BDD (Body dysmorphic disorder)

[Hadassah]

Okay, I?m pretty sure I have it.. I feel that some of my body parts are not normal looking and I always feel ugly :/ Sometimes I can?t even look into the mirror. I know you should just accept yourself, as you are, but it?s difficult, when you compare yourself to others. Also when no-one (man) has been there to tell you that you are beautiful, unless it?s your family (all females), lol. And I?ve had like no real permanent male-contact whatsoever. Even my stepdad, whom I?ve known for over 10 years doesn?t talk to me when we are under the same roof. My friends do tell me that I am beautiful and just fine, but hey, they?re my friends. Some men have said it, but how can they think that, when there are Barbie dolls around? Of course it helps (!!) and feels good, if they say that, but the feeling goes away and I go back to feeling ugly. I know I myself like people, who do look a bit different, have certain quirks about their looks, so to speak. It makes them interesting and beautiful in my eyes. But.. when it comes to myself, I?m ruthless. This is one of the reasons I haven?t been able to go out and date a lot, and also having AS (yay). Because even if I wouldn?t click with someone and it had nothing to do with me, I?d blame myself and feel it was due to my looks. I also constantly think about the way I look, checking from mirrors, if there?s one near. Even though I usually don?t like to do that, but in public it?s almost necessary. It might seem, that I?m vain because I do that, but it?s not that - I'm just afraid that I look abnormal in some way and people will treat me bad for that :/ This is a huge problem for me..

Here are the symptoms from Wikipedia, I can relate to all of them :/

Symptoms

Common symptoms of BDD include:

? Obsessive thoughts about (a) perceived appearance defect(s).
? Obsessive and compulsive behaviors related to (a) perceived appearance defect(s) (see section below).
? Major depressive disorder symptoms.
? Delusional thoughts and beliefs related to (a) perceived appearance defect(s).
? Social and family withdrawal, social phobia, loneliness and self-imposed social isolation.
? Suicidal ideation.
? Anxiety; possible panic attacks.
? Chronic low self-esteem.
? Feeling self-conscious in social environments; thinking that others notice and mock their perceived defect(s).
? Strong feelings of shame.
? Avoidant personality: avoiding leaving the home or only leaving the home at certain times.
? Dependent personality: dependence on others, such as a partner, friend or family.
? Inability to work or an inability to focus at work due to preoccupation with appearance
? Problems initiating and maintaining relationships (both intimate relationships and friendships).
? Repetitive behavior (such as constantly (and heavily) applying make-up; regularly checking appearance in mirrors).
? Seeing slightly varying image of self upon each instance of observing a mirror or reflective surface.
? Perfectionism (undergoing cosmetic surgery and behaviors such as excessive moisturizing and exercising with the aim to achieve an ideal body type and reduce anxiety).
? Note: any kind of body modification may change one's appearance. There are many types of body modification that do not include surgery/cosmetic surgery. Body modification (or related behavior) may seem compulsive, repetitive, or focused on one or more areas or features that the individual perceives to be defective.


Is there anyone else with the same difficulties? Please talk to me. Is there any help for this? :/

 

[King_Oni]

Well... it I think about one of the blogs I posted here last week, it might add up for me as well.

It's just that I feel it's not along the same lines as most people have this. I'm not uncomfortable with my body as such... it's just that I'm not happy, and to some extent get depressed, for not looking more "stylish" I guess. I care a bit more about appearance rather than physique. But if I use the list you posted here in a similar fashion, yes... I might just as well qualify for BDD or a related form of such (especially since I can't imagine that my issue is so exclusive and I'm the only person on the globe).

A few things might not apply directly but pretty much just indirectly.

What to do with this? I've read about people getting therapy, extensive therapy. Working on self-esteem might be on of the more common ones. But I've also seen people that had an ideal image in their mind, got surgery (or at least took the steps to get it fixed) and lived happily ever after.

