Hi, am new to the forum. Am looking to share info with others and trying to figure out my son's diagnosis as well.
I have self-diagnosed myself an aspie- have most of the traits- but never have had difficulty with gross motor skills (for example). My father is a true aspie- has all the traits. The reason I self-diagnosed was due to my two older sons. My oldest did not speak until he was 3 years old and now at 7 has some obvious traits of asperger's, but not all- he is not diagnosed because he got in under the radar. My second child has ALL of the traits and is very much like my father- actually, in every way but one (language issues- which I will discuss below). We also have some possible cousins on my father's side of the family who have asperger's.
Looking back at my childhood I wished I had been diagnosed. Always alone- even in highschool- had no clue about people- had very low self-esteem- had no clue how to start or continue a conversation. Still a bit this way, on all counts, but have found ways to cope, somewhat (my husband is very people centered so this helps a LOT).
Per my son. Here's a short history.
My son was diagnosed at 3 with PDD-NOS- had all the traits (sensory integration, eye contact limitations, fine/gross motor difficulties, language delay/literal understanding/pragmatism, socially "inept," loves routine (but not obsessed with it) and has the usual obsessive interests, etc.) The thing though is since my son has started speaking (though still a delay and stutters) he has been very interested in people (wants to talk/interact with them, etc.) but of course has no clue how (no social boundaries, no sense of personal space, little eye contact at times, does not understand the turn-taking of conversations, etc.). He is in kindergarten (now 5) and still does parallel play with friends (though has told me again and again that he wants his friends to like him and wants to play with them but doesn't know how.)
I returned to see his psychologist about five months back- and to my utter shock- she said that she no longer believed that my son had PDD!!! She saw him for five minutes and because he could keep eye contact with me for longer than a minute and because he showed me his drawing, she thought that he didn't have PDD. I have worked obsessively with my son for years. Because we live in Quebec, where it is very difficult to find English programs for children with PDD, he has had no access to help for his PDD and very little for his language. I did everything I could to help him- I quit my job, took courses, opened a specialized daycare for children with special needs, learned as much as I could about PDD-Austism-Asperger's. I helped my son go from a non-talker, who was terrified of every sound and flashing light, who was obsessed with animals (could watch ants outside for hours), to a child who can now talk pretty well (though has some difficulty finding words and stutters), is more comfortable with sounds, has a few more interests and now at five years old has actually entered regular kindergarten class. My boy still has all of the traits of PDD- or asperger's- but he has learned to retain eye contact for longer periods of time and yes will share his work with me because he has achieved so much and is so proud of his achievements (I've had PDD children in my care do the same and I have also helped them with eye contact, speech, etc.).
The only problem is that (1) he so direly wants to have friends, which is "odd behaviour" the psychologist says for someone who is autistic- it would make more sense if he had asperger's, but my boy does not have the vocabulary expected of an aspie. Now I do- I studied English Literature in University with great success, even achieving my masters degree- and am a writer. And my father is VERY well-spoken- to the point of annoyance when he's learned a new word.
So after all that babbling- maybe someone here can shed some light on this- maybe from your experience. I'm tired of reading about what the experts say- I want to know what people have seen or experienced themselves. Are any of you aspies with language delay/stutters or maybe high-functioning autism with language delays/stutter?
Maybe there is something in what I wrote that touches you in some way? I really need to hear some feedback from those who live the life of an aspie instead of reading experts talk about what they perceive are aspies- and since I'm only self-diagnosed, I'm still very unsure of where I stand (I know that sounds weird) but when I found out about PDD-asperger's, my childhood made so much sense- I realized that I wasn't stupid but that I had a problem reading people/understanding them.
I honestly feel like a failure for my son right now- how can I help him if I can't even understand what is going on with him. Is he an aspie with a language delay (but from what I've read that doesn't exist) or is he PDD-NOS but is able to keep eye contact, actually wants to have friends and is willing to share his work (which the psychologist said is impossible a child with PDD).
