Aspies and Facebook

[Aspieistj]

I am 71, learned I have AS in my 60s, and have no desire to tweet, text, use FB, cell phones or all the other modern communications that are hugely popular. I keep getting requests to "friend" someone on FB and I have been trying to be "nice" and participate a little. I also have prosopagnosia, I am face blind, and fuzzy pictures of people whom I haven't seen in years are a huge challenge for me to recognize. I really don't enjoy struggling to learn to use FB. Why not jus use email????? So, I was puzzling over who the Hell the latest person is to request being my friend when I noticed a picture of a homely baby with lots of "likes" from people who say it is adorable. I immediately thought all this ilk is crazy and then I realized that I think my Aspieness keeps me from enjoying FB. DO other Aspies, as a rule, dislike FB?

 

[NateSean]

Or you maybe you just don't like Facebook. Not liking something isn't necessarily a symptom of Aspergers, otherwise the entire population would have Asperger's on the grounds that someone somewhere doesn't like something.

 

[Harrison]

I have a FB account, also a Twitter account that I use to read from rather than post to.

 

[Adora]

I don't have Facebook either and do have problems with recognising faces from time to time,Facebook never appealed to me but everyone is different.

 

[Suzanne]

I am an aspie and love facebook. But then again, my facebook is with a difference and that is, me only befriending sisters of my faith ie Jehovah's Witnesses.

When they post pictures that I really do not want to see, I just press on the link to stop them posting on my wall, but not unfriending them.

I do not think it is a particular aspie trait. For I am tons better online than off.

I only have facebook and I use Yahoo Answers and Yahoo messenger and aspiecentral. Too many would confuse and distress me on having to keep up and so, I don't bother!

 

[Judge]

I have no use for Facebook, socially or professionally.

That I perceive Facebook as an online manifestation of "Lord of the Flies" might reflect being on the spectrum. Then again anyone having been bullied in life whether Aspie or NT might well think the same.

 

[grommet]

I do not like Facebook at all or any of the other things you mentioned. I don't have a smartphone, I have a basic cellphone just for emergencies. I might speak on it 10 minutes a year. I am not interested in all the social tech, I don't understand it or why it is so important to so many people. They can enjoy it, that is okay with me, I just don't and it's overwhelming to me trying to keep track of everything going on in people's lives. Also, online social interacting is to me much the same as in person socializing so it drains me quickly.

 

[Progster]

Or you maybe you just don't like Facebook. Not liking something isn't necessarily a symptom of Aspergers, otherwise the entire population would have Asperger's on the grounds that someone somewhere doesn't like something.

I don't think that Aspieistj was saying that not liking Facebook is a symptom of Aspergers. She was saying that having Aspergers means that she doesn't enjoy FB in the same way as other people do, because of the social aspect (people all liking a cute baby picture because that's a social thing to do, and perhaps because she finds it superficial) or because of the face blindness or resistance to change, which some Aspies can have, including myself. She's asking what other people feel about it, not whether it's a symptom.

Aspieistj, I understand perfectly what you are saying, and although I have an account, I don't like FB or social media for similar reasons - I don't feel this way about cute baby pictures and also have face blindness, and I don't 'like' things out of social obligation - I 'like' things because I genuinely like them. But I don't use FB to socialise, but to keep in touch with family members whose email address I don't have, or to look at some groups where new music releases are posted. Otherwise, I'd have deleted my account by now, because I don't have any other use for it.

I have a phone, but I don't use it for socialising either. I have it for emergencies, for texting or phoning when I need to contact someone, or sometimes I take a picture. I use email as my main means of communication.

 

[On the Inside]

I really like using facebook to contact people that I don't see very often. It is so much better than calling on the phone for me. I recently had a weekend get together with old friends who I hadn't seen in 5 years or more, all arranged by facebook messages. I would not have been able to do it had I needed to talk on the phone.

I like the friends-at-arms-length aspect, and it allows quick and infrequent contact with people that I would be uncomfortable trying to meet up with.

 

[Aspieistj]

Or you maybe you just don't like Facebook. Not liking something isn't necessarily a symptom of Aspergers, otherwise the entire population would have Asperger's on the grounds that someone somewhere doesn't like something.

I just thought I saw a possible explanation for my dislike of FB and wondered if it might be an Aspie trait. I had a sudden jolt as I read on FB and thought how much like small talk it was. Sorry if I am wrong.

 

[AGXStarseed]

I'm not a fan of Facebook - seen too many bad news stories about it and considering how you really get a very wide diversity of people (including a sizable range you'd rather avoid), I'd rather stick to this website.
I did try Tumblr, but found it unsuitable for me for various reasons.

