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Are you content in your isolation?

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cheetoe80

Well-Known Member
I went to see the psychiatrist yesterday, he was some guy I only had to pay $10 to see because it was through the government. this guy said that he doesn't think most of my problems stem from my aspergers because most aspies just don't like being social and are content in their isolation. So I'm just wondering how many of you are content with social isolation?
 
My psychiatrist said the same thing but I just talked over her. I don't like having many friends and often do like being alone, but that doesn't mean I never want a friend. I do get lonely. It's not so black and white.
 
I think people on the spectrum feel more comfortable in isolation because it's easier and not as overwhelming, but it doesn't mean that you have to avoid people. You don't have to be alone because it's in Asperger's description, so to speak. I think it might be important to decide if you want casual, more or less superficial friendships or you need a best friend, or a spouse to spend the rest of your life with. I mean, casual relationships can grow into something serious but they don't have to. If you want to have someone to go out with, or to talk about interesting subjects, it's not as hard as it seems to obtain those relationships. Depends how good your social skills are, how much "training" you've had. Developing serious relationships might be much more difficult especially for people on the spectrum. I think that's one of the reasons why so many of us prefer being alone, because it's hard to understand others sometimes, their behaviour, their motives etc.

What kind of relationship are you looking for?
 
cheetoe80 said:
I went to see the psychiatrist yesterday, he was some guy I only had to pay $10 to see because it was through the government. this guy said that he doesn't think most of my problems stem from my aspergers because most aspies just don't like being social and are content in their isolation. So I'm just wondering how many of you are content with social isolation?
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I am not content. :( If I was better off financially, I would be a tad bit less isolated. It would be nice to have more real friends to hang out with, that way I can truly break the stereotype. :)

I rather be out and socialize politically and stuff like that. I enjoy company and friendship. Everyone needs love. Loneliness hurts and it does hurt me. :cry:

Edit: I can be lonely online, the internet world only is a percentage of ones life. :S It doesn't make the overall person.
 
I'm not content enough sometimes.

I can go through days without going outside or talking to anyone, and in the past that even included not using the internet and just keeping to myself, and still, I felt that I was being pressured in "at some point you have to get out again". That thought stresses me out enough on a daily basis if I want to "lock myself up".

To be honest, sometimes I just wish I could go to Mars (believe it was Mars) like Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen (and obviously not die due to lack of oxygen and all). I like to initiate contact with people when I want to, not when I need to over some social convention.
 
I don't know it depends on what you mean by content. I think I want friends. I want people to like me and to get along with. But...there is the Asperger's stuff and that I think sometimes gets in my way of having a few close friends. I am at times content to be alone. I am content in that its comforting, its easy I know what its like but does that mean that I don't want something else? No.
 
Am I content with social isolation; not a chance, but I find I am becoming less fed up with it even as I try to turn it around.
I am having a go at being more social in the hopes of attaining enduring relationships, but the more time I spend around people the more I feel I need to remain isolated.
So for me at least, it seems it is a catch 22 situation ; ]
 
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I wouldn't call it being "content" as much as being numb to the feeling of isolation and loneliness though it is a product of my own inclinations. There are many conflicting things that I desire. Ultimately, I feel that in order to not be isolated, I have to sacrifice certain things, such as alone time, disconnectedness from phones, social networks, etc. I would also have to put some effort to plan social events and keep in touch with people....not to mention I will have to develop my social skills a lot more. Maybe deep inside, my subconscious has decided I would rather have a minimal social life than to keep up with all the obligations of maintaining an active social life.
 
Most of the time, yeah. I'm perfectly happy being alone. Sometimes I would like to have more friends or a better social live, but most of the time I'd rather be alone.
 
Very content. I think for me it has come with age. But I enjoy being by myself. I don't mind company but really like my alone time. Like weekends. No plans, it is a great time.
 
I am largely content with having few friends. Once in a while I do wish for a person with whom I can discuss my special interests, though. I have lived alone in the past, and prefer being alone to some of the more disasterous significant relationships I have had. However, I live with my partner now, and I cannot imagine life without her. She is the first person I have ever known who cares for me unconditionally. It is an amazing thing.

That said, I absolutely must pace myself around the rest of the world. And I'm coming to the conclusion that it is okay and necessary to my well being. A little down time is better than none, and time spent with just one other person is almost as good as down time, for me. Depending on the person, of course.:cute:
 
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I am not content with my isolation. I like when I am home with no visitors, yet wish there was someone to share it with. When I take my sons to karate, it is awkward either way. Either I talk with the other mothers, and feel like the oddball, or I don't talk with them and feel like an outsider. When I am at school/work I feel ok to be social a little so long as I am not just standing around doing nothing. However, I notice my voice. I notice I speak slower like I'm being careful to say the right words. It's awkward to spit them out. Sometimes the wrong word slips out. I notice that my speech does not come out in a natural way the way it does with others. I feel embarrassed.
One thing I am content about is not having much of a social life. I never feel like going out and being social. I don't know how I'm going to find a companion, but somehow feel faith that it'll happen if it's supposed to.
 
Yes and no. If I had no one to talk to, I wouldn't be very happy honestly. But I have no desire for a huge social life, either, or even what would be considered a "normal" one.

I really just prefer to have one person I'm really close and comfortable with.
Also see my family reasonably regularly.

Possibly a small handful of people I may see very rarely for random get togethers, who won't take my anti-socialness personally and are the same in that respect. I like the idea of aspie meet ups but I don't know of any. I'll possibly revisit that idea in the UK. That and occasionally talking to people or keeping updated through the internet is good.
 
uhjulie said:
My psychiatrist said the same thing but I just talked over her. I don't like having many friends and often do like being alone, but that doesn't mean I never want a friend. I do get lonely. It's not so black and white.
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sounds like you were there.
 
I'm very content with my current sitiuation.

I'm not isolated though... well kinda. I always have a lot of friends but I intentionally keep them at an emotional distance. That way I have no obligation to spend time with them and they have no obligation to spend time with me. So when it comes to recreation, Im not isolated. I always have some friends to hang out with. But when you're talking about true friendships then yes I am a bit isolated. And thats exactly how I want it.
 
2010Dolby said:
I'm very content with my current sitiuation.

I'm not isolated though... well kinda. I always have a lot of friends but I intentionally keep them at an emotional distance. That way I have no obligation to spend time with them and they have no obligation to spend time with me. So when it comes to recreation, Im not isolated. I always have some friends to hang out with. But when you're talking about true friendships then yes I am a bit isolated. And thats exactly how I want it.
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I think pretty much anyone who has a lot of freinds would have to be that way.
 
i'm very content and cant have it any other way. i used to want friends and thought i wanted a relationship, but always knew i couldnt handle it. now i'm so content with it. who needs people if you can have cats?
having a silky furball purring on my lap is much more calming and makes me much happier than having people around. humans just dont posses the magic animals do. i've liked animals' company ever since i can remember myself. around people i feel empty, numb, bored, anxious and frustrated. why would i want those negetive feelings? i'm not a masochist.
 
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