Life is so strange and good sometimes
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My biggest wish is to not be an emotional burden on anyone. I want to be liked and than forgotten
Life got so much easier when i started to stop chasing some grand happiness ideal and just stay in this moment. And allow myself to feel good over silly little stuff
I know i need to meet new friends irl, but i can't find anyone i can connect with and making plans with people i have to mask around is such a hassle.
My wish to be genuine vs. My wish to not bother people.
So i ended up messaging my ex bff whom ghosted me two years ago. She will prob.not even respond to me.
The friend i had a fight with called me today. I was not expecting it. I am going to meet her now, i hope everything goes well
Cleaning and decluttering day!
I fell asleep in the office yesterday. I am too exhausted
I messaged my friend i had a fight with. She messaged me a few days ago, i was not expecting her to ever contact me again
I still miss my ex best friend and our silly anime talks sometimes. *sigh*
I am kind of sad i wasted my vacation with needless depression and anxiety thanks to the fight i had with my friend. Tomorrow i return to work and i don't feel relaxed at all.
Talking with my autistic friend is like a breath of fresh air.
In other news i might quit my job on Monday. I want to consult my therapist first but my appointment is two weeks later
An old friend has messaged me and we decided to meet. Maybe this is a sign for me to drop the mask and act more like myself with new people.
So after the fight with my friend i am healing day by day. I still don't know how to be honest with someone since people are scary but from now on i dont want to mask too much with people.
I woke up feeling better today. The nausea and heavy feeling in my chest went away.
Thinking again, i think part of my friendships all falling apart is bc i am always masking and making so much effort to not appear disabled or abnormal. Sooner or later everything falls apart
My friend and i had a fight on our vacation and we returned early. I am freaking out since she is my only friend but i dont want to be a doormat who cannot speak her mind either.
Anxiety nausea and shame. Story of my life
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