 

[Nitro]

Fazecrook is a very clever invasion of privacy. I had an account to use as a way to keep up with former classmates and regret ever becoming a part of the whole mess. I still remember my first "friend" there. Mark Zuckerweiner and I go way back...NOT!

 

[NTgirl4276]

I used to be very active on social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) but I deleted all of my accounts at the end of last year. My life is so much better without them.

 

[Nitro]

Very early on during the beginning of Facebook,I made up an online name to view a page. Grady Groves has become very popular on Facebook and still gets reminders that possibly friends from my real named page may interest me. Grady gets at least two requests a week to befriend spammers who mostly use the same highschool as their alma mater and is asked if he knows most of my friends from my real page.
I loved the part where they allowed businesses to join up and then would pit your own competition against you in sidebar ads.

 

[clg114]

I am 71, learned I have AS in my 60s, and have no desire to tweet, text, use FB, cell phones or all the other modern communications that are hugely popular. I keep getting requests to "friend" someone on FB and I have been trying to be "nice" and participate a little. I also have prosopagnosia, I am face blind, and fuzzy pictures of people whom I haven't seen in years are a huge challenge for me to recognize. I really don't enjoy struggling to learn to use FB. Why not jus use email????? So, I was puzzling over who the Hell the latest person is to request being my friend when I noticed a picture of a homely baby with lots of "likes" from people who say it is adorable. I immediately thought all this ilk is crazy and then I realized that I think my Aspieness keeps me from enjoying FB. DO other Aspies, as a rule, dislike FB?

My position is very much like yours. I am 69 and was diagnosed at 62. I do not do FB, twitter or text. I see all of these forms of communication as a breeding ground for miscommunication and bad feelings. I do have a cell phone, but only so my customers can contact me. Unlike a lot of Aspies, if I'm going to communicate with someone I want to talk to them. There is not as much chance of miscommunication that way.

I think that this attitude comes more from my age than my Aspieness.

 

[musclecarman]

I use it mainly to chat to mates and look at facebook pages.

 

[Datura]

I deleted my facebook account some time ago. The main impetus is that I find the very nature of their business model repugnant. They are essentially wrangling as much personal data as possible in order to specifically target adds. It is corporate social engineering on a grand scale and the power imbalance between users and providers is terrifying. In the age of social media we have effectively become cyber peasants, slavishly feeding companies data for which we are given neither ownership nor recompense. The cost of non-compliance is social exclusion.

The only reason I joined facebook in the first place is because it became everybody elses main mode of communication. I never liked the platform. I like it even less now than I did in the beginning. Everything you see is now mediated by algorithms designed to determine what you want to see, and which signal-boosted corporate profiles THEY want you to see.

I had a sudden jolt as I read on FB and thought how much like small talk it was.

This is very true of much of facebook. So much of it is superficial, gossipy, bullying, and histrionic. However, maybe this is just me, but I have seen other people use the platform in a more constructive way; leaving thought provoking comments and linking to interesting articles. They also provide tools that make it very easy to organize events, which was a main draw for me.

I have also heard that viewing social media is actually bad for your self esteem. You look at all of these other people and how they are living their lives and you start to compare. You sit there for hours looking through your feed, watching other people live their lives and start thinking, "why can't my life be like that?" Of course, people do tend to cultivate an image online that is not completely representative of reality. When they aren't being overly dramatic they tend to share their best side, and perhaps embellish a bit. The shame and discontent this generates is likely a boon to advertisers. If it wasn't by design it is at least a rather "happy" coincidence.

 

[On the Inside]

I have had no qualms about deleting people from my "friends" if they are political, religious, post too much, post stupid things, post the same kinds of things over and over, do any kind of bullying or name calling. That is probably why I only have 40 friends on facebook.

 

[EdR]

It appears that there is a consensus among those of us over 60. I do not use Facebook or any other form of social media, nor do I possess a smartphone.

The primary reason is that I am a solitary person and have little interest in sharing either my life or someone else's life. Buttressing this thought was comments from many employee's of mine who said that they were unsuccessful in locating my Facebook page. If I do not share with family and a few close people, I'll be damned if I allow hourly employees access to my life.

Like cig114, if I intend to communicate with someone, it is done either face to face or by phone.

Text messages and email have their place in my life, but only according within the constraints my Aspie self has developed.

This is another Aspie characteristic that is never going to make my list of traits to modify and improve.

 

[Nitro]

I have had no qualms about deleting people from my "friends" if they are political, religious, post too much, post stupid things, post the same kinds of things over and over, do any kind of bullying or name calling. That is probably why I only have 40 friends on facebook.

While I agree with you,remember that it is impossible to remove your personal footprint from Facebook as you are opened up to the entire planet by them