social skills level 0

[GamingAdam]

hi =) this is something that really makes me depressed, I don't know if it has with my aspergers to do or if I can work on it, I really wanna work on it, I'm sick of it, I have this autism voice, many aspergers doesen't have this voice, I don't know how to explain it, I think you get what I mean,

I have aspergersyndrom but like I understand sarcasm and irony perfectly I never had problem understanding it, I take normal classes, I never had problems with understanding feelings, empathy is like the opposite for me, I feel even more empathy,
Anyhow to the problem, when I'm socialising with people most of the time, I get tense, I get nervous, I'm starting to stammering alittle , I freeze , just not a great time,


I don't know if this is aspergers syndrom related, or if i can work on it, I read about that I can't work on it, but when I get older, I have a better understanding of myself and can find otherways and don't put myself in these situation

anyhow, when I record myself, and hear my own voice, I can identity my voice with other aspies and people with autism, I really don't like my voice, I hate it, I think if I can work on my voice, I would feel very more confident and that would make me think when I'm socialising with people that I have nothing to be afraid of,

Sorry for a long text =/ I just feel pretty down right now, that I don't have any friends =/

 

[paloftoon]

Here's an interesting angle for you to take. You should consider singing as a hobby and get vocal lessons. You can also tell that coach that you want to work on your skills socially. You could try to make this request to a psychologist maybe instead. This may or may not get you more friends, but it will make you more confident since your voice concerns you greatly. Confidence definitely helps a lot because other people can read that through.

If you can find groups off of meetup.com or such that you AND your parents could get involved with, this could help you form a network too. If you can tell us specifics on geographic location, then someone on here may be able to help you seek out autistic groups for friendship. There are many more resources for younger people under 18 generally speaking.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

Look for a speech therapist. I had one when I was in 4th grade because I couldn't pronounce my r's correctly. I also saw some speech therapy "classes" online which I guess you could do it using a recorder.
Speech Lesson 3 – Speech Problem of Expression

 

[Judge]

Anyhow to the problem, when I'm socialising with people most of the time, I get tense, I get nervous, I'm starting to stammering alittle , I freeze , just not a great time,


I don't know if this is aspergers syndrom related, or if i can work on it, I read about that I can't work on it, but when I get older, I have a better understanding of myself and can find otherways and don't put myself in these situation

Isn't social anxiety quite often comorbid to ASD? I've always been nervous to varying degrees over face-to-face socialization. All I can offer you is that over many years I can correlate my sense of confidence relative to my social anxiety. However my own sense of confidence may also be relative to the lack of social contact I have with Neurotypicals. In other words, less social stress puts me more at social ease.

So my anxiety basically ebbs and flows. But like my depression and OCD, never really disappears either.

 

[atrocityexhibition]

Adam, this is something I think you can definitely work on. It took me a long time to figure out how to work on it, but at 24, I feel like I have better control over the face-to-face anxiety part than I ever have. You seem like you're making far more progress than I was at 19. Just keep pushing your comfort, little by little, smile a lot, try to be charming, and see what happens. It sounds like you have the tools to understand social situations pretty well, apart from the stammering, which is a good sign.

I still have stammer days, but on days like that, I mask it by being a little quieter. On those days, I give myself space from coworkers and acquaintances: the people who I know less well and who give me that anxiety. Then, when I have better days, and I'm more in sync with my environment, I capitalize on that. It's still a struggle, but Judge is right: for many of us, it kind of ebbs and flows.

 

[dragonwolf]

Fun fact - there's a country singer who has a horrible stutter when he speaks, especially in public situations, but that doesn't happen when he sings, so he actually sings when he talks to get around it. I don't remember who it is, but I remember it's a real old school country singer.

 

[Flinty]

Fun fact - there's a country singer who has a horrible stutter when he speaks, especially in public situations, but that doesn't happen when he sings, so he actually sings when he talks to get around it. I don't remember who it is, but I remember it's a real old school country singer.

Mel Tillis, I think. Either him or Conway Twitty.

 

[Judge]

Mel Tillis, I think. Either him or Conway Twitty.

Yeah, it was Mel Tillis. A great example of the contrast of left and right brain lateralization. Great singer, but when he spoke he had quite the stutter.

 

[dragonwolf]

I knew someone would know.

 

[GamingAdam]

Adam, this is something I think you can definitely work on. It took me a long time to figure out how to work on it, but at 24, I feel like I have better control over the face-to-face anxiety part than I ever have. You seem like you're making far more progress than I was at 19. Just keep pushing your comfort, little by little, smile a lot, try to be charming, and see what happens. It sounds like you have the tools to understand social situations pretty well, apart from the stammering, which is a good sign.

I still have stammer days, but on days like that, I mask it by being a little quieter. On those days, I give myself space from coworkers and acquaintances: the people who I know less well and who give me that anxiety. Then, when I have better days, and I'm more in sync with my environment, I capitalize on that. It's still a struggle, but Judge is right: for many of us, it kind of ebbs and flows.

Thank you, you don't know how much that meant to me =)