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Another Attempt to Join a Forum

Crossbreed said:
Hello & welcome.

I hafta ask:
  1. Is Benjamin Dover your real name, or a clever screen name?
  2. If the latter, may we call you Ben...? ;)
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I answered this one earlier. I could never, ever, EVER use my real name here. All I'd need is for someone to find it, like a potential employer, and it would be OVER for me. It's bad enough that I'm unprotected AND considered THE most evil type of human being. That is, a straight white male. I hear over and over that I am the problem, and that I must be dealt with, and I hear it from people I've historically backed. That's what I get. That's social stuff, bleeding into occupational stuff, then spilling into political stuff, so this thought should probably stop here.
 
Benjamin Dover said:
I'm fairly certain that this is how I appear to others.
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I rated your post ‘friendly’ because you answered the question (you didn’t ignore it).
Anyway, Pan’s Labyrinth is one of the greatest, most perfect movies I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately, exactly because of that, I couldn’t watch it again (it stirred up too many strong emotions). Do you usually stir up strong emotions in people on purpose? Are you an artist?
 
Sabrina said:
Do you enjoy stirring up strong emotions in people? Are you an artist?
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I had no idea that it would have that affect on anyone. I'll consider changing it.

I am an artist, although hesitant to say what kind. I'm afraid of accidentally identifying myself over time.
 
Benjamin Dover said:
I had no idea that it would have that affect on anyone. I'll consider changing it.

I am an artist, although hesitant to say what kind. I'm afraid of accidentally identifying myself over time.
Click to expand...

The vast majority of people here interact behind a mask. My avatar is not me, it’s Cosima, the scientist clon from the series Orphan Black. Sabrina is just a name I like. Nevertheless, I am more my real self in this virtual forum, than I am in “real” life.
 
While I can be open about my issues, since it's the reason I'm here, I find it to be too dangerous and risky to be myself online. The internet used to be fun. Now, it's full of horrors, so I have to keep my guard up at all times.

Make one wrong mistake, and a brigade of people will come down and make sure they destroy your life. Look at me: I couldn't even create a profile properly on here without having to make a change to it. For me, mistakes aren't fun little moments where I can learn. Instead, they are the true difference between life-as-usual and punishment and suffering.

I'm not a member of any protected class, and am the most hated, reviled, untrusted, and demonized type of person on the planet today.
 
If you stay here for a while you will see your own words and feelings written by somebody else sooner or later.

You are in the forum where there are threads about preparing for doomsday, survival skills, obsessions about the end of the world, living away from society, physical self defense, anxiety over the possibility of being abused by others, as well as PTSD, where people go through panic attacks and meltdowns, etc. I think most of us have been the target of bullying or abuse in one way or another.

That’s the reason why you will seldom see real names here. Some people don’t even disclose age or gender.

Did you create a specific email for this account? If not, you should. Also, don’t use Google or any of the major email outlets. This one is an option, which allows you to have encrypted email Secure email: ProtonMail is free encrypted email. .
 
Why do you feel as if people are trying to ruin you? Is it your politics? The fact your a member of a majority? Or something else? Sometimes we have a tendency to turn towards persecutory beliefs as a coping mechanism for problems that we have that we cant understand, especially people on the spectrum. Ive had beliefs something like what you describe before but Ive learned to surpress them over time. It may be possible people get a sense you are on guard and suspicious, and as a result they fear you, and retaliate.
 
I don't generally feel that people are trying to ruin me. I've had several experiences where they actually have ruined me.

I'm in a "majority," and yet I am not. Straight, white, male, and do not have a belief in gods. I'll leave it to the reader to figure out which is majority and which is not.

These are attributes about myself that I cannot change. They get in the way with little things, like finding a new job.

I don't really want to talk about that too much, as I can imagine someone coming down on me for being "the poor victim," while reminding me of my "privilege," whatever that might be. I don't really want to go there, at all. There are too many horrible, cruel people online, and the internet is no longer fun.
 
Benjamin Dover said:
I don't generally feel that people are trying to ruin me. I've had several experiences where they actually have ruined me.

I'm in a "majority," and yet I am not. Straight, white, male, and do not have a belief in gods. I'll leave it to the reader to figure out which is majority and which is not.

These are attributes about myself that I cannot change. They get in the way with little things, like finding a new job.

I don't really want to talk about that too much, as I can imagine someone coming down on me for being "the poor victim," while reminding me of my "privilege," whatever that might be. I don't really want to go there, at all. There are too many horrible, cruel people online, and the internet is no longer fun.
Click to expand...
This thread is about breaking stereotypes https://www.autismforums.com/threads/im-____-but-im-not-__
 
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