The road to a diagnostic is scary

[Suzanne]

I have two more appointments to attend. I have to do even more tests and I had a huge pile come through the post that I had to answer as honestly as I could. Talk about major stress!

If it had not been my husband correcting me, I would have answered incorrectly, because I just do not think about it on a daily basis.

He even was the one who said I take things literally. I even denied it at first, but after thinking about it, realised that I probably do!

I ask myself: why is it so important to be formally diagnosed with aspergers? Who really wants to have a disability? The answer is because it does not take away who I am and the terrible struggles I encounter on a daily basis.

I am seeing a psychiatrist next month, who is an expert in autsim and this person will look at all the "evidence" and diagnose me.

It is interesting, because the empathisis is on being honest and despite wanting to answer in a way to lead to aspergers, I just not able to, but does anyway lol

My husband is being so supportive to me and that is such a relief.

 

[Autistamatic]

I can only answer based on my observations of your posts on here, but I feel that it is resolution and peace of mind that you are seeking. An explanation for your self that you are not mentally ill or emotionally disturbed, just different.
It may have a knock on effect with some other people in your life - once they realise you're neither deliberately obtuse nor able to be medicated into being more like them, they may make more effort to understand rather than force their opinions on you.

Who really wants to have a disability?

Nobody, but then I do not regard AS as a disability even if society at large casts it in that light. I do have a physical disability - I have spinal arthritis which limits my mobility so I need a cane to get around, but my AS is a difference, NOT a deficiency. The sooner we embrace that distinction ourselves, the sooner we will get accepted and treated better by non-AS people.
As to the tests - don't think "what's the correct aspie answer" think "how do I feel inside" rather than "how do I act/try to be seen". Answer truthfully about the person who is confused, unhappy and easily upset, not about the mask you wear.
I wish you the best as always

 

[Theta.G]

Agreed... especially when so called professionals get the wrong diagnosis so often.

 

[clg114]

Autistamatic make a very good point. ASD is a disability for some of us, but most certainly not for all of us. I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome with the old DSM-4. I am not disabled in any way, in fact being a Aspie has been a big help to me. I would not be able to do what I do with out Asperger's.

Suzanne, I hope that you get the answers and peace of mind that you seek. For me, getting diagnosed was a real awakening. Hopefully your experience will be as good as mine was.

 

[Judge]

I think the important thing is that you are moving, and in the right direction. This is good.

 

[Pats]

Agree with the above comments. Not a disability, but an explanation of who you are and why you think differently than most. I remember many times -never even considering autism - that I wondered if I was mentally ill or psychotic or something and very glad to learn that I'm not. But I did use to think my brain didn't work like most people, which is why I thought maybe psychotic or whatever. As late as it was in my life, I'm still very glad to know what my diagnosis is.
I remember taking this paper test (about 2 hours long) - nothing to do with diagnosis - it was GAF test and had no idea what they were looking for. But I do know that the results of that test is what granted my disability. The only reason I know that is because of the acceptance letter stating the results of that test showed severe difficulty with social and occupational functioning and they even suggested it being in my best interest to have someone else handle my finances, etc. Reading everything it said, I was like - "What? No way." It was about 7 years later I got the diagnosis of autism and THEN those results made sense.

 

[Otenba]

It is an invisible disability because we're not the same as everyone else, and that is nothing to be ashamed of. This fact isn't something that can be cherry picked just because of how you see yourself as an individual.