What you might wonder is which aspect of yourself and your appearance don't you like, and do you have any reasonable way to change this? I mean, if you think you're too curvy (or just fat) a diet and excercise with a coach (or other forms of professional help) might help, whereas, if you would like to have oversized eyes like say, (a lot of) anime characters, that might be a bit harder to pull off. So, what exactly is your problem and how do you think it can be fixed?

Obviously next steps would be to see if it's affordable, accessible for anyone and perhaps have talks with a therapist if this is in fact the big issue for you.

 

[Hadassah]

Well... it I think about one of the blogs I posted here last week, it might add up for me as well.

It's just that I feel it's not along the same lines as most people have this. I'm not uncomfortable with my body as such... it's just that I'm not happy, and to some extent get depressed, for not looking more "stylish" I guess. I care a bit more about appearance rather than physique. But if I use the list you posted here in a similar fashion, yes... I might just as well qualify for BDD or a related form of such (especially since I can't imagine that my issue is so exclusive and I'm the only person on the globe).

A few things might not apply directly but pretty much just indirectly.

What to do with this? I've read about people getting therapy, extensive therapy. Working on self-esteem might be on of the more common ones. But I've also seen people that had an ideal image in their mind, got surgery (or at least took the steps to get it fixed) and lived happily ever after.

What you might wonder is which aspect of yourself and your appearance don't you like, and do you have any reasonable way to change this? I mean, if you think you're too curvy (or just fat) a diet and excercise with a coach (or other forms of professional help) might help, whereas, if you would like to have oversized eyes like say, (a lot of) anime characters, that might be a bit harder to pull off. So, what exactly is your problem and how do you think it can be fixed?

Obviously next steps would be to see if it's affordable, accessible for anyone and perhaps have talks with a therapist if this is in fact the big issue for you.

You don't seem to really know about BDD.. Usually people with BDD go TOO far with the surgery and are never happy!! It is not the cure! Seen a few shows/documentaries on this. Because it's in your head, anything outer preparing won't help! You'll always think there's something wrong with you.

And are you suggesting I'm fat? I never said THAT is my problem. I just said I think my body parts or face isn't normal. Please, if I'm not bone sticking thin doesn't make me fat. I have a tiny waist and a nice chest and an ass, can't get rid of those in the gym. Skinny girls always look at me like I'm some kind of freak and guys stare because of my chest! It can be really uncomfortable and makes me feel even more like a freak! You shouldn't really point things like that to someone, who has always been self-conscious about those features and might have BDD and make them think they look even freakier for just being a woman. Fat as in obese is totally different and I'm not like that. Sorry if I overreact but you made me cry!!

 

[King_Oni]

No, I'm not suggesting you're fat. I said "too curvy"... and unless you see yourself as "too [whatever]" then yes. But no, you're not too fat. You can just as well replace "too fat" with "too skinny"... if you perceive yourself as "too much" of something, that's where there is an issue. So it's not a personal attack towards you. Sorry if that made you cry.. surely wasn't intended to.

If people with BDD are never happy, it seems utterly pointless to start with. To me that just seems like being depressed because nothing is ever good enough. And much like people that cannot be happy anytime, it might be good that these people take some time and consider if there's actually something to be happy about. From what I understand people with BDD do want a solution to fix their bodily displeasure. Otherwise I don't even know why it should be called BDD.. just call it depression. If we're going this route we can call pretty much everything a specific disorder.

That being said, yes they might go too far... but what's "too far". Too far is most likely a perception of the outside world. These people will not see it themselves as "too much".

 

[Hadassah]

Well the thing is.. I’ve mentioned this before, I was ridiculed by boys in school. Because of my early development. My chest and ass have been pointed out, since not many girls had them when I was growing up. I was called fat, for those reasons, so I’m sensitive to it!! Also my nose has been made fun of and the shape of my face.. So *tadaa* those are the things in me I think are distorted till today! So that’s why I get very upset if someone seems to talk about them. No-one has any idea what I’ve been through and how much I’ve hated myself. My body at times I’ve seen to be so horrible I wanted to kill myself. So that is the reason I get so upset. Not many understand, so I’m sorry if I’m dramatic about it. Just hoped to be understood here and get support.

