A couple questions from an NT

[somebeach]

I am an NT and have been conversing with someone that has told me they have been diagnosed as an AS. We have much in common and have been conversing for a little while now. We have decided to see where this may lead us in the future. We speak about everything and nothing is out of bounds to this point. Since I have never met this individual in person I am struggling a little. I am trying to learn about AS and am very confused by some behavior and differentiating it from other behavior. I have been reading about AS but I am a visual person and it helps for me to see things more than read about it. I am not trying to put all AS individuals in one category nor am I trying to offend anyone. I was just wondering if Sherlock Holmes on the TV show Elementary is considered to be playing someone with AS? Are there any other characters on TV that do that? perhaps Sheldon on the big bang theory? Can anyone guide me to a site that I may observe AS behavior so I can better understand it. I realize each individual is different. I was also wondering since most people have issues for example I have ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder) do AS individuals want to learn about them just as they ask an NT to learn about their AS to understand them better so as not to offend or hurt them as well? Is there a desire on the part of a AS to learn different behavior if possible even if makes the other person in the relationship happy but makes no sense to them? For example showing affection, learning when the other person is making a joke or is funny, or learning to try and please the other person during sex? When we discuss the subject of sex or making love it is explained to me as being very mechanical and lacking emotion. Also does an AS know that certain behaviors of theirs usually cause issues for them such as making a comment on a forum or in a chat room that may be construed by NT's as offensive and they are blocked or asked to leave? Can they learn when and when not to do this behavior so it saves them from added angst? Are AS individuals angry or upset that NT's are on this forum?
Thank you for the help

 

[Dragon's Tooth]

I think personally the best example of an aspie in tv land is Dr Brennan from Bones. She is pretty much an aspie to a T in my opinion though they make up excuses for her behaviour in the show (she's highly rational from loosing her parents at a young age for instance). She is pretty much oblivious to social interaction, is not an outgoing person so to speak, doesn't tend to notice when she gets it wrong socially and has a support team of friends who correct her and set her on the right path (the interpretors that aspies often need to get through this world). She's highly intelligent, obsessed with her own interests and forms very strong social bonds with only a few people. Typical aspie behaviour.

Sheldon doesn't strike me as an aspie but he has a bunch of things going on.

Sherlock from elementary I half wondered if he was aspie based but I think they are trying to go more schizophrenic with him. Just my take. Sherlock is very out going and most aspie's aren't like that. He's not afraid to get in someone's face if need be and that's not really an aspie thing. He's out going he just finds the human race boring. This character has a few traits you would mistake for aspieness but I think its because the character just doesn't care about social interaction, not that he can't socially interact normally, unlike dr brennan who appears to be unable to socially interact appropriately rather than not caring.

Aspies can't process social interaction like an NT would. For most people social interaction is instantaneous and instinctive. Aspies have to think about it so we find the internet a bit easier because you have to think about everything first. The fact that we are often seen as rude and aloof by people means that our limited social skills can be attacked by an NT who would mistake lack of emotions or visible queues as being an attack on them or something.

Basically imagine if saying hello to someone was the scariest thing in the world. That's pretty much what we face every day.

 

[somebeach]

Thank you very much for taking the time to respond. Your response helped me out greatly in order to understand things and I will watch the show you mentioned. I appreciate you being so thorough in your response.

 

[Dragon's Tooth]

No worries. Those shows you listed are on my regular watch list

 

[Aspieistj]

If you can find the show, "Doc Martin" on PBS you will see another example of an Aspie, albeit an exaggeration for the sake of viewer amusement.

 

[Ereth]

I was just wondering if Sherlock Holmes on the TV show Elementary is considered to be playing someone with AS? Are there any other characters on TV that do that? perhaps Sheldon on the big bang theory?

I can't say for certain that Elementary's take on Sherlock is definitively Aspie. I think he could be. But Sherlock's Holmes is probably an even stronger candidate. I think Sherlock Holmes as a character in general is possibly autistic, although when Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote, autism wasn't in the medical literature at the time (at least not defined as it is today).

Regrettably, I haven't seen The Big Bang Theory yet, though I hope to remedy this sometime.

I also think Abby Sciuto of NCIS could possibly be on the spectrum; she's very emotional, but also intensely logical about her work. She tends to ramble sometimes in conversations.

(A disclaimer: I do not know or claim to know if these characters were intended to be Aspies. They just appear that way to me, knowing what I now know about myself.)

Instead of relying on television and other media, however, I recommend talking to real people on the autism spectrum (like you're doing now ) and asking them what they're like. Mass-media portrayals of people with disabilities are often streamlined and romanticized, so they aren't going to be the best source of information if you really want to learn about people with autism (or anything else).

