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What is this feeling

Sometimes theres a feeling deep inside of me, a feeling that no matter what i cant get out. Its like a build up of something tbh i cant even really fully explain it myself. But what comes to mind that would potentially give me relief seems violent to me.

I want to scream. I want to pound my fist against the walls; my desk. I didn't do that but tightly curling my fingers and not making a complete fist released some of the ....tension? It's kind of weird.

Had me thinking where did i learn to be so passive. Like why do i keep everything inside? weird. maybe it was beaten or yelled out of me as a child. sigh. i digress

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JoyChaos
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