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Self absorbed.

chinaberry

Well-Known Member
Do you think you are terribly self absorbed because you are an Aspie? Or just coincidentally? I don't know how self absorbed NTs are. Obviously it goes with the territory, but does it impede on any relationships that you have managed to make, or what?
 
Do you think you are terribly self absorbed because you are an Aspie? Or just coincidentally? I don't know how self absorbed NTs are. Obviously it goes with the territory, but does it impede on any relationships that you have managed to make, or what?
i don't think of myself like that at all, i can think of myself a little when i'm upset but i really think about the people around me and i do my best not to upset them.
 
I'd be self absorbed whether I was an Aspie or not. But yeah, I think being on the spectrum is part of what makes me self-absorbed.
 
I try not to be so self absorbed. I generally do care about people; when I try to show it, they just get mad or annoyed.
 
Honestly, I think I'm very self absorbed. I'm always thinking of myself and what I want to do, what makes me comfortable, etc. It's easy for me to get upset out of not getting my own way. But, at the same time, I absolutely hate the feeling that I've upset someone else. I've been treated badly before and I don't want to treat other people the same way I was treated because I know how awful it feels. I usually do my own thing and try to stay out of everyone else's way.
 
Self-absorbed..? Nah. Self-conscious? Definitely. I'm always thinking about what I'll say or what I'll do, to the point where I can't think about anything else and I end up not saying or doing anything, which makes me feel infinitely more worse than I would feel if I just said or did something to begin with!

*sigh* Oh, me...

(What do you mean, "where have you been"? I've been busy... for... seven months...)
 
Would the right answer be yes or no here :) ? Lol it's a subjective thing. I vote for sometimes yes, sometimes no.
 
I'm very self-absorbed but also very self-conscious nd very absorbed in the people I love, and yes I do care about people very much.
 
I'd say aspergers makes you self absorbed, i mean how can u not be when you have constantly got to try and fit in then you end up judging and blaming yourself when you cant but it doesnt mean were selfish. NT's find it easier to relax most of the time but aspies are stressed more often and you tend to be very self absorbed when your stressed.
 
Another thing is, I looked up the meaning of the prefix aut- a while ago, and the site I was on redirected me to auto-, which means self, so I guess that means autism literally means selfism, but not necessarily selfish... I think it basically means we don't understand other people very well and tend to spend time alone doing our own thing. I guess autistics do tend to be self absorbed, but that's probably mainly because they only understand and get along with themselves. Some are also shy; I know I am.
 
Another thing is, I looked up the meaning of the prefix aut- a while ago, and the site I was on redirected me to auto-, which means self, so I guess that means autism literally means selfism, but not necessarily selfish... I think it basically means we don't understand other people very well and tend to spend time alone doing our own thing. I guess autistics do tend to be self absorbed, but that's probably mainly because they only understand and get along with themselves. Some are also shy; I know I am.

This has been my prevailing, general, notion of 'Autism'; as a retreat into or an enclosedness within the mind. Like you say, not in a negative or egotistical sense (although I guess that can happen as a response to various experiences in life) but rather how it looks to others.

Self-absorption is certainly how it feels for me though, and I'm sure all who know me would back that up ;) Even more so in the last 10 years as I've tried to grasp exactly what it is that is up with me. Like others here though, I do try to be open to people, to the detriment of my own well-being sometimes. It's taken a lot of effort to guard against being thought of as 'the weird, quiet one' and I think I've just about got it down to a T :D Hopefully I'm now regarded as the 'mysterious, broody, weird and quiet one' ;)
 
What Anne said.

Plus, selfishness and ego are primary facets of human nature (the human race wouldn't be where it is now if they weren't), but I see self-absorbtion as something different entirely: if a person finds things difficult in society, has few friends, and doesn't really engage in social activies, where else is there for that person to turn except inwards?
 

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