-
Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.
Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:- Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
- Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
- Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
- Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.
We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral
Blog entries by Xinyta
I have found that hate has twisted my veiw on alot of things. It all starts with my hatred of my Stepmother. It ends with me hating just about everything else.
The core of it is mother issues. Never having a good one, let alone having one orginally in my life.
My Dad was and is absentee...
I think I've found a sense of drive that holds me looking forward. Or at least has me looking up.
Even though I missed a large portion of it. I watched the episodic documentary 'The Last Dance'. It's all about Michael Jordan and his journey to becoming the legend, being the legend, and...
I am really beginning to wonder why I eat.
And no. I am not unaware that I, or anyone, eats to survive and stay strong. It's not about that.
It has to do with this psychological mindset I have been at battle with to overcome. I eat like I haven't eaten in weeks, months, or years. Not that I...
For a very long time, I have felt trapped by the situation I was in growing up. But the truth is, I wasn't as trapped as I made myself believe. The only real trap was the lies I told myself. That I am in a hopeless situation. My stepmother despised me. My father never was around as much as I...
I've come to a realization about myself. A very... disturbing realization.
I have decided that ever since I was 12 years old, that I shouldn't care anymore. I shut off my emotions, my personality, and my own capability to pay attention. Both my Uncle and me have agreed that it had something to...
I am growing tired of, even find annoyance, with videogames. Not because I just flipped a switch and just started hating them. It's a more personal reason. Videogames have consumed my whole life or at least what little life I had through existing.
I've noticed that all my mind wants to think...
"When we withhold trust out of fear or cynicism, we starve our humanity."
This sentence holds alot of meaning to me. Fear is the core of what plagues my very mind and heart. Fear that was seeded from my parent's upbringing and the fact that I at no point in my life questioned any of it till...
Tonight has been a big one for me. Not because of an event or someone visiting.
Tonight is a big night because I am facing what I internally have feared for a long time. Failure. Or more specifically perpetual failure. Constantly expecting myself to fail somehow and avoiding to try entirely to...
Honestly. I see alot of mixed beliefs with religion and God, heaven and the like. Good on everyone for having the views you do. Mine are... not as cut and dry. Though I'll try to shorten my thoughts as much as possible. No sense writing a novel to get across info.
I have stated a few things...
Life is finite.
A flash in the overall universe,
Yet it's a journey.
We despise it,
Yet we must face adversity.
In crossroads are we tested.
In crossroads are we forced to face our demons.
Pressure refines the soul,
Like a diamond after ages of earthly formation.
Our truest selves are revealed...
I am feeling less and less motivated with each passing day. Less and less desire to try anymore. Maybe I've been trying too hard to be what I'm not. Or maybe I am not trying hard enough to break the mindset I've overwhelming been in for 27 years.
I always feel like I never do enough. Even when...
Let's talk about what I have been thinking about.
But first, some music that has had inspired my thought process:
I have noticed that since my moving to my Uncle's house. I have been on a journey. Already ran into many crossroads that have challenged me and have changed my perspective on...
I am happy to say this trip was good for me for two reasons.
1. I get to see a new place in the USA.
2. I get to indirectly address my psychological hangups through observation and new perspective.
As far as the first one. I really have never been outside my own state too much. Missouri and...
I had a long talk with my uncle last night about issues that have been happening on the constant for as long as I have been alive. The biggest question is who I am as a person. I don't have an answer on any level for that. I somehow coasted through life not paying much attention to nearly...
I had an epiphany today about my own actions and behavior that reflected how I present myself. While I know there is always going to be a kid inside us. This was more immature behavior. Not wanting to face reality as far as life. Wanting to hide away. And I think I disliked myself, not for any...