Are a portion of people on the autism spectrum asexual? Asking due to my failed relationship

[Kayla55]

Weird relationship with sex

I have a weird relationship with sex. At times I enjoy sexual things and they seem perfectly natural and enjoyable. But at other times I can be repulsed by the idea and find the whole process weird and abnormal. I recently started dating a girl that I really like and I am worry that when I go...

www.autismforums.com

I reference above thread because it describes a guy perspective on being turned off due to thinking too much

Female a-sexual view: well half those cartoon/porn styles are degrading and half those positions and no way I'm going to do it.
Generalised female point: we get more headaches than men, not in the mood, ye if men had babies they'd also loose bit of sex drive n stop being unreasonable, of course don't feel like it.
Masking in sex: trying to dump boyfriend because I'm tired of doing things that I actually not interested but struggling to word this to him. A-sexual
Absolutely not relating to porn and will physically slap n leave if he tries to stick his finger there, again. I have difficulty removing condoms and French kissing die to germs. Ecoli is just really pushing mark, on renal dysfunction, seems lot of porn thinks they want this
Reaching puberty never affected my brain, but sexism did limit opportunities. No, I don't suffer severe PM's....generally affected by sensory more (a-sexual) having constricts to sex ways my symptoms for perimenopause are not hormonal disruptions and I object to any suggestion that all women have periods together in same boat.
Feeling akward and not spontaneous in bed, lacking sexuality and oh, yes, that's why he decided to put on porn, and at time difficult due to silence to find compatible partner. I think article that defines what's normal

 

[AuroraBorealis]

In relation to the topic: I have pondered and concluded that it's not a stretch to believe we're headed towards a future not dissimilar to that Blade Runner 2049 movie...where it's common to have digital spouses and such. AI partners that digitally manifest to be clearer. The main reasoning that I expect this to happen is because of the same traits asexual folks possess and only look for in another. I think that digital partners will be their preference.

Long ago, a girl I dated actually called me a replicant. Fast forward all of this time, and Gosling's character in BR 2049 actually was a replicant...and he was the one with the digital partner that he so cared for. It's a reason why I pondered on the subject, as well.

There's an incredible negative to be wary of in this scenario, though: It could be something that enables and/or trains someone to be narcissistic in their views of how relationships only work out...if the digital partner only ever does whatever it takes to suit the person. That wouldn't help steer better humanity any.

Oh dear. Sorry for that instinctive reaction, but: Oh dear. I hope not.

The main reasoning that I expect this to happen is because of the same traits asexual folks possess and only look for in another. I think that digital partners will be their preference.

I don't mean this disrespectfully, but what exactly do you mean? I am fairly active in the (digital) ace community, and I don't know which "traits asexual folks possess and only look for in another". In my experience ace people are as variable as sexual people, both in their traits as well a in their preferences and what they look for in a partner. In addition to being sexual/asexual/gray/demi/everything in between, you have romantic/aromantic/something in between. Surely there are some who would prefer digital connection only, but you really can't generalize that, it's too complex.

 

[Kayla55]

Define yourself

Yip, knowing what to expect can ease lot of pressure Speaking of compatibility it goes long way in a relationship working. Bad experiences can haunt a person. Asking a young inexperienced lady to define certain preferences so as to not waste time dating is a good idea and being young I was...

www.autismforums.com

 

[Dagan]

I just went ahead and deleted my posts. I apparently got things wrong, and not being a part of such communities, that's what can happen more often than not. I admit that my ponderings were based on the literal definition of "asexual" and also thinking that a community exists that is only, just fitting that exact definition of only that word...that it wouldn't concern other claimed community labels, as well...and so it just looks like I stuck a whole shoe store of feet in my mouth. My bad. I acknowledge and own the mistake. Apologies.

 

[AuroraBorealis]

I just went ahead and deleted my posts. I apparently got things wrong, and not being a part of such communities, that's what can happen more often than not. I admit that my ponderings were based on the literal definition of "asexual" and also thinking that a community exists that is only, just fitting that exact definition of only that word...that it wouldn't concern other claimed community labels, as well...and so it just looks like I stuck a whole shoe store of feet in my mouth. My bad. I acknowledge and own the mistake. Apologies.