A confused mother.
I have self-diagnosed myself an aspie- have most of the traits- but never have had difficulty with gross motor skills (for example). My father is a true aspie- has all the traits. The reason I self-diagnosed was due to my two older sons. My oldest did not speak until he was 3 years old and now at 7 has some obvious traits of asperger's, but not all- he is not diagnosed because he got in under the radar. My second child has ALL of the traits and is very much like my father- actually, in every way but one (language issues- which I will discuss below). We also have some possible cousins on my father's side of the family who have asperger's.
Looking back at my childhood I wished I had been diagnosed. Always alone- even in highschool- had no clue about people- had very low self-esteem- had no clue how to start or continue a conversation. Still a bit this way, on all counts, but have found ways to cope, somewhat (my husband is very people centered so this helps a LOT).
Per my son. Here's a short history.
My son was diagnosed at 3 with PDD-NOS- had all the traits (sensory integration, eye contact limitations, fine/gross motor difficulties, language delay/literal understanding/pragmatism, socially "inept," loves routine (but not obsessed with it) and has the usual obsessive interests, etc.) The thing though is since my son has started speaking (though still a delay and stutters) he has been very interested in people (wants to talk/interact with them, etc.) but of course has no clue how (no social boundaries, no sense of personal space, little eye contact at times, does not understand the turn-taking of conversations, etc.). He is in kindergarten (now 5) and still does parallel play with friends (though has told me again and again that he wants his friends to like him and wants to play with them but doesn't know how.)
I returned to see his psychologist about five months back- and to my utter shock- she said that she no longer believed that my son had PDD!!! She saw him for five minutes and because he could keep eye contact with me for longer than a minute and because he showed me his drawing, she thought that he didn't have PDD. I have worked obsessively with my son for years. Because we live in Quebec, where it is very difficult to find English programs for children with PDD, he has had no access to help for his PDD and very little for his language. I did everything I could to help him- I quit my job, took courses, opened a specialized daycare for children with special needs, learned as much as I could about PDD-Austism-Asperger's. I helped my son go from a non-talker, who was terrified of every sound and flashing light, who was obsessed with animals (could watch ants outside for hours), to a child who can now talk pretty well (though has some difficulty finding words and stutters), is more comfortable with sounds, has a few more interests and now at five years old has actually entered regular kindergarten class. My boy still has all of the traits of PDD- or asperger's- but he has learned to retain eye contact for longer periods of time and yes will share his work with me because he has achieved so much and is so proud of his achievements (I've had PDD children in my care do the same and I have also helped them with eye contact, speech, etc.).
The only problem is that (1) he so direly wants to have friends, which is "odd behaviour" the psychologist says for someone who is autistic- it would make more sense if he had asperger's, but my boy does not have the vocabulary expected of an aspie. Now I do- I studied English Literature in University with great success, even achieving my masters degree- and am a writer. And my father is VERY well-spoken- to the point of annoyance when he's learned a new word.
So after all that babbling- maybe someone here can shed some light on this- maybe from your experience. I'm tired of reading about what the experts say- I want to know what people have seen or experienced themselves. Are any of you aspies with language delay/stutters or maybe high-functioning autism with language delays/stutter?
Maybe there is something in what I wrote that touches you in some way? I really need to hear some feedback from those who live the life of an aspie instead of reading experts talk about what they perceive are aspies- and since I'm only self-diagnosed, I'm still very unsure of where I stand (I know that sounds weird) but when I found out about PDD-asperger's, my childhood made so much sense- I realized that I wasn't stupid but that I had a problem reading people/understanding them.
I honestly feel like a failure for my son right now- how can I help him if I can't even understand what is going on with him. Is he an aspie with a language delay (but from what I've read that doesn't exist) or is he PDD-NOS but is able to keep eye contact, actually wants to have friends and is willing to share his work (which the psychologist said is impossible a child with PDD).
A confused mother.
