Toxic relationships at work

[EKnuppel81]

There are some people I work with where the relationship has just become completely toxic. Being an Aspie I naturally gravitate towards “nice” people, and tend to shut out people who’ve “wronged” me in my mind - usually I give people the silent treatment - it’s just how I’ve learned to deal with people.

Because people know I’m socially awkward some of them will mess with me for kicks (moving my scissors, putting things in my personal bubble that I have to then move, etc). Being the boss’ kid makes it worse, because then they think I’m getting special treatment and/or can get away with things.

I feel kind of stuck because if I say something about it they’ll either think I’m just whining and change nothing, do it moreso just because I said something, or completely deny that they’re messing with me and still change nothing.

I also feel that if I tell them I’m an Aspie they won’t believe me, or think I’ll use it as an excuse for everything in the future.

One of them should be retiring in the next few years so that’ll make life a little easier, but ugh, humans I tell ya.

 

[Judge]

"Been there, done that, got the t-shirt".

The only thing I ever found that works against toxic persons in the workplace is attrition. That odds are such people will simply leave over time, or get the boot over their job performance.

 

[Gritches]

This is exactly why you never let anyone know that you're bothered by something, in the vein of "never let them see you cry". People are horrible, if they know something bothers you they'll do it for fun; the more hurtful/bothersome, the better.

 

[EKnuppel81]

This is exactly why you never let anyone know that you're bothered by something, in the vein of "never let them see you cry". People are horrible, if they know something bothers you they'll do it for fun; the more hurtful/bothersome, the better.

Yeah, I just try to go about my business and not visibly react to things. But of course, there are good and bad days. Monday and Tuesday seem to be the worst, but by later in the week I tend to have a little more self-confidence. Having a bigger project to focus on instead of the usual day-to-day stuff seems to help too.

 

[DogwoodTree]

"Individuals with autism are especially vulnerable to bullying. The Interactive Autism Network found in a study that 63% of children ages 6 to 15 with autism spectrum disorder have experienced bullying.

This is another area where neurotypical people may give ineffective advice. People usually suggest dealing with teasing in one of three ways: ignore the bully, walk away, or tell an adult. But these strategies don’t always work, Laugeson says.

"These responses often make it worse for the victim and not better," she explains.

During a bullying situation, a neurotypical person will usually respond with a short, dismissive comeback. A casual "whatever" or "Is that supposed to be funny?" can make the aggressor’s comments seem boring.

This is a great way to show the ability to stand up for one’s self while diffusing the situation and avoiding more confrontation. Laugeson teaches this tactic in PEERS to her students, helping them deal with teasing in a way others might naturally react."

Source: There’s a surprising science behind making friends, and this psychologist is teaching it.

I wish there were more information about this for adults. I'm slowly figuring some of it out by studying personal boundaries.