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PLEASE HELP ME

W

Wondering

New Member
Hello, I think I have aspengers syndrome.

Since I was born I was extremely socially akward. Shy, extremely socially anxious.

I am 28 and can't make proper eye contact with anyone, just when I'm drunk.
I cannot smile properly, I look stupid and I avoid smiling.
I cannot hold a proper conversation while someone looks at my face, I just say a little words and fast.

I know it sounds like social anxiety also (had it all my life) but for some reason I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE EYE CONTACT, IT'S EITHER I STARE LIKE AN IDIOT OR I LOOK AWAY ALL THE TIME.

Also, I had a birth defect on my face that was fixed via surgery at age of 14.

And I had severe acne at 15. That caused me also to feel bad.

Do I have aspengers ? please don't tell me to go to doctor, doctors in my country don't know of aspengers.
 
When I began to suspect I had AS I couldn't afford to go to any specialist for testing. My son had a college friend who had a degree in Psych. and was a counsellor and I asked my son what his friend thought I should do. He responded that the online tests are quite good at identifying AS, so I did that. I have never doubted the correctness of the test.
 
AQ test :
Agree: 5,6,9,12,16,18,19,23,26,42,43,46: 1 point
Disagree: 1,11,17,24,28,30,34,38,44,47: 1 point
Score: 22


what does this mean ?
 
Wondering said:
AQ test :
Agree: 5,6,9,12,16,18,19,23,26,42,43,46: 1 point
Disagree: 1,11,17,24,28,30,34,38,44,47: 1 point
Score: 22


what does this mean ?
Click to expand...

  • 0-11 low result – indicating no tendency at all towards autistic traits.
  • 11-21 is the average result that people get (many women average around 15 and men around 17)
  • 22-25 shows autistic tendencies slightly above the population average
  • 26-31 gives a borderline indication of an autism spectrum disorder. It is also possible to have aspergers or mild autism within this range.
  • 32-50 indicates a strong likelihood of Asperger syndrome or autism.
http://www.aspergerstestsite.com/16...ectrum-quotient-aq-test-results/#.VnGmML-wFc8
 
Wondering said:
AQ test :
Agree: 5,6,9,12,16,18,19,23,26,42,43,46: 1 point
Disagree: 1,11,17,24,28,30,34,38,44,47: 1 point
Score: 22


what does this mean ?
Click to expand...
From my report:

"Typically 80% of people with Asperger Syndrome will score 32 or more on the Autism Spectrum Quotient"

I'm diagnosed with Asperger's and my score was 43.
 
So do I have asperger ? please help me. should I do another test ?

Made the test on another page, this time I scored 19 on AQ
 
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Wondering said:
So do I have asperger ? please help me. should I do another test ?
Click to expand...


IMO you cannot objectively diagnose yourself over the results of any one test. There are others...which might help you establish a benchmark of sorts. But it takes more than just tests to really determine if you are on the spectrum of autism.

Spend a LOT of time here reading about the experiences of others. Try to determine if you have similar traits and behaviors that many of us share. Just keep in mind that while we might be similar in some ways, we can be very different in others.

http://www.aspietests.org/raads/
 
That's pretty low for AQ score, I consider mine to be quite low; 31 is the highest I've ever scored and 26 is the lowest. While I do think the AQ test is good, I don't think it's accurate 100% of the time. There's a few other tests you can try, the EQ is another good one, people with autism tend to score below 30 on that as we often lack the ability to recognise when to show empathy to others. There also the FQ - the friendship quotient. Again, people with autism tend to score low on that, I know I did.

Aside from that, try reading a book on it such as Tony Attwood's Complete Guide to Aspergers, and write down what parts have affected you growing up. It's particularly helpful if you can get a parent on board with it as they'll be able to note what you were like as a child.
 
I don't know if this is helpful, but I am recently self diagnosed. I found that after taking the test multiple times throughout the month and always having a score of 32 and above was mostly a consideration. After considering those results I began to do research on "symptoms", then I researched further and began reading personal stories of those with AS. Now I'm reading a couple of books on it. After looking at AS from many different angles I know without a doubt that I in fact do have Asperger's.

So I would recommend you to do the same. Use the test as a tool, but also do further research from many different sources.
 
AQ test : 22 and other AQ test with other questions : 19

EQ score was 62 out of a possible 80 and another EQ test result was http://personality-testing.info/tests/EQSQ.php
:
EQSQi.php

Your Empathizing Quotient is 58. Baron-Cohen (2003) suggests that this means "you have an above average ability for understanding how other people feel and responding appropriately. You know how to treat people with care and sensitivity".

Your Systemizing Quotient is 24. Baron-Cohen (2003) suggests that this means "you have a lower than average ability for analysing and exploring a system".

References:
  • Simon Baron-Cohen (2003). "The Essential Difference". New York: Basic Books.
  • Simon Baron-Cohen and Sally Wheelwright (2004). "The Empathy Quotient: An Investigation of Adults with Asperger Syndrome or High Functioning Autism, and Normal Sex Differences". Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, Vol. 34(2), 162-175.
 
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80% of people with Asperger's score above 32 on the AQ and below 30 on the EQ. You scored below 32 and above 30. Neither of them seem to suggest Asperger's.
 
Hmm, you're probably more in the realms of social anxiety rather than asperger's then. A lot of us suffer social anxiety too so it's not lost on us.