Can anyone guide me to a site that I may observe AS behavior so I can better understand it. I realize each individual is different. I was also wondering since most people have issues for example I have ptsd (post traumatic stress disorder) do AS individuals want to learn about them just as they ask an NT to learn about their AS to understand them better so as not to offend or hurt them as well? Is there a desire on the part of a AS to learn different behavior if possible even if makes the other person in the relationship happy but makes no sense to them? For example showing affection, learning when the other person is making a joke or is funny, or learning to try and please the other person during sex?

We certainly do want to learn about other people---not specifically just because we have autism and they may not, but because we're all human and we like to learn about each other. And I've had to ask friends to tell me when they're joking in case I take them too seriously.

When we discuss the subject of sex or making love it is explained to me as being very mechanical and lacking emotion.

This is true for some people on the spectrum, but not all.

Also does an AS know that certain behaviors of theirs usually cause issues for them such as making a comment on a forum or in a chat room that may be construed by NT's as offensive and they are blocked or asked to leave? Can they learn when and when not to do this behavior so it saves them from added angst?

Yes, we know. (It's happened to me.) And we do try to learn.

Are AS individuals angry or upset that NT's are on this forum?
Thank you for the help

Though I am new here, I've seen no evidence of any resentment thus far. I certainly don't mind if you're here. We're all part of the same community!

 

[Judge]

Yes- it can be very confusing for good reason. One thing worth bearing in mind is that having Aspergers Syndrome does not mean everyone who has it has an identical set of behavioral traits manifested with the same amplitude. We don't. Anyone who sticks around on this site will come to understand it.

It's a true spectrum of behaviors- not just a static series of them. There are behaviors we can mimic, and there are some we might even master. And others that elude us for our lifetimes that Neurotypicals never let us forget. Yes, it's complicated.

 

[Arashi222]

On this site we don't resent having NT's come here because Its meant for those that want to learn about AS and other Autism spectrum disorders as well as have it. If you want to watch real Aspies to learn more about them there are few on Youtube...like our lovely Dizzy or just type in adults with Aspergers and you will find a few to watch. We are all different. I agree with Ereth in my professional opinion ( I have a degree in Clinical Social Work) Abby from NCIS is an Aspie but she has support and people who like her..I tend to be like this kind of Aspie...I am overly emotionally and hyper sensetive to others moods and feelings even when I don't understand them. Or in an example the other night I was at work and a customer was being totally serious and I kept thinking i need my mom right now to clamp my mouth shut...I wanted to laugh and it was soo inappropriate to do so. Luckily i had people there that night who know and support me. We are different in how AS affects us. Some of us like me are much more emotional, some are much less emotional in that they don't connect to emotions in the same way they are usually hyposenstive to emotions. Most of us either have what I call rolling obsessions or special interests (like they don't stay static) or those that have one or two things they are specifically interested in to the exclusion of all else. I would rather have people ask about it and learn than make assumptions...and yes we do like to try to not hurt other people and learn about them but its hard because things that are usually socially instinctive are not for us.

 

[ifightdragons]

I think personally the best example of an aspie in tv land is Dr Brennan from Bones. She is pretty much an aspie to a T in my opinion though they make up excuses for her behaviour in the show (she's highly rational from loosing her parents at a young age for instance). She is pretty much oblivious to social interaction, is not an outgoing person so to speak, doesn't tend to notice when she gets it wrong socially and has a support team of friends who correct her and set her on the right path (the interpretors that aspies often need to get through this world). She's highly intelligent, obsessed with her own interests and forms very strong social bonds with only a few people. Typical aspie behaviour.

Sheldon doesn't strike me as an aspie but he has a bunch of things going on.

Sherlock from elementary I half wondered if he was aspie based but I think they are trying to go more schizophrenic with him. Just my take. Sherlock is very out going and most aspie's aren't like that. He's not afraid to get in someone's face if need be and that's not really an aspie thing. He's out going he just finds the human race boring. This character has a few traits you would mistake for aspieness but I think its because the character just doesn't care about social interaction, not that he can't socially interact normally, unlike dr brennan who appears to be unable to socially interact appropriately rather than not caring.

The obvious one would be to watch Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm. Or just any interview with him. He is quite intelligent and highly functioning though.

But another one - that not very many outside of Europe seem to know about - is one brilliant British actor, Steve Coogan. His characters Alan Partridge and Saxondale (on shows with the same names, respectively), portrays people with Aspergers, mixed with a good dose of OCD and other features. They're also highly intelligent, but slightly more socially inept. I highly recommend these shows, not only for edutainment (don't really like that word, but hey) on Aspies. Besides, they're funny as hell and not too many episodes were made. If your favorite shows are shows like Big Bang Theory though, this might not be broad enough.

Hope you have a roddy good time!