Surprises - Please share how you feel about them.

[djn]

Yuck. I don't know why people can't believe me or won't when I tell them I don't like surprise parties, surprise gifts, surprise trips, surprise visits, surprise anything. I think NT's just can not understand this. Even the most understanding people in my life don't seem to get this and It's one of thee things I hate the worst in life. Why would I want to walk out to twenty people for a surprise party because I graduated, if I hate social events? Why would I think someone putting a sombrero on my head at a restaurant in front of a room full of people would be fun if I don't even like opening gifts in front of a few people? Why would someone just drop by my house when we barely get together? I don't get it.

 

[Rudy Schmidt]

I don't usually like them. Christmas is really awkward, I find. Sitting there opening presents with a bunch of people staring at you expectantly. And although I usually like the gifts, I always feel uncomfortable having to make a big show of being grateful. Don't get me wrong, I AM grateful, but acting it just feels like acting. I always worry I'm not acting grateful enough, and end up overdoing it. Interestingly, these discomforts don't apply when the only people around are from my "inner circle" (my parents and my wife), in front of whom I don't feel like I have to wear my "normal" mask.

As for surprise visits, THOSE I don't like. They make me horribly uncomfortable, take me away from whatever I was doing beforehand, and, if they go on for too long or too late at night, give me panic attacks.

 

[djn]

I don't usually like them. Christmas is really awkward, I find. Sitting there opening presents with a bunch of people staring at you expectantly. And although I usually like the gifts, I always feel uncomfortable having to make a big show of being grateful. Don't get me wrong, I AM grateful, but acting it just feels like acting. I always worry I'm not acting grateful enough, and end up overdoing it. Interestingly, these discomforts don't apply when the only people around are from my "inner circle" (my parents and my wife), in front of whom I don't feel like I have to wear my "normal" mask.

As for surprise visits, THOSE I don't like. They make me horribly uncomfortable, take me away from whatever I was doing beforehand, and, if they go on for too long or too late at night, give me panic attacks.

I get the grateful thing. I really am grateful too, but it always feels like I'm acting too.

 

[djn]

I'm not a fan of surprises. I've been to those places that clap, sing, and the sombrero for birthdays. I'm grateful and appreciative of the thought, but those who initiate such things don't comprehend the inner turmoil that takes place. Furthermore, I cannot understand why they are amused at the discomfort that happens because of the surprise. Just once I'd like to say, "Here, let me drop a live grenade down your shorts and see how you like the surprise."

Interesting visual!

 

[Ste11aeres]

Not a fan of surprises.

 

[Easter]

 

[Easter]

I don't like surprises, that song I posted has been a running joke between me and a girl I know who also hates surprises.
The unexpected hits you right between the eyes....
I had some people throw a surprise birithday party for me once about 8 years ago.... it took me ages to realize what was happening, far longer than it should of as I was sat with a banner above my head saying 'happy birthday' that i didn't notice... Although I think it was really nice of them for doing it all and making me a cake, it was painful, I had to be called into a room full of party people (singing Happy Birthday) from where I was sitting and I just wanted to hide in the corner, so i did. Made me sweat and feel really uncomfortable, embarrassing . Luckily I got very drunk very fast and can't remember anything else.
Loud noises are my worst kind of surprise, takes me too long to settle afterwards and I hear them all day!

 

[Peace]

Most people do what they know, and to them I'm sure it is a special thing. Do not look to what they do, but why they do it. It is motive that shows the way to their heart.
And I don't like them either.

 

[Judge]

Another one of those incredibly common things I've not given much thought to. I suppose it depends on the surprise. Anything that yields a less-than-positive outcome would be in the realm of a disappointment.

That said, I don't take disappointment all that well.

 

[atrocityexhibition]

Surprises are just a great way to bring out my aspie-ness. Especially surprise parties or stuff like that if they're aimed at me. I can think of something witty and NT-sounding to say most the time, but when I get really surprised, I just babble out something idiotic and feel like a jackass.

 

[radasp]

I don't do surprises and will likely never again speak to someone who insists on repeated surprises after I tell them not to do that.

 

[Cogs Of My Cranium]

 

[Cuppa' Tea]

I dislike surprises. I'm okay with Christmas and birthdays because I'm expecting the surprise to happen, so I'm prepared. And like others have mentioned, while I AM grateful for any gifts I might receive for those days, it feels like acting when I have to make a show of how gateful I am. Any other type of surprise and I turn into this guy.

 

[aj]

I dont like surprises, im always doing something i want to do, if i walked in my house or if i got desturbed in my room just for a surprise it make me feel awkward and i think. What do i do? I find it puts you on the spot and i get confused. What should i do? Whats going to happen? How long will this last? Can i go? Why cant people just say im getting this for you and il give it to you at 12:00 stick around for half an hour then do what you want. Christmas isnt too bad because i always get the same thing which is good because i know what to expect. But i will stay with my family for 2 hours then return to my room for the rest of the day. Recently on my birthday my mum gave me 2 months notice on whats happening for my birthday which was great. I went on Holliday and went out for 3 days then stayed in the mobile home for the rest of the week. I did enjoy it more when i was on my own watching tv and looking at games on my phone. But i find i cannot wait to get back home. The night club was a bit stressful because of the noise and people but luckily there wasn't as many as i thought there would be. Anyways surprises = bad idea

 

[gouldgrl]

Yuck. I don't know why people can't believe me or won't when I tell them I don't like surprise parties, surprise gifts, surprise trips, surprise visits, surprise anything. I think NT's just can not understand this. Even the most understanding people in my life don't seem to get this and It's one of thee things I hate the worst in life. Why would I want to walk out to twenty people for a surprise party because I graduated, if I hate social events? Why would I think someone putting a sombrero on my head at a restaurant in front of a room full of people would be fun if I don't even like opening gifts in front of a few people? Why would someone just drop by my house when we barely get together? I don't get it.

You're in good company. During my marriage, my husband would occasionally surprise me with a trip somewhere (once, out of the country). His reasoning was that it would reduce the number of days/hours of my fretting over who was taking care of our children. He didn't understand why the surprises were even more stressful for me, not to mention inconsiderate. Of course most wives would be tickled pink if their husbands surprised them with a trip somewhere. At the time, though, even I didn't know I was exhibiting ASD signs.

 

[Structrix]

I love surprise gifts but that is about it. LOL