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The next day

So I wrote a blog entry for the first time yesterday and I feel terrible about it. Actually I feel terrible about everything. Depression has set in on the eve of going back to work after I wrote such a glowing review of my current position. How will I get through the day? I know you can call in sick for a depressive episode but my job has no back up for my position right now, they would be snowed. Can I get through this?

I'm not as shiny and happy as I can appear to be in the forums here or in real life with my flower imagery.
Trying to put an upswing on everything. In real life I'm pretty negative. My caretaker has to deal with it. I bring my mask down with her and only her. I feel sorry for her.

I'd like to try to keep writing a blog entry a day until it feels normal. Can my mood swings ever even out so that I'm not high off of one person's comment or low off another post's empty echo chamber.

Comments

330
this sounds like me as well,I think I get trapped onto my own black and white thinking often . Things are either really good or really bad .
Once I am in the negative mindset feels like drowning,I keep swimming up to catch my breath and that feels good and I positive until I go back down again.
Wish I could be happy with in the grey area sometimes .
 
midlifeiris
I did not mean to react to your comment as being funny!! I was going to press agree. Sometimes this computer has a mind of its own.
 
330
midlifeiris said:
I did not mean to react to your comment as being funny!! I was going to press agree. Sometimes this computer has a mind of its own.
Click to expand...
I understand, and even if you did find it funny , I would be fine with that because sometimes I laugh at my life sometimes.

Story - my occupation , I drive 18 wheeler truck. The other night we had thunder storms rolling in . I got to work and hooked up to a trailer , it started to thunder and lightning really bad . So I sat In the truck for 10 min waiting to see if any rain followed . Finally decided to back up to the loading dock . Backup to dock put parking brake on and got out so I can open up the trailer doors . Opened one door ,all of the sudden huge rain and hail come down like a waterfall , I have another door to open , I have no where to go for cover so I just finish opening the other door walk back to the truck getting an unwanted shower , cursing during my rain stroll .
I get back in the truck looks like I jumped in a lake . I look on my seat staring at my rain poncho that I forgot to wear.
Put the poncho on which is pointless now ….. back truck into the dock . Walk into the building, as soon as I walk into the building the rain completely stops .
I just started laughing and honestly had enough for one day .
This is my luck . I hope this made you laugh . I hope you are feeling better .
 

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midlifeiris
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