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Talking To Girls or Women

142857 said:
Ah Sean, this is my first time back on this forum in ages, and after a very short time skimming some of your posts I can see that I am going to like you a lot.

If you can see past the enormous chip on your shoulder you might notice that most aspies have poor social skills and struggle to make good, casual conversation. That is what this thread is about, just a bit of friendly advice for people who have the same sort of struggles that I have always had. But you seem to have taken it as a cue to crow about your own superiority and the lameness of other aspie males.
Click to expand...

Again, another useless post with you attacking me. Strangely enough again I don't see anyone else looking for things to complain about like you are doing. You must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed and bruised your ego somehow :D Do you really find this a healthy obsession with criticizing someone else who doesn't share your views? In every post? Again, so sorry if my beliefs don't coincide with yours. Must be difficult for you going through life with such tunnel vision and in such denial.

I don't care if you like me or not, you obviously don't like yourself. That shines through in practically every word you have written on here. Oh that and the lack of self confidence, need for validation and attention, and boring personality.

By the way, when you actually take the time to stop hiding behind a set of numbers for your nick and get to know someone else and what they have been going through forever, and understand how they feel and why they are the way they are, then you might actually learn something and get out from your own little world where noone else matters but you and your selfish opinions.
 
Here we go again!
I think the saddest thing about this thread is that although it offers great advice, I see that I would have to put on an act to impress any girl. Perhaps there is a girl out there who would love me for who I am, but I'm sure I would have to travel the world in order to find somebody like that.
I have a very good friend. He is the only proper friend I have. People say that he is a complete ass, and he does some stupid and selfish things, but he is still the best friend I have. If I met a girl who was like him, I would be truly happy, but I have got used to the idea that it is just another of my unrealistic fantasies.

Sorry girls, I like Lego better than I like football. I find the music of Sigur Ros more exciting than the idea of getting laid. I would rather go on an inspirational 21 mile walk rather than get on a creaky smelly bus. Like it or lump it, I would rather stay celibate than downgrade myself to the level of the drunk yobs who sit right in the middle of the continuum, right above the word 'Average'.

Wow, I feel all merry inside!
 
Kempy said:
Here we go again!
I think the saddest thing about this thread is that although it offers great advice, I see that I would have to put on an act to impress any girl. Perhaps there is a girl out there who would love me for who I am, but I'm sure I would have to travel the world in order to find somebody like that.
I have a very good friend. He is the only proper friend I have. People say that he is a complete ass, and he does some stupid and selfish things, but he is still the best friend I have. If I met a girl who was like him, I would be truly happy, but I have got used to the idea that it is just another of my unrealistic fantasies.

Sorry girls, I like Lego better than I like football. I find the music of Sigur Ros more exciting than the idea of getting laid. I would rather go on an inspirational 21 mile walk rather than get on a creaky smelly bus. Like it or lump it, I would rather stay celibate than downgrade myself to the level of the drunk yobs who sit right in the middle of the continuum, right above the word 'Average'.

Wow, I feel all merry inside!
Click to expand...

You don't have to be anything you aren't. Take some of the advice in this thread and the 'terrified of girls' thread that feels right to you. There are some good ideas, and some clueless/lameunimaginative ones as well. But believe me if you just accentuate your good qualities and come off authentic and confident with girls, you will do well enough. Focus on them, keep the conversation emotion filled and steer away from boring logical factual ramblings (or questions), and you will be ok. You are conveying a few things. 1) You care about and value every part/facet of the girl and not just the physical. And you are very interested in every part of her and connecting her world to yours. 2) You have high value and YOU are the prize. That means you qualify her, not vice versa. 3) You get her on a deeper level or are at least trying to.

Just do enough of that and nt females/aspie females or any females will generally think of you in a good way. You need to keep things flowing in a way where you keep ramping up tension and emotion between you two. Once that starts going away, she's going to lose interest. Be a good listener. Be romantic, no it isn't cheesy or lame. And no, being romantic doesn't mean showering her with a million ocmpliments. You have to keep it all fresh, interesting, exciting, fun. Be funny as well. Even if you aren't funny, make an effort and try not to laugh at your own jokes too much ;) There is so much more you can do that I didn't share because this post is long enough. But do enough of these things right and you will get the girl and most likely keep her :) Any questions, pm me. Although I probably won't answer lol.

Good luck.

-sean-
 
This is a copy of a post from the other thread but bares repeating. Forget about the other cluttered posts by an aforementioned poster with all numbers in his nick that prefers to criticize others, their intentions, and advice rather than using it.

You don't have to be anything you aren't. Take some of the advice in this thread and the 'talking to girls' one and use what feels right to you. There are some good ideas, and some clueless/lame/unimaginative ones as well. But believe me if you just accentuate your good qualities and come off authentic and confident with girls, you will do well enough. Focus on them, keep the conversation emotion filled and steer away from boring logical factual ramblings (or questions), and you will be ok. You are conveying a few things. 1) You care about and value every part/facet of the girl and not just the physical. And you are very interested in every part of her and connecting her world to yours. 2) You have high value and YOU are the prize. That means you qualify her, not vice versa. 3) You get her on a deeper level or are at least trying to.

Just do enough of that and nt females/aspie females or any females will generally think of you in a good way. You need to keep things flowing in a way where you keep ramping up tension and emotion between you two. Once that starts going away, she's going to lose interest. Be a good listener. Be romantic, no it isn't cheesy or lame. And no, being romantic doesn't mean showering her with a million ocmpliments. You have to keep it all fresh, interesting, exciting, fun. Be funny as well. Even if you aren't funny, make an effort and try not to laugh at your own jokes too much ;) There is so much more you can do that I didn't share because this post is long enough. But do enough of these things right and you will get the girl and most likely keep her :) Any questions, pm me. Although I probably won't answer lol.

Good luck.

-sean-
 
I've never found girls terrifying but i have felt very awkward around some, i find the more stereotypical someone seems the harder it is to fit in and impress them. nowadays i decide i'm not even bothered with ST's because they are silly for thinking they have to be the same as everyone else to be accepted and they clearly cant think for themselves lol. There are alot of people in the world that arent even aspies that dont care what others think, ahh thats my kinda crowd. Oh and dont be terrified of girls, you will just seem invisible to them, i know they can be scary but they like someone that will take a risk and make the first move to talk to them.(I really need to practice what i preach though tbh, i'm fine till that darn anxiety kicks in)
 
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