Accident Anniversary, Total Fail

[OkRad]

I woke up so vulnerable. So I was CERTAIN I was going to tell people I am grateful to be here .

Everywhere I went, total FAIL.

Gym- Curt HELLO by staff, even the ones who are kind to me. Left. Went to other gym.

Went to other places and tried to interact, tried to find ONE KIND SOUL. None. Not one. I hate that. I so needed it today.

Then went to brother and nephew. Nephew yelled at me to get away from the TV and he is always NICE TO ME!

Went to a few other places and it was like the universe was telling me I am not wanted in this place.

So I left brother in tears,

Came on here.

Saw one of my post was "winner" and you know what?? That made my day. It made me feel like something I did was good.

Thank you guys for being here.

 

[Warmheart]

*You* are good. And full of positive qualities within you. You are welcome here.

 

[midlife aspie]

Perhaps a change of perspective is needed. Maybe think of these 'unkind' people as being clueless as to what kindness is, and become one of their teachers on their road to enlightenment. In other words, show them how it is done!

 

[Full Steam]

I actually think you are one of the stand out posters on here.

You have some great insights, and great writing style.

I'm no flatterer by the way, I just say what I see.

 

[Suzanne]

I am in shock, OkRad, and the reason is because the amount of times this has happened to me!

I know that I am married, but I remember well, when I wasn't and on a daily basis, woke up feeling vunerable and the "whole world" seem to say: you are a nobody, so go and kill yourself!

It is AWFUL to feel confirmation that you are a nobody.

Anyway, YOU ARE AMAZING!

I believe it is called: self distructive, because it is like we "welcome" insults, to afferm our sense of disgust for ourselves. At least that is how I feel anyway.

I still struggle with my identity; but am a lot better.

There was a time that I felt sorry if someone sat next to me on a bus or even if waiting to cross the road, I went into surreal mode and wanted to APOLOGISE to the one who was unfortunate enough to stand next to me. I would be in SHOCK when I got a job and would wonder what on earth it was about me that caused others to like me?

Sometimes now, I have to force myself to show sympathy to another, because in side I am thinking: do they really want YOU to be there, comforting them? YOu are just plain stupid Suzanne, who the heck would feel built up by you?

It took me years to accept that I am married and even now, I feel fascinated when my husband says: my wife and me or something!

I also remember suffering extreme low self worth, as a child and seeing therapists, who just said that I did not rate myself very high.

So, right from an infant, I sensed a disgust with myself.

I GET YOU SO MUCH.

 

[Liam Sifr]

I woke up so vulnerable. So I was CERTAIN I was going to tell people I am grateful to be here .

Everywhere I went, total FAIL.

Gym- Curt HELLO by staff, even the ones who are kind to me. Left. Went to other gym.

Went to other places and tried to interact, tried to find ONE KIND SOUL. None. Not one. I hate that. I so needed it today.

Then went to brother and nephew. Nephew yelled at me to get away from the TV and he is always NICE TO ME!

Went to a few other places and it was like the universe was telling me I am not wanted in this place.

So I left brother in tears,

Came on here.

Saw one of my post was "winner" and you know what?? That made my day. It made me feel like something I did was good.

Thank you guys for being here.

Hey Rad. You're an okay (and even beyond) individual and no one should tell you otherwise. Just because you need help with some aspects of your life does not make you any less of a person. We love you.

 

[OkRad]

I am so amazed at how much people on here understand each other. It really is a great source of comfort and I know I am not the only one who feels it.

The world is a harsh place. When I get my Medical ID, I swear I am just about to put in there:

"NON VERBAL-------BUT ONLY TO NT's!!!!"

 

[Southern Discomfort]

Sorry you've had to deal with that crap. It could be that they've had their own reasons to move on or they've got other things going on in their lives to make they feel negative. It hurts when they decide to take it out on you, try to push through it.

 

[Full Steam]

People are just so wrapped in their own worlds plans and problems they can appear uncaring. I don't believe most are though.

They are just, primarily, self absorbed.