are in the US: POCA
It is not a cold clinical setting (at least the one where I went) - it's much more affordable, you are in a quiet, relaxing room with relaxing sounds/music, and there are several recliners so several people can receive treatment at once. I would have found it more tense if I were in a clinical setting and completely alone in a room, but that's just me.

The other things are, as people mentioned, possible food sensitivities and whether you need an anti-anxiety medication or something like that, or some natural herbs for relaxation, and see what the doctor says.

Exercise is also good for the body, of course - I need to start working on that! I let too much stew, now it's like I'm overcooked in tension.

 

[Kepler's Motion]

@Kepler's Motion

I gave up using cow milk.
It had a bad effect on me.
Chills, confusion, crying.
For good measure, I don't eat beef, either.

Nightshade family (tomatoes, potatoes, eggplant, peppers, tobacco)
make me miserable. Aching joints, a feeling of heaviness physically,
and extreme depression mentally, as well as runny eyes and sinus
pain.

Caffeine gives me hives.
Latex family makes it hard to breath & a feeling of
burning in my mouth(bananas, figs etc) and the touch
of latex or lyric makes me itch intolerably.

I used to feel very cloudy in the head before I figured out
these substances were a problem. It's useful to keep a
food (or exposure) "diary" in order to track occurrences
of feeling bad/weird/disoriented/'off.'

A food diary may be a good idea, no harm in trying it out for a while at least! With all those dietary requirements, meals must be a challenge for you!

 

[Kepler's Motion]

To date, I'm not having much success with meditation myself.
After talking with someone who finds it really useful for him in his own circumstances, I found I had the wrong notion of meditation anyway.

It isn't a case of switching any thoughts off, blank mind and so on. It's allowing thoughts to meander into consciousness and not get involved in them so they drift onwards and are replaced by other thoughts. All in a gentle, calm sort of way.

I wish I had the power to allow my thoughts to meander, they seem to have a mind of their own I am afraid!

One thing I felt does help me every now and then are breathing exercises, a simple two minute routine at times helps me to calm down.

 

[Kepler's Motion]

Every now and again, everything just stops. I remember sitting down,feeling relaxed and thinking 'is this how other people feel all the time?'
Some sort of edge or pressure in my mind constantly...

So i can relate.

I guess the advice on diet may help. Ive thought of how to describe that to a doctor.... well its not depression.. what is it exactly?

Im more thinking it being too inactive so my brain is sort of eating itself.
More activity works so far (physical) .perhaps a wider sense of purpose will also help.
I also think it may be some sort of suppression thing, which ive developed over time to stop me from reacting strongly to things and which stops my thoughts and actions runnjng away..so i dont seem mad.

BUAWHAHAHAH

(Mad laughter)

If I had to describe it to a doctor I would say it was like living in a perpetual fog, were I desperately reach out trying to grasp anything I can for stability!

Inactivity of the mind scares me, I spend my free time feverishly reading, playing chess or trying to learn a new instrument, anything to stop "the rot" from setting in.

I think we all could benefit from a wider sense of purpose! At times it seems exceedingly difficult to take a step back and look at your life and your goals as a whole instead of just focusing on the here and now.

 

[Kepler's Motion]

I do have a constant feeling of tension in the background, but I think it has to do with being in survival mode for so long that I need to learn how to get out of it.

Have you ever tried acupuncture? I have mixed thoughts about it, but for me, it was deeply relaxing - it was like forced relaxation, ha I was forced to lie still, comfortably, while the needles were in - whether it was the actual needle placements or not, it was deeply, deeply relaxing for me, which was good for me over all - I actually have physical symptoms arise from too much stress, and they actually resolved such problems for me once (I haven't gone much since). If you are interested in that, I would suggest you find a community acupuncture practice, if you are in the US: POCA
It is not a cold clinical setting (at least the one where I went) - it's much more affordable, you are in a quiet, relaxing room with relaxing sounds/music, and there are several recliners so several people can receive treatment at once. I would have found it more tense if I were in a clinical setting and completely alone in a room, but that's just me.

The other things are, as people mentioned, possible food sensitivities and whether you need an anti-anxiety medication or something like that, or some natural herbs for relaxation, and see what the doctor says.

Exercise is also good for the body, of course - I need to start working on that! I let too much stew, now it's like I'm overcooked in tension.

I have previously tried acupuncture when I damaged muscles in my shoulder, but I'm afraid I am highly sceptical of the whole process! Thats not to knock it, if it works for certain people, then it works. Its just not for me.

I have actually just started a pretty intense work out programme which for once in my life I am actually sticking to! There is no coincidence that I started this programme and started posting on here, they are both connect to me trying to sort my life out!

 

[Ambi]

I have previously tried acupuncture when I damaged muscles in my shoulder, but I'm afraid I am highly sceptical of the whole process! Thats not to knock it, if it works for certain people, then it works. Its just not for me.

I have actually just started a pretty intense work out programme which for once in my life I am actually sticking to! There is no coincidence that I started this programme and started posting on here, they are both connect to me trying to sort my life out!

Yes, I am skeptical of the actual needle placements doing anything - but for me it was the fact that I was forced to lay there in such a relaxing environment - it was the relaxation that I feel sure did the healing

 

[Alaska]

When I was diagnosed with high functioning autism in late 2015 at the age of 28 I was distraught to say the least. It was something I had no understanding of (at least that is what I believed at the time) and what we don't understand scares us. It is all a part of the human condition to fear what we don't know. Fear is what holds us back, it dictates our entire life if we allow it. We are told on a daily basis to overcome our fears, something that seems so trivial yet in reality can be one of the greatest challenges we could ever meet. So I am here today to do just that, to overcome my fears and speak to you all about my condition, my life as a HFA. Today I would like to talk to you all about a conscious state of mind that I like to call "Brief Moments of Clarity".

