Packaging yourself...

[eon]

So After a whole year... or more... of being an aspie-discovered self.


It occurred to me that it didn't make sense to share my aspie interest with everyone.


Instead, I should package myself.

Explain to them who I am by my personality.

Not sure why it took that long when that's what Dr. Attwood has always recommended.

It just suddenly appeared in my mind. that odd idea.

anyway here's two variants of what popped out

I am someone who: *has a very analytical problem solving thought process. *is not very skilled in small talk or other social rituals. *is very good at learning and repeating information and processes. *has trouble concentrating in loud environments. *has a strong dedication to consistency and fairness. *has a very strong vocabulary and a passion for detail, facts, and specificity

That's version 1. Original idea moment.

Version 2 is the impromptu re-write that occurred when I posted this self-redefinition ideal into my LJ.

I am the kind of person who:

Heavily values detail & critical reasoning
Has a strong dedication to consistency and fairness
Approaches problem solving abstractly
Can be distracted or irritated by noise and social clout
Has a strong vocabulary and use of detailed language to communicate, especially favoring written communication
Does not place importance on social rituals or formalities

 

[juffur]

If you are doing this for work, avoid stating anything negative about yourself, such as "is not very skilled in small talk or other social rituals.".

Most employers will simply delete your resume if they see that..

 

[King_Oni]

It's the odd thing; they don't want to read about negatives, however, the truth is, they don't want to see negatives. So if you don't tell about any "quirks" you have, make sure you don't show them as well. And that's the hard part I guess. Because if you can manage that, I don't see why you couldn't "just fit in".

 

[kasmanaft08]

Well, of course, you don't want to lie about anything that you won't be able to hide. So if it's regarding employment, what I always did was simply don't mention it. I highlighted the self-starting/organization/fast learner qualities the most, and just avoided the social stuff (except I did admit in interviews I don't go partying or clubbing). Think about what you would look for if you hired someone.

That sort of thing.

 

[King_Oni]

Think about what you would look for if you hired someone.

That would be the entire problem :lol:

I mean, the abstractness and the entire "you're here to do your job, nothing else" doesn't apply to most interviews. It's the same as a discussion I usually have about physical presentation at an interview; I'm here to do a job, not to look pretty. My example wouldn't be written like eon did, but the entire "what you would look for" doesn't reflect, what the outside world is always about.

 

[eon]

true, you'd modify it if you were to be packaging self in a marketing fashion.

i'm doing as more of a product documentation fashion. in my work environment, they provide context for supplying management with the worker's preferences toward how that working relationship forms up. mainly its a culture of trying to be aware of the different learning styles and working styles of everyone's peers..

 

[kasmanaft08]

That would be the entire problem :lol:

I mean, the abstractness and the entire "you're here to do your job, nothing else" doesn't apply to most interviews. It's the same as a discussion I usually have about physical presentation at an interview; I'm here to do a job, not to look pretty. My example wouldn't be written like eon did, but the entire "what you would look for" doesn't reflect, what the outside world is always about.

Lol True, but maybe it's a bit different for me, since I've done hiring for jobs before. Everyone looks for different things, but I think there's a few basics- like be polite and say positive things. Most people just want to hire someone fast that seems cool to work with and is trustworthy. If someone nitpicked on how you looked [unless you straight up didn't bathe for a week before the interview], I'd argue that to be a sign of a horrible work environment [or boss] judging from experience.

My biggest pet peeve though were cocky/fake people. I had a guy in an interview once who attempted the "charm through honesty approach" and said he got fired from his last job because he was consistently hours late. The only reason he wanted a new job was to help pay for his expensive lifestyle. I felt he could have just kept it to himself, seeing as I didn't ask. He also felt he could make up for his faults through extremely transparent compliments and expensive clothes.

Other things that bothered me, though:

-I often watched people before they came in [mostly because I hated doing interviews]. If you are rude to the staff, that's an instant no.

-I really hated when people asked for a job with their friends, or came to an interview with their friends waiting. I'm not sure why, but it's really annoying.

-I actually prefered someone who dresses as they do normally (I'm aware I'm probably a minority here). because most interview clothes really says nothing about you. [and most jobs, you'll have a uniform anyway. Caring about what you wear to an interview is sort of irrellevant in my opinion.] The only thing I'd say is, bathe and make sure you wear something in good condition. A hoodie is probably a better option than a fishnet shirt for example.

I will say that, as long as you know what to say and what to keep quiet about, being honest about some of your Asperger traits shouldn't hurt you.

Unfortunately because the economy is a mess, it's harder to get job interviews and let you do some weeding out. It also makes people feel like they can be more picky and lazy with who they hire.

That's my outlook anyway. I could be a minority, though, and it's hard for me to speak because I don't particularly look "alternative", so I haven't exactly had that prejudice work against me.

 

[King_Oni]

I do agree with you on the stuff that bothered you Kas...

But then again, "what is rude?" I almost could claim there's 5 kinds of behaviour one could show. 1. Obnoxious, 2. Rude, 3. Neutral, 4. Friendly, 5. well... "over-"friendly. I found out that only 4 works. 1 and 2 obviously don't... 5, it looks rather insincere. I usually act naturally as a 3. I do say "Hello" to someone, I try to just act "normal"... but then again, "how does one act normal?" I've had people tell me this at employment offices, to where I pointed out "is there a place I can learn how I act normal". I got booted out, because they actually thought I was the physical form of what one would call "an internet-troll". But I meant it in all sincerity. I've been told, that even at employment offices, "don't ask that kind of questions...not even at an such an office, because those are "odd" questions". No they're not odd, they're just clouded in vagueness and they don't understand (willingly or just unknown) that some people have troubles with this kind of behaviour... and in result would, if they'd be more informed, probably would state "well, keep those people out of the employment offices, those are not fit to work just anywhere". But yeah, I've seen people act rude on interviews... but those are the same people that act "rude" in any way. It's usually the lower-class people... probably, something along what might be stereotyped as "a