Self-Fullfilling Prophecy

[wanderer03]

I have Hidden_1 to credit for this post because he got me thinking about what is to follow. In my teenage years, I have been labeled as anti-social and bullied. I wonder if those accusations have taken on a truth of their own. Generally, yes, I am a little anti-social. And no, I don't give a whit that I feel this way. The neurotypical world has so marginalized me that I don't like engaging in it. When I do have a need for socialization, I seek out an anonymous place where I can get it and that is enough.

So I've been told enough times that I am anti-social that I've begun to believe it. Up until today, I'd get really defensive about it. Today, I realized that rather than get defensive, I might as well embrace it! The folks that live off the grid do so I will too. Hell yes, I am anti-social and I am fine with that. If someone wants to call that a disorder, let them. To me, it's perfectly fine. To me insanity is the rat race of the neurotypical world.

 

[Judge]

As someone on the spectrum of autism, I'm inclined to take for granted that virtually all of us struggle in one way or another to interact with much of anyone. And that Neurotypicals are erroneously apt to interpret this as being "anti-social". As if we have made a conscious choice to defy a world predicated on social conformity of one kind or another. Even though we haven't, really.

It's just so damn easy for us to make some sort of social error in a world we have trouble understanding that costs us anything from an insult, to raw persecution.

It's just not a comfortable existence for many of us. Where solitude becomes our best friend forever. Even though we continue to long to make some sort of positive contact with someone-anyone. And that it seldom works out that way.

You aren't alone. But you're one of so many valuable contributors here. If you truly were anti-social, you wouldn't be here very much. But you are. You just "click" with us more than you "click" with them.

 

[2aspirin]

Ah, yes. I do think that we "pull back." It does not help that we continue to be defined by the neurotypical's experience of us. We don't define deafness as antisocial, but we take on that label even though our reasons for communication mismatches with NTs is far more analogous to a sensory deficit like deafness than it is to a value system difference.

 

[wanderer03]

Ah, yes. I do think that we "pull back." It does not help that we continue to be defined by the neurotypical's experience of us. We don't define deafness as antisocial, but we take on that label even though our reasons for communication mismatches with NTs is far more analogous to a sensory deficit like deafness than it is to a value system difference.

At this point in my life, people keeping their distance from me is just fine. When I do need socialization, I keep it as anonymous as possible. I'm tired of trying to fit into a world that is just not designed for me. I'm hopeful that things will get better once I go independent contractor and deal less with groups of people daily. Or, at the very least, not dealing with the social stress and anxiety of a boss.

 

[Judge]

AI'm hopeful that things will get better once I go independent contractor and deal less with groups of people daily. Or, at the very least, not dealing with the social stress and anxiety of a boss.

Could make all the difference in the world.

 

[nowwhat]

I have Hidden_1 to credit for this post because he got me thinking about what is to follow. In my teenage years, I have been labeled as anti-social and bullied. I wonder if those accusations have taken on a truth of their own. Generally, yes, I am a little anti-social. And no, I don't give a whit that I feel this way. The neurotypical world has so marginalized me that I don't like engaging in it. When I do have a need for socialization, I seek out an anonymous place where I can get it and that is enough.

So I've been told enough times that I am anti-social that I've begun to believe it. Up until today, I'd get really defensive about it. Today, I realized that rather than get defensive, I might as well embrace it! The folks that live off the grid do so I will too. Hell yes, I am anti-social and I am fine with that. If someone wants to call that a disorder, let them. To me, it's perfectly fine. To me insanity is the rat race of the neurotypical world.

I would like to point out, that to NT's "being sociable" includes delights such as, insincerity, selfish manipulation of others, backtalk and backstabbing, cruel sarcasm, ostracism, scapegoating, and picking on the most likely target in whatever group happens to be convened at the moment. Also throw in a lot of meaningless smalltalk babble, ritualized posturing and vapid unconsicous ritual. Meaningful content: less than 10%. Antisocial doesn't sound so bad now, does it?

 

[wanderer03]

Agreed! Anti-social is preferable to vapidity.

 

[wanderer03]

I've been rebuked more than once over the years for being aloof or antisocial. On more than one occasion I was practically tricked into participating in a social activity, which about drove me over the edge.

In order for me to participate in such a thing, I have to get my mind "in that place." I run scenarios through my head, rehearse how I should act, etc. I wish I could mingle in a social setting without having bells and whistles going off in my brain wondering if I'm behaving properly and then going home later worried if I said or did something totally stupid.

I had a friend (keyword, had) that enjoyed my company because I "provided a distraction and made him laugh." The idiot couldn't understand that a lot of my eccentric behavior was not because I was trying to be funny, but rather it was the AS coming out because I had stopped trying to keep it in place.

I can function here because I can see what I'm saying and can monitor it as it leaves my fingertips. Many of my posts take several minutes to type out, because I try to be careful with what I say. Also, I'm not overwhelmed with the distraction of an unfamiliar environment or many people milling about. I can sit and communicate with my AS friends and be free to stim as much as I want without worrying if the NT's will become concerned and/or call "the men in the white truck." I'm also free to sit here without wearing any pants in the comfort of my den, so there.

Just the other day I was shooting the breeze in the parking lot with someone who I think is neurotypical but she just has no patience for ********: she's just a straight shooter. We get along based on our mutual respect for honesty. She just doesn't give a rat's ass about social convention. A co-worker came up to us and actually asked me why I was so anti-social. I turned to him and said, "What!? Are you my ****ing shrink now?" He kind of laughed nervously and walked away. I actually said, "Yeah, that's right. Keep walking, asshole!" She just about fell over laughing. I love adulthood because I don't need to put up with that kind of bullying anymore.

 

[Destination Unknown]

I would like to point out, that to NT's "being sociable" includes delights such as, insincerity, selfish manipulation of others, backtalk and backstabbing, cruel sarcasm, ostracism, scapegoating, and picking on the most likely target in whatever group happens to be convened at the moment. Also throw in a lot of meaningless smalltalk babble, ritualized posturing and vapid unconsicous ritual. Meaningful content: less than 10%. Antisocial doesn't sound so bad now, does it?

Wow! Now that describes our room at my place of employment on any given day. I would only revise the meaningful content to less than 1%.

 

[wanderer03]

I would like to point out, that to NT's "being sociable" includes delights such as, insincerity, selfish manipulation of others, backtalk and backstabbing, cruel sarcasm, ostracism, scapegoating, and picking on the most likely target in whatever group happens to be convened at the moment. Also throw in a lot of meaningless smalltalk babble, ritualized posturing and vapid unconsicous ritual. Meaningful content: less than 10%. Antisocial doesn't sound so bad now, does it?

The dripping sarcasm made me smile! Thank you sir!