Throughout my day-to-day life I feel pressure, mental and physical pressure. I feel as though every decision I make is questioned in my mind by a panel of detractors constantly disproving of any move I make no matter how minor. It stops me from completing the simplest of tasks, and there are days were I have not eaten due to this mental barrier stopping me in my tracks. I mentioned also physical pressure. I am not sure if anyone can relate to this, but I am in a constant state of physical discomfort, there is no pain, just a very dull ache that is constantly present, no matter what I do I am never comfortable. Standing, sitting or lying down the dull ache throughout my body remains. I believe this symptom to be connected to my ASD.

The reason I mention these perceived abnormalities is because once every few months for anywhere between 30 seconds to 2 minutes they all disappear at once.. I feel every muscle in my body relax, I feel my mind clearing and I can see through the fog of war. The panic, self doubt and discomfort are gone. During this time I can see all my problems laid out in front of me and what is more important, I can see the solutions to these problems. In this time I am confident, I can feel some sense of self worth, I feel connected. I can only describe this period as euphoric, something akin to ionian enchantment. The moment is always fleeting and soon the haze once again descends and it feels as though once again I am stumbling around in the dark.

I wonder, is this moment that I so seldom encounter the norm for people without ASD. If it is, it must be bliss.

Can I ask if any of you have similar experiences?

Thank you for your time and attention, it means a great deal

KM

I am not certain exactly what you are describing in your, " moments of clarity". I sorted it out into two possibilities. The first one is the minor version, and related to medical issues, possibly pain related, and I have managed to have that kind of moments a good part of the time lately. I have had problems with pain and other health problems that I have found effective ways of dealing with.

The second type of moments of clarity are spiritual. I think it is possible to get spiritual moments of clarity regardless of your particular set of spiritual beliefs and practices, or lack of them. It is a lot harder to get your spiritual moments of clarity if you wing it and try to work out your set of spiritual beliefs all on your own. That is sort of the spiritual version of reinventing the wheel.

I don't think it makes much difference what religion or other type of spiritual discipline you pick, since every one of the very many I have tried is flawed in some way. I think it works better if you pick one that suits your own personality and inclinations, because you will fit in better.

 

[Streetwise]

one thing to ponder anxiety would cause a dull ache its because anxiety puts pressure on the heart and the heart cant allow the veins arteries and capillaries the blood capacity required if you were rested calm .
focus on calm activities, not viewing non calming activities !!!
try a diet of less sugar you make enough energy, eat slow release sugar :fruit, vegetables get off coffee or tea with a lot of caffeine-no stimulants.
eat spinach, potatoes ,dates ,French beans ,turkey ,nuts ,pearl barley all have trytophan a natural antidepressant

 

[Sabrina]

I can't stay seated or standing up for too long because something starts to hurt. This is not an age issue, I remember that happening to me even when I was a kid. As a result, I change positions all the time.

You said "I feel like every decision I make it's questioned in my mind". My solution to that has been changing my lifestyle completely, so I don't have the pressure and distraction of having to make too many decisions. I've become a minimalist (minimalism is also called voluntary simplicity) so I own the least amount of stuff that I can and I I repeat meals, for example. My wardrobe is very simple and every piece of clothe I own has a practical purpose or makes me happy.

Another solution to every day anxiety has been to slow down everything. A long time ago I used to hurry all the time, I even used to walk very fast inside my house for no reason. Now I take my time to have breakfast and if I see that I'm hurrying up with no reason I talk to myself. I imagine that the parents of Dash (The boy from The Incredibles movie) are signaling me to slow down. I take a nap, I only schedule a certain amount of shores during the day, and I always leave time space between them.

I've also meditated (now not so much) and it's important for me to exercise (at least walk) everyday.

For my mental health it is of OUTMOST importance that I have some free time (at least 20 minutes, ideally all day, haha) so I can reconnect to myself. When that happens, and I am inspired to write, or I read something awesome, I experience a moment of bliss. I also experience moments of awe when I'm in a specially beautiful natural place, or if I listen to certain kind of music (like Enya).

 

[Bookmaker]

I have had brief moments of clarity. It's like being hyper-present in the moment. It's always fleeting. I can never hold on to it for long.

 

[isthisreallife]

I live for those moments, as I'm in a fog most of the time. Just trying to think of more to say on this topic is quite taxing, so I'll leave it as is

 

[Gracey]

I wish I had the power to allow my thoughts to meander, they seem to have a mind of their own I am afraid!

One thing I felt does help me every now and then are breathing exercises, a simple two minute routine at times helps me to calm down.

That's my nemesis, "Allowing"... Allowing thoughts to meander. Almost as if I can't trust myself to relinquish control to, well, myself and know I'll be okay.
I have felt almost mugged by my thoughts in the past. Little or no control. Usually when getting too involved in them. Over analysing, acutely aware, worrying, which sets off a physiological chain reaction, namely stress hormones which will amplify everything and build momentum. A bit like adding petrol to a smouldering fire.

Interrupting this process is key. Focusing on breathing is a good method. When stand-alone focus on breathing isn't working for me and I'm in the house, I listen to music through headphones and usually sing along with it (my breathing is regulated by the singing and my brain engaged by the tune and lyrics - no room for other thoughts)