Son left suicide note on facebook

[Louise]

i was informed by my sons friend that he'd left a suicide note/will on fb. He later deleted it. The note was devastating & I immediately phoned the crisis team who passed me onto the mental health act team, who passed me onto gp who said they would offer him an appointment. He wouldn't attend as he'd been to gp & all he'd got offered was to talk to someone.... he doesn't want to talk to anyone!
He has now agreed to medication & has commenced ( a family friend is dr) he knows he is ill with depression.
I'm obviously heartbroken & overwhelmed with anxiety at present.
Has anyone any advice for me? He is at present pushing all his family away. Help

 

[Adder1234]

From experience, he probably thinks that no one can understand or help him. This doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong, its just a part of depression. What's important is that you don't try and force him to talk or open up to you, if you he will just feel even more isolated and pressured. Just make sure that he knows that he has people that will be there for him if he needs it.

 

[Louise]

From experience, he probably thinks that no one can understand or help him. This doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong, its just a part of depression. What's important is that you don't try and force him to talk or open up to you, if you he will just feel even more isolated and pressured. Just make sure that he knows that he has people that will be there for him if he needs it.

Thanks Adder1234. It's always better getting advice from someone who can empathise. I appreciate it.

 

[Louise]

Thanks Adder1234. It's always better getting advice from someone who can empathise. I appreciate it.

 

[246819733791]

I'm relieved to hear he is taking medication; when it starts to take effect it will probably be easier for your son to engage.

 

[Ambi]

i was informed by my sons friend that he'd left a suicide note/will on fb. He later deleted it. The note was devastating & I immediately phoned the crisis team who passed me onto the mental health act team, who passed me onto gp who said they would offer him an appointment. He wouldn't attend as he'd been to gp & all he'd got offered was to talk to someone.... he doesn't want to talk to anyone!
He has now agreed to medication & has commenced ( a family friend is dr) he knows he is ill with depression.
I'm obviously heartbroken & overwhelmed with anxiety at present.
Has anyone any advice for me? He is at present pushing all his family away. Help

The GP and medication are all a good start, but I think he really needs a therapist. The medicine alone in most cases is not enough to heal the problem. I don't know your son's age, but with younger people, anti-depressants have been associated with an increase in suicide attempts. One theory is that it gives them the energy to go through with it. Otherwise maybe the medicine is just behaving in a different way than in adults. I don't know if your child is on the spectrum, but I have also read (and related to) the idea that suicide motivation can be different between those on the spectrum and those who are not.

 

[Louise]

The GP and medication are all a good start, but I think he really needs a therapist. The medicine alone in most cases is not enough to heal the problem. I don't know your son's age, but with younger people, anti-depressants have been associated with an increase in suicide attempts. One theory is that it gives them the energy to go through with it. Otherwise maybe the medicine is just behaving in a different way than in adults. I don't know if your child is on the spectrum, but I have also read (and related to) the idea that suicide motivation can be different between those on the spectrum and those who are not.

My son is 22 & has Aspergers (is in denial )although he knows he's different.
At the present time I don't feel he would engage with a therapist. He finds it very difficult to vocalise his feelings & emotions.
I agree that it would be of benefit to see a professional psychiatrist or therapist

 

[watersprite]

I am sorry for you and your son's situation. If he will agree to do so, have him pick a therapist for himself. Perhaps a friend of his can recommend one as a starting place. If he decides he doesn't care for that one, then move on to a different therapist.
I have had some experience with something very like this. But I'd prefer to talk about it in a private message.

 

[Louise]

I am sorry for you and your son's situation. If he will agree to do so, have him pick a therapist for himself. Perhaps a friend of his can recommend one as a starting place. If he decides he doesn't care for that one, then move on to a different therapist.
I have had some experience with something very like this. But I'd prefer to talk about it in a private message.

O

I am sorry for you and your son's situation. If he will agree to do so, have him pick a therapist for himself. Perhaps a friend of his can recommend one as a starting place. If he decides he doesn't care for that one, then move on to a different therapist.
I have had some experience with something very like this. But I'd prefer to talk about it in a private message.

Thanks Kestrel
He has no close friends that he trusts. Doesn't trust family members either. I'm new to this so don't know how to pm you
Regards
Louise

 

[Ambi]

My son is 22 & has Aspergers (is in denial )although he knows he's different.
At the present time I don't feel he would engage with a therapist. He finds it very difficult to vocalise his feelings & emotions.
I agree that it would be of benefit to see a professional psychiatrist or therapist

I know for myself, it was an added stress, and seemed nearly impossible, to talk things out or explain things to a therapist :-( I still struggle with this now with one of my doctors, I don't think she gets an accurate picture of what is going on with me. It is even more difficult if those professionals are not on the spectrum. But one therapist gave me one insight that really helped me. Mostly it was self-help books that helped me, and now this forum, once I realized I most likely have Aspergers. And videos/books by others on the spectrum. As far as suicide goes - I have never truly been suicidal. But I did relate to what I read somewhere: that people who are not on the spectrum may be driven to suicide for emotional reasons - emotional responses to events, or just the biochemistry of their brains. There is an irrational process going on that is pushing them towards suicide. But for those on the spectrums, with or without these aforementioned factors going on, the decision to commit suicide may be the logical conclusion from a rationally thought out process about whether life is worth living for them or not anymore. So the rational reasons need to be addressed, not just the emotional. This is very different from being suicidal, but I think that is part of the reason why I am totally confused and annoyed by the trite things people will try to say to me if I am facing some sort of difficulty: "Everything will be okay!" or something else like that. They have no idea what they are talking about, yet it's supposed to somehow make me feel better! I now understand that that must be their way of giving a verbal hug or something. I think with a therapist, I would run the risk of being misread because I don't make the typical facial expressions that enable a person to "read" the underlying emotional content. But I hope your son agrees to therapy and that the therapist is able to really listen/understand appropriately. I'm glad you were alerted about that FB post!

 

[s3_gunzel]

From experience, he probably thinks that no one can understand or help him.

This is, unfortunately, part of The Human Condition; I've experienced this myself. It's as though you end up in a cycle where you're the only one in it and nobody else knows how it feels. And it sucks. Once you get past that, you can work to better yourself.