An impossible question...

[Cosmophylla]

Absolutely nothin'.

What is the sound of one child fighting?

 

[Flinty]

A kung fu lesson.

Where do the patriotic Canadians hang out?

 

[metalminx24]

From a sixth - storey window.

How many moles would one need to dig over the garden?

 

[tree]

I don't know.
The ones with which I am acquainted
generally do most of their
digging under.

Where is next week?

 

[Flinty]

Wherever the last person Mike Tyson got mad at is.

How did everyone get through the supermoon without mentioning any Kardashians?

 

[tree]

I don't know what everybody else did, but
I was asleep that night and the sky was cloudy
here. I am more familiar with Cardassians than
Kardashians, anyway.

Will I go blind, like my mother?

 

[Myway]

I don't know. Maybe or maybe not.

Do you think I will ever go deaf?

 

[tree]

There is a possibility of your hearing diminishing
as you get older.

What are the odds any fire ants are thinking about
the "I love Lucy" show right now?

 

[DC1346]

About the same as my finding true love while also winning the largest lotto drawing in recorded history.

What is the meaning of life?

 

[tree]

One approximation:
https://books.google.com/books?id=y...life a magazine how much does it cost&f=false

If nobody died, what would we eat?

 

[DC1346]

If nobody died, what would we eat?

Each other.

I think you would be tasty if you were first marinated in red wine with thyme, onions, garlic, and mushrooms.

How would you like to be cooked?

 

[tree]

So if nobody died, culinary arts would include
a semester or two of vivisection, because the
proposed cannibalization would be taking place
on living humans.

I would not like to be cooked, thank you for asking.
-------------------------
How old is tomorrow?

 

[DC1346]

Dum-de-dum-de-dum hummed the Mad chef as he ground black pepper over Tree's head as he sat simmering in a cauldron of red wine with bay leaves and mirepoix.

"If you can't die, what will happen after I turn you into a tasty stew?" he asked as he ladled some sauce over Tree's head "Let's find out!"

How old is tomorrow? Not as old as today.

If a zombie and a vampire were to get married, what physical traits or powers would their children have?

 

[Myway]

I have no earthly idea. A lot of really bad things would happen though.

What time would you assume that someone would come knocking at your door wanting you to sign a petition for the community?

 

[DC1346]

If you are a reclusive introvert, ANY time is still bad time.

If hot air rises, why don't politicians throughout the world float in the air?

 

[Myway]

Because their air isn't hot enough yet.

If you were to have one wish, what would it be?

 

[Flinty]

To have one dollar less than one who would be called ostentatiously rich.

How can I get a job playing in the NBA?

 

[Myway]

I don't think you could unless you play team sports really well.

Why does the moon go around the earth?

 

[Flinty]

Because the earth is much larger and heavier than the moon.

What do those dark clouds mean over there?

 

[Myway]

It might rain or storm.

Why do some people have pets and others not?