People overload ? I don't know

[Alan tm]

Today was a bad day again .

I'm typing here about it but I have no idea what to say about it .

Ive always worked for myself , in every situation I've tried to have my own control of it .
Some times I was stuck with other people for a few days , at times this became extended .
Then it became very difficult, I don' see myself as putting on a public front till its really pushed for a few days.

Problem is I've ended up working in a sort of retail situation .
The guy I work for doesn't know about my inner battles but from the outside view of me
He thought the job maybe OK for me because the shop doesn't get a lot of people in it mid week.

I was short of money so I had to say yes .

I'm now in a situation where I don't have an escape path anymore.

Some days are worse for me .
Today was a bad day, I was stressing in the empty shop.
I did a few sales to people being as friendly and charming as I could .

But at the first rest gap from this my emotions fell to the floor ,I was to upset to stay in the shop.
I sent a message saying I need to step out so the store will be empty.

I went I to town . The traffic seemed magnifed. I went for food I bought a couple of snacks
The noise was so much , the instructions seemed lost in this noise.
Even buying stuff was upsetting.

People were moving obstacles, I went back to the shop , the quiet of the shop was the least
Distressing place ,even though I had just said I need to get out .

I' not sure what's happening.
Sorry for the long post that seems to go nowhere.

 

[onlything]

You're exhausted and of course you are. Too loud, too much, too vivid. Overload but not only. It will take some time to rest.

What I do when I reach this stage - if it's possible and whenever it is - is to shut myself, preferably in a known place like my room. Without anyone inside. Without any lights. Without any sounds. Sleep if possible, cry if needed, rock and bang if required.

You need to give yourself time to recuperate but I know how hard it can be to get some.

 

[Alan tm]

I was almost crying today that people would see , so I had to get out of the shop .
I sleep really bad .
I'm part time so 2 more days to go .

I stay by myself a lot anyway .

 

[Lady Penelope]

Are you able to set aside break times?
"Back in 5 mins" or "gone for lunch, back in an hour"?

It sounds like you need to schedule some down time.
Need to do something relaxing or stress relieving.
Even if it is sitting somewhere quiet and not doing anything.

I think the worst thing I can do in these types of overloads is go be near more people, even if I'm not interacting with them.

When you get home you might benefit from doing calming activities... listening to music, patting an animal, having a bath (if that's your thing), walking in the park, low exercise, breathing techniques, meditation, yoga, etc.

Can you listen to music in the store?

 

[Alan tm]

I can' leave the store, its' the kind place where , if you leave you miss random people buying so I can't really leave or even get out of the main area.
It's A place where there is no dinner break. It goes through.
The place can't close whwn people are in their free moment's.
I can't listen to much in the shop, people wander in and it' hard to shut it down.

Sleep for me has always been very difficult, when I do sleep my dreams are exhausting.

After 3 days of shop I'm burnt out, then if I see my partner at the weekend that burns me out. I hate trying to sleep in a strange bed . Next thing it'
Monday again .

I can't Just say to all these people Stop I want to get off this train.

I have no idea how people cope

 

[Alan tm]

I don't do well with animals , there are 2 dogs here . I feel they are totally disappointed if they are left with just me in the room.
Sounds odd but seems that way

 

[Chance]

Alan,
Welcome...

I feel like I am reading some of my older posts.
I was (and still am at times) my own worst nightmare.

Letting it out helped me more than anything and then I could start to think again, rest again, and work on figuring out how to rebuild my life...

You’re in good company, as long as you understand some of us (speaking for myself) know how you feel... not your exact situation, but the way it feels to have to struggle through it.

It’s ebb and flow, just don’t forget that
Also know you, and me, and every one else are stronger than we think we are.

Let it out, get some rest, and know things can get better.

 

[Alan tm]

I got through school because everyone was working on their own things in lessons and I could get away from them at breaks.

I was told aspies don’t get anxiety because they don’t care about social interaction.

 

[Chance]

I got through school because everyone was working on their own things in lessons and I could get away from them at breaks.

I was told aspies don’t get anxiety because they don’t care about social interaction.

I might be told I am wrong... But I don't think so. I think a bunch of people will agree with me and countless texts on the subject will say YOU WERE TOLD WRONG!

I am ASD and I have suffered anxiety and panic attacks on levels that put me in the ER. From there I got extremely depressed and they me referred to a Psychologist (which is how I got unexpectedly diagnosed with ASD) and a bunch of other stuff...

Your first post had me picturing in my head... nearly a combination of a massive panic attack and a shutdown - all happening at the same time... You have no idea the compassion I wish I could give to you, (and I do) but that fixes nothing. Facing it, and then learning to deal with it, that is where the relief comes from. KNOWING this is not going to rule who you are, is a good first step.

We become what we dwell on... So we (myself very much included) have to look at what we worry over, and its not easy, but its there just in how we think.

 

[Alan tm]

It was a random person that told me that , at the same time they said people are aspergers because it' a hip and trendy thing to do these days ( this was about 8 years ago )

I've never told anyone about my problems, I've had social anxiety things ,depression all my life even some minor self harm . But it's secret to everyone around me . That's why I hear these things thats' talked about the subject in front of me .
I'm not being very hip and trendy by being silent .

I only ran in to social problems when I dated, all other times I've built my life to avoid situations . Apart from the shop.

I don't want a public label, I know how horrible people can be