 

[Explosition_Rooster]

Well the thing is.. I?ve mentioned this before, I was ridiculed by boys in school. Because of my early development. My chest and ass have been pointed out, since not many girls had them when I was growing up. I was called fat, for those reasons, so I?m sensitive to it!! Also my nose has been made fun of and the shape of my face.. So *tadaa* those are the things in me I think are distorted till today! So that?s why I get very upset if someone seems to talk about them. No-one has any idea what I?ve been through and how much I?ve hated myself. My body at times I?ve seen to be so horrible I wanted to kill myself. So that is the reason I get so upset. Not many understand, so I?m sorry if I?m dramatic about it. Just hoped to be understood here and get support.

Okay, so first off, everyone calm down and take a DEEP breath. 1... 2... 3... There, feeling better now? Is everyone 'Zen Grasshopper'? Good.

Now, I looked up some stuff on this since I read the post; I, unfortunately, don't have BDD, but I did read up on it. With that said, I would like to make it known that I generally don't like 'Barbie Girls', as I see them as... not real. Hadassah, you're beautiful the way you are, okay? It might not mean much coming from me, but I mean it. I like the way you look.

Now, as to what I've read the only treatment for BDD seems to be therapy, where one learns to look at ones self in a new light. I would suggest that you start on that ASAP. In the mean time, instead of thinking negative thoughts when you see a 'Barbie girl', trying thinking about how you're 'realer' than they are and how you don't need all that crap to look beautiful. You need to stop with the negative thoughts and start thinking positive ones and start thinking of yourself in a much more positive light. If you need someone to talk to you, you can always talk to me, okay?

... jeez my post is a mess...

Body dysmorphic disorder: Treatments and drugs - MayoClinic.com

 

[Hadassah]

Okay, so first off, everyone calm down and take a DEEP breath. 1... 2... 3... There, feeling better now? Is everyone 'Zen Grasshopper'? Good.

Now, I looked up some stuff on this since I read the post; I, unfortunately, don't have BDD, but I did read up on it. With that said, I would like to make it known that I generally don't like 'Barbie Girls', as I see them as... not real. Hadassah, you're beautiful the way you are, okay? It might not mean much coming from me, but I mean it. I like the way you look.

Now, as to what I've read the only treatment for BDD seems to be therapy, where one learns to look at ones self in a new light. I would suggest that you start on that ASAP. In the mean time, instead of thinking negative thoughts when you see a 'Barbie girl', trying thinking about how you're 'realer' than they are and how you don't need all that crap to look beautiful. You need to stop with the negative thoughts and start thinking positive ones and start thinking of yourself in a much more positive light. If you need someone to talk to you, you can always talk to me, okay?

... jeez my post is a mess...

Body dysmorphic disorder: Treatments and drugs - MayoClinic.com

Thank you for being supportive! It means a lot to me.. Your opinion does matter!

Actually, I thought I was over being this sensitive about my looks.. I'm sorry if people here at AC have been troubled or _annoyed_ by my posts I truly am! But it actually has helped me now to realize that I _do indeed need professional help_ with my self-image problems, among other things.. And thank God there, where I got diagnosed they ARE offering me therapy But I just have to wait a while due to some protocols here

But sorry for all the drama, seriously. I wish I could help it, but the pain sometimes is too much, that I'm not able to think straight what I write here.. But this has actually been the only place I've felt in a long time, where I have been able to be my real self :,)

 

[Sparticus]

Don't worry; so many of us have been in the same boat-venting here about different things. And then venting some more...you don't have to aplogize. I'm glad posting here helps for you. It has helped me too. Some things are hard to get rid of like how we feel about our bodies etc.