I'm sorry, I would have replied sooner to your earlier post but was busy. It's all good. I don't know if other people took it wrong, but as for me, it's all good. It happens to all of us, and your first post was simply putting an idea into words that could be assumed if you take asexual as a concept too literally. If this is a topic that interests you, I recommend you to browse through AVEN, both the educational sites as well as the forum, to get a better, wider picture of asexuality. Let me know if you have any questions.

 

[Dagan]

Cool, cool. I will do that. I have no problems reading and learning more.

 

[Au Naturel]

I had a wild sexual relationship with a "good" girl once. We did everything except have intercourse and orgasm, and it was a wonderful time for both of us. She wanted to save those for marriage, and I always respect a partner's preferences.

Once you realize that the destination isn't all that important and the trip itself is where 90% of the fun comes from, life becomes much easier.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

Lesson learned unfortunately I figure it's just something I have to make clear from the beginning or the start of a new relationship

 

[db05]

According to this study: Sexual Orientation in Autism Spectrum Disorder - PubMed ... almost 70% of autistics self-report as "non-heterosexual".

That can commonly be gay, but also asexual or other behaviors. Sometimes, even hyper-sexual. Many of us go through life either devoid of any sexual attention, or at the other extreme, overwhelmed by it but unable to connect with others outside of sex. Overall, that leads to a lack of the usual "Get married, have kids, live the dream" life most want - and on to different sexual identities.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

According to this study: Sexual Orientation in Autism Spectrum Disorder - PubMed ... almost 70% of autistics self-report as "non-heterosexual".

That can commonly be gay, but also asexual or other behaviors. Sometimes, even hyper-sexual. Many of us go through life either devoid of any sexual attention, or at the other extreme, overwhelmed by it but unable to connect with others outside of sex. Overall, that leads to a lack of the usual "Get married, have kids, live the dream" life most want - and on to different sexual identities.

But I assume that the majority of them still desire a relationship or a companionship with someone of the other sex even if sexual intercourse is not involved?

 

[Kayla55]

Cool, cool. I will do that. I have no problems reading and learning more.

I think you thread implies that you are reading your girlfriend's body language and are one of these men who is respectful.
It's being harassment for a-sexual types, from mockery of 40 year old virgin, to women who had to really go out there and educate people on not telling or forcing women. Some of us get married late and are happy in our own right, I think there should be virgins who reserve themselves for suitable marriage partner, assuming by time some men crawl out their shell that men haven't raised baskets til nothing left.
I appreciate respect that I am quiet and sensitive person who is better suited to a partner that is similar.
This was what define yourself was about

 

[Dagan]

That confuses me, sorry. Can you clarify? Let me know, if I need to better clarify anything, as well.

 

[Steelbookcollector217]

Yeah if I ever meet someone new, I figure I should bring it up very early on that physical intimacy is very important to me, and if we don't have it, then we would not be dating, we wouldn't have a relationship at all.

 

[Arsinoe]

I k

I wanted to ask, is it not unusual or not unheard of for a portion of people on the autism spectrum to be asexual?

Because I got out of a failed relationship a few months ago, the relationship was not entirely negative, here were the pros and cons of the relationship.

Positive part: when it came to the companionship and the mental and emotional support part or just being there for each other, hanging out, that was the good part of the relationship.

Negative part: my ex-girlfriend, she was not really comfortable with sex, or just doing anything further beyond kissing and making out.

Because of that, I feel that it wasn't a true relationship.

I also feel like I stayed with her longer than I should have but I was reluctant to break up with her for a while because I didn't want to become alone and Single Again, bigger reason and that is I didn't want to have to go through the drama or burden of having to put myself out there all over again.

She was also on the autism spectrum just like I am.

I wanted sex but she didn't.

Are a portion of people on the autism spectrum asexual?

A part of me is also thinking of the possibility that it's possible that she just wasn't ready.

