May I join in? My life in verse (so far)...
Upon Discovering
To all my friends both old and new.
For friends to come, and family too
A few words, if I may, though many I've said,
THESE are from the heart, and not from my head.
To all that I've dropped, like hot coals in water,
My father, my son, my mother, my daughter.
To partners and wives, to colleagues and strangers
To all those poor souls that didn't see danger.
To all who I've wronged, and all I've endangered,
To all who got swept up in my wake of adventure.
I have something now, I wish to share.
A hope to repay all that love, joy, and care.
For the damage and debris I've left in my wake,
There's not one excuse I could possibly make.
For this I must carry till the end of my days,
The cold realisation of errors of ways.
For all through this life I've charged at full bore,
A hedonist dream, left washed on the shore.
One non stop party from darkness to light
A sparkling star trail to blaze across night.
Yet no thought did I pay, to those who stood by
My mission was set, I was going to fly.
I could conquer the world, or so I believed,
And possibly even, some of you were deceived.
I had a gift, see. To share with the world
But as it unraveled and fluttered unfurled,
All was not golden, all was not right.
At the young age of twenty I descended to night.
For two score years I wrestled a giant,
Trying to keep him subdued and compliant.
The battle has raged all night and all days
Attempting to keep you all out of harms way.
Depression and anger have been allies close,
I've had my fair share, perhaps more than most.
No reason would fit, no cause could I find
For the trail of destruction that I'd left behind.
Yet all through these years a flicker remained
A part of my soul that could not be tamed.
No job or religion could stop this fire burning,
A deep and relentless unquenchable yearning.
A millennium turned and the madness set in,
The men in white coats were trying to get in.
I was drugged and sedated, beaten and spurned
And yet in my soul this fire still burned.
They tried all they had in slaying the giant
But he just came back more fierce and defiant.
I had to embrace it, I was given no choice
To lose the giant was to surrender my voice.
So midst all the debris washed up on the shore
He took me, the child, and showed me once more.
He gave me a gift, a magical thing.
He taught me to laugh, and to play, and to sing.
This gift knew no bounds, pure energy bright
Endless and ceaseless and huge in it's might.
This gift is a treasure, a true gift indeed
This gift is the child that's locked inside me!
Now all things are clearer, all things make sense
I no longer stand the wrong side of the fence.
It's been there all along but nobody guessed,
Least of all me, I have to confess.
It's bright and it's beautiful, and eternally bold
Though my body might whither it'll never grow old.
I have it to light the rest of my days
And feel life unfolding in magnificent ways.
So now all has reason, and I can find rest
I promise you all that I'll do my best.
Sometimes I will falter, but hope that you'll see
I have a new journey. I have to be me.
For my children
Rob Boardman 11/1/14