Actually, I thought I was over being this sensitive about my looks.. I'm sorry if people here at AC have been troubled or _annoyed_ by my posts I truly am! But it actually has helped me now to realize that I _do indeed need professional help_ with my self-image problems, among other things.. And thank God there, where I got diagnosed they ARE offering me therapy But I just have to wait a while due to some protocols here

But sorry for all the drama, seriously. I wish I could help it, but the pain sometimes is too much, that I'm not able to think straight what I write here.. But this has actually been the only place I've felt in a long time, where I have been able to be my real self :,)

 

[Hadassah]

Don't worry; so many of us have been in the same boat-venting here about different things. And then venting some more...you don't have to aplogize. I'm glad posting here helps for you. It has helped me too. Some things are hard to get rid of like how we feel about our bodies etc.

Thank you <3

 

[asnlifecoach]

When I was suffering from BDD it was pretty severe. I was morbidly obese for most of my teenage years, and then I got fed up with it and became anorexic. I lost 100lbs by severely restricting my diet. Some weeks I would lose 20lbs at a time. Anyway, once I was skin and bones I still saw the morbidly obese person in the mirror. I saw myself exactly the same way visually, and that is hard for many people to understand. It took someone showing me a picture of myself to realize whoa, who is that?!? Then it took a guy to fall in love with me for me to feel more comfortable with myself, get to a healthy weight, and actually look in the mirror and have more realistic views of myself. Now, I never thought I was pretty, in fact I thought I was ugly and that's why people always stared at me. Turns out, I was always attractive and that's why people were staring! It took many many years for me to learn and realize this. Some of it was maturing and getting older, and most of it was hard work. I eat healthy, workout, and force myself to talk to people and smile at them and say nice things to them. When I treat myself good and others good, then I feel good about myself.

If you ever need to talk, contact me. I can assure you I know how you feel. Just remember one thing. As harshly as you criticize yourself, other people are busy doing the same things to themselves. Please watch this video:

Real Beauty Sketches - Dove

 

[Hadassah]

When I was suffering from BDD it was pretty severe. I was morbidly obese for most of my teenage years, and then I got fed up with it and became anorexic. I lost 100lbs by severely restricting my diet. Some weeks I would lose 20lbs at a time. Anyway, once I was skin and bones I still saw the morbidly obese person in the mirror. I saw myself exactly the same way visually, and that is hard for many people to understand. It took someone showing me a picture of myself to realize whoa, who is that?!? Then it took a guy to fall in love with me for me to feel more comfortable with myself, get to a healthy weight, and actually look in the mirror and have more realistic views of myself. Now, I never thought I was pretty, in fact I thought I was ugly and that's why people always stared at me. Turns out, I was always attractive and that's why people were staring! It took many many years for me to learn and realize this. Some of it was maturing and getting older, and most of it was hard work. I eat healthy, workout, and force myself to talk to people and smile at them and say nice things to them. When I treat myself good and others good, then I feel good about myself.

If you ever need to talk, contact me. I can assure you I know how you feel. Just remember one thing. As harshly as you criticize yourself, other people are busy doing the same things to themselves. Please watch this video:

Real Beauty Sketches - Dove

Oh wow.. That video made me cry.. It was so beautiful..

Thank you for your lovely supportive post! I have come to (lately especially) realize, that people around me definitely see me differently, than I see myself.. :,) And beauty definitely mostly comes from the inside! They see me in a more positive way that I could've ever imagined! I have heard this from friends too, but as coming your friends you sort of doubt it.. Or I did. But other things have happened, just like your post A certain guy can make a difference too I hope I can have that too. So thank you. I'm glad you could overcome your issues with yourself as well, that is wonderful!!

 

[asnlifecoach]

I'm so glad you watched the video. You are very welcome, and know that you always have support and people here to remind you how beautiful you are!

 

[Hadassah]

I'm so glad you watched the video. You are very welcome, and know that you always have support and people here to remind you how beautiful you are!

Awwwwww <3

 

[HelloDizzy]

M first diagnosis of ANYTHING was BDD. I have had eating disordered behavior since I was 6 [I am 21] and I believe myself to be too large at all times. I show all of the symptoms and they ave yet to go away despite compliments and modeling professionally.
I very much understand.

 

[Hadassah]

Awww. Wel HI then Dizzy!