Where you convinced the diagnostic was going to be negative, but ended positive?

[Suzanne]

It is getting closer to me receiving a diagnosis, but I am convinced they are going to say I have not got aspergers.

The thing is, when ever I am convinced it is going to be negative, it ends up being that.

Aspergers is like opening the door to the inner me. So many things make sense now.

 

[Judge]

Aspergers is like opening the door to the inner me. So many things make sense now.

Indeed. But perhaps what you really need to ask yourself is whether or not a legitimate medical opinion would change what you already know in your heart and mind.

It never fails to impress and amaze me as to how many people here contemplate their own autism long before validating it through a professional diagnosis. That they knew it long before any doctor confirmed or denied it.

That in the final analysis, it will always be what YOU think that counts the most. And above perhaps all other places, it's not something you need to convince this particular online audience of.

We get you, and always have.

 

[Pats]

Suzanne. IF that's the case - remember it's still ultimately based on their opinions and objectives. If aspergers makes everything in your life finally make sense, then trust your own feelings. You know you better than anyone. Only you knows what exactly you are feeling and what's going on inside of you.
I will be surprised if it comes back negative, but IF it does, just remember that no one can truly make a diagnosis on what they see when your insides are different than what they are seeing.

 

[GrownupGirl]

I had no idea I had Asperger's and knew virtually nothing about it until my mother came to me while I was in the hospital and told me. The psychiatrist she had been just talking to had wanted to lie to me and keep my diagnosis a secret, but my mom knew better. I had thought the hospital staff were doing nothing but keeping me locked up and treating like a prisoner because they thought I was a danger to myself and others and didn't care if I lived or died.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Yes, I was doubtful about my diagnosis, but then that's because when the counselor told me he was sure I was on the spectrum, he also said that I'm so high functioning that I might not be diagnosable.

Going through the diagnosis process, he started asking questions and I found myself wanting to give the "right" answers and searching for experiences to justify why I fit certain criteria. That began to feel uncomfortable, so in the next session, I told him so and explained that I'm going to try to answer as factually as possible and just let the diagnosis happen or not happen (Link this to the "How Honest Are You" thread).

Some of the questions were hard to answer. "Do you have a black-and-white style of thinking?" Well, aren't some things truly black-and-white (e.g. "murder is wrong")? And how would I know if I think some things are black-and-white when they actually aren't?

As much as I tried to be impartial, I was still relieved to be formally diagnosed.

 

[DystopianDream]

To be honest, I had no idea one way or the other when I went for the testing. I didn't know a whole lot about Asperger's, so I didn't know what to expect. When I was finally diagnosed and they explained what the diagnosis entailed, it was a relief because it explained why I am the way I am, and that I'm actually not the weirdo that people liked to tell me that I was.

 

[patrick183]

I was diagnosed today (high functioning autism), and was similarly minded as you beforehand. Deep down I was pretty sure I had aspergers but not severe, but I was convinced the results would say that I didn't have aspergers. I worried I'd have to defend myself and argue. The diagnosis ended up being what I expected: on the spectrum, but low severity, meaning I don't really need help -- I'm now 36 and doing OK. (though as I kid, I certainly could have used some). If the diagnosis isn't what you expect, I would ask what process was used to arrive at the conclusion. And all these views about yourself and challenges unique to yourself: if it's not high functioning autism, the neuropsychologist should offer some opinion on this. I was pleasantly surprised that my neuropsychologist also picked up on something I struggle with, that is probably unrelated to autism. But it is something that really holds me back and that I need to work on.

So it should be a conversation and help you understand you, even if it is not what you expect. And if what they say about you doesn't sound like you, then something is not right. My therapist told me that if this happened, I should explicitly say that it doesn't sound like me.

I would try hard *not* to think about it much until you get your results. I purposely distracted myself with other things the past few days, and somehow managed not to obsess over it.