''Panicking'' with strangers

[aspiemommy]

Hey everyone!

So my son is nearly 3 and has always been quite ''sensitive'' when strangers would look or talk to him. It's 100 times worse when they touch him.

We've been taking him to a playgroup twice a week and he is doing quite good at interacting with others. However as soon as another mom talks to him he goes insane. He screams, throw himself on the ground, hurts himself (bangs his head on the floor or hit himself) or if he happens to be in our arms he will hurt us and screams murder like someone is hurting him.

It is very difficult to deal with this... I don't really know what to do or even what to say to people. For now, I just say I'm sorry he's in a bad mood this morning or he needs a nap...

Do you have any children that are like this? Or were you like this ? (still?)
I could really use a few tips... I wanna make him comfortable with others, because obviously he isn't...

Ps: this only happens with adults, he doesn't do this when it's a child he doesn't know.

Thanks so much xxx

 

[142857]

My son didn't like people touching him at that age, and he still doesn't. He would take an instant like to people who showed an interest in his toy cars though.

I'd suggest lots of time with your son just hanging around shopping malls or other places where he can see a lot of strangers who he doesn't have to interact with. My son shows a lot of aspie traits quite strongly but he was socialised right from the time he was a baby and he is actually very confident around people now, although he still doesn't have any real social skills if that makes any sense. One thing for sure is that he is never lost for words.

 

[aspiemommy]

Thanks for your reply! We have been socializing him ever since he was a baby... We take him everywhere, he's already flown around the world 3 times! He wasn't as scared as he is now, even quite ''happy'' with strangers talking to him, he would smile back up until about 13 month...

He's exactly the same as your son, if someone shows interest in his cars (he ALWAYS has a hotwheels in his hand) he will kinda like that person right away (well tolerate them more)

xx

 

[142857]

Good, it sounds like you are on the right track.

I think it is important not to make a big deal of it. Pushing to do something he is obviously very uncomfortable with (interacting with strangers) is just going to make it worse.

You do need to do what you can to prevent him from hurting himself, obviously.

 

[jaws]

I'm not sure what this is worth, but you might try to pay close attention to the particular adults that set him off. I know it might seem like all of them, but it also sounds like a sensory issue. Myself, there are some people whose tone/pitch is quite nerve racking...and there are others whose makeup or cologne severely agitates my allergies to the point I can't breathe and my vision blurs.