I stayed with her longer than I believe I should have because I was hoping that she would eventually become comfortable or change her mind but unfortunately she didn't.

So overall is it not unusual and not unheard of for a portion of people on the autism spectrum to be asexual?

Yeah this failed relationship has been the main source of my anger and bitterness and resentment for the past few months and why I have made certain comments on this forum.

I know I am. Sex seems, at its best, unncessary and messy. At its worst, disgusting.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I was always repulsed at the idea of sex. I never sought it at all. I eventually met my future wife and we built our relationship on shared interests and spiritual leanings. When we considered marriage, I was anxious about "having" to do sex, but I figured I would try not to fret about it.
I was literally a 40 year old virgin when we married. She had 15 year old son, so clearly she was not.
It worked out fine, of course. 24 years later, she passed away. I am back to having no sexual interest in anyone.
Some people might call the foregoing asexual.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Weird relationship with sex

I have a weird relationship with sex. At times I enjoy sexual things and they seem perfectly natural and enjoyable. But at other times I can be repulsed by the idea and find the whole process weird and abnormal. I recently started dating a girl that I really like and I am worry that when I go...

www.autismforums.com

I reference above thread because it describes a guy perspective on being turned off due to thinking too much

Female a-sexual view: well half those cartoon/porn styles are degrading and half those positions and no way I'm going to do it.
Generalised female point: we get more headaches than men, not in the mood, ye if men had babies they'd also loose bit of sex drive n stop being unreasonable, of course don't feel like it.
Masking in sex: trying to dump boyfriend because I'm tired of doing things that I actually not interested but struggling to word this to him. A-sexual
Absolutely not relating to porn and will physically slap n leave if he tries to stick his finger there, again. I have difficulty removing condoms and French kissing die to germs. Ecoli is just really pushing mark, on renal dysfunction, seems lot of porn thinks they want this
Reaching puberty never affected my brain, but sexism did limit opportunities. No, I don't suffer severe PM's....generally affected by sensory more (a-sexual) having constricts to sex ways my symptoms for perimenopause are not hormonal disruptions and I object to any suggestion that all women have periods together in same boat.
Feeling akward and not spontaneous in bed, lacking sexuality and oh, yes, that's why he decided to put on porn, and at time difficult due to silence to find compatible partner. I think article that defines what's normal

I agree E coli can be nasty, See Walkerton fiasco here in Ontario a few years ago.

 

[Kayla55]

I agree E coli can be nasty, See Walkerton fiasco here in Ontario a few years ago.

I can't help myself....I sit at the braai and find it so hard to mask acting like typical female, as I'm now older and know where it's going. Small talk, giggles, even trying to fit into some of the lady tops is odd to me. I have trouble understanding myself as a primate who is preoccupied with reproduction. I was just chatting with lady psychologist to explain what bothers me, well I'm not spontaneous. At disco was a pole and girls climb on one another like rats for chances, I'm not spontaneous, I'm not even a good actress/copycat.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I watched a u-tube video a few days ago on how the hormone testosterone affects sex drive and even women have this hormone.

 

[Kayla55]

I watched a u-tube video a few days ago on how the hormone testosterone affects sex drive and even women have this hormone.

I watched a u-tube video a few days ago on how the hormone testosterone affects sex drive and even women have this hormone.

High concentrations of testosterone and oestrogen increase the chances of having a son, and high concentrations of progesterone and luteinising hormone favour girls. The general rule is: more testosterone in women, and it's boys, less testosterone in men and it's girls.

Women have presence of a lot....
milk is highest form protein to sustain life,

There was thread debating what hormones do do....and when you understand what is survival or evolution it's different from testosterone but many confuse roles of hormones.

Our friend has 3 sisters and they are creative family, each sister into their arts, my friend: drama, expression.
Many women tend to be more open to spiritual, yoga
I was like a blue fluid in a test tube, even men were more expressive, better writers....
As child I never planned my masking so I had more female friends then. When I got home my play changed, I took things apart to see how they worked.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

The video I watched was done by an endocrinologist.