With that being said, those tests aren't supposed to be used to diagnose someone outside of a clinical setting, only to give you an idea if it's worth pursuing a formal diagnosis; no one here can tell you if you're on the spectrum or not.
 
Honestly, my major problems are that I am afraid to laugh (I think I will look funny) and I never laugh... I look stupid.

And also I don't know to mantain eye contact and I feel extremely worried about this, I just feel nervous all time when I look someone in the eyes. But if I am drunk I can keep good eye contact. And I know to read a persons feelings very easy also to understand the persons problems, etc
 
Help me I have become suicidal.

I don't know if I have aspengers syndrome anymore or just social anxiety.

There was a time when I was like a social guru with a few close friends (during age of 12-13-14) I don't remember if I had good eye contact there but many people were withdrown to me.

However I had some MAJOR complexes that left me in this terror. Let's put it more clear :

1. I wish to be with people, at the parties, in the center of atention, whatever but I feel EXTREMELY nervous in those situations.

2. If I make good eye contact I cannot smile proprely because of a complex (I have a big scar on my lip that looks horrible when I laugh) so I avoided laughing normally for 5 - 6 years

When I was in highschool I got in 4 traumatic experiences when I was in front of the class (blush, slurred speech, sweaty hands and visible nervousness that made people think I am shy or retarded) after those experiences I was never the same in a group. When I am in a group my mind almost always gives me the feeling of "EXTREME ALERT" that everyone is seeing my weaknesses.

Now, eye contact was always a problem, I stare too much or I look away too fast. And I don't know if I have aspergers or not, but I understand people reactions/emotions/ideas but I simply cannot put my social interaction into practice because I feel freezed.

I feel extremely suicidal, I don't know what to do in this situation, how can I act normal in a group ?
 
Wondering said:
Help me I have become suicidal.

I don't know if I have aspengers syndrome anymore or just social anxiety.

There was a time when I was like a social guru with a few close friends (during age of 12-13-14) I don't remember if I had good eye contact there but many people were withdrown to me.

However I had some MAJOR complexes that left me in this terror. Let's put it more clear :

1. I wish to be with people, at the parties, in the center of atention, whatever but I feel EXTREMELY nervous in those situations.

2. If I make good eye contact I cannot smile proprely because of a complex (I have a big scar on my lip that looks horrible when I laugh) so I avoided laughing normally for 5 - 6 years

When I was in highschool I got in 4 traumatic experiences when I was in front of the class (blush, slurred speech, sweaty hands and visible nervousness that made people think I am shy or retarded) after those experiences I was never the same in a group. When I am in a group my mind almost always gives me the feeling of "EXTREME ALERT" that everyone is seeing my weaknesses.

Now, eye contact was always a problem, I stare too much or I look away too fast. And I don't know if I have aspergers or not, but I understand people reactions/emotions/ideas but I simply cannot put my social interaction into practice because I feel freezed.

I feel extremely suicidal, I don't know what to do in this situation, how can I act normal in a group ?
Click to expand...
Wondering
Being suicidal is a very serious thing and I think an emergency. Please seek help. That could be through phoning a helpline for support or a doctor/hospital.

You might need some counselling/therapy/medication or a combination so that you can get more mentally stable and not suicidal. Then you can think about how you can socialise in a different and get "unfrozen" in social situations.
 
Wondering, I will share with you what changed my life. My story is similar to yours. I had lots of friends in school, only 2 were really close friends. Later, they all got married including myself and I found it was hard to make new friends. The main reason I had so many friends in school was due to alcohol use. I was a social guru when I was drunk, but I was very depressed.

Thankfully I was told by a youth group leader about how to become a Christian and have a relationship with God. I remember seeing the hope and joy these folks running the youth group had and decided I want that too. These people were not rich and didn't have much, but they had a life of peace and hope and purpose that is hard to describe.

I don't want to force religion on anybody, but I can truly say that without my faith, I would still be a depressed, lost person. I would encourage you at this point to seek out a caring Pastor to talk to and find a church of caring folks to befriend. I think the highlight of my week is going to a small country church each week to worship and learn. I love the people in our church, they don't judge me, they just accept me as I am.

I wish you the best, things will get better, I promise. I am 46 now and each year I get better at coping with life, but I know without a doubt that my faith has been a huge part of getting me through.

I hope this helps.
 
Please, you should seriously seek help, this sounds like nothing to mess around with.

I agree with the others, social anxiety and poor eye contact are often related to Aspergers, but there is much more information needed, and more importantly an experts opinion to diagnose your problem.

Here is a link to the most clearly and detailed assessment guidelines for the DSM 5 ASD criteria that I have found.

https://depts.washington.edu/dbpeds/Screening Tools/DSM-5(ASD.Guidelines)Feb2013.pdf

I also had bad acne as a teenager, which for a long time I blamed for my poor social interaction and development, but I also had lots of other issues that I was not really aware of until later in life. I am concerned about the alcohol use, which has also helped me become much more lively in social situations, though not reliably. I recognized this as a potential problem when I was 19, and since then have always kept my use or alcohol pretty limited, no more than 3 drinks on any occasion. I did go through a couple of years where I used marijuana on an almost daily basis. It also seemed to help my social awkwardness, in fact, caused me to be like a stand up comic. I could have the whole room in stitches laughing. It did, however, cause me some serious "panic attacks", which I had never experienced before, so I quit and haven't tried it for about 20 years.

Again, I urge you to seek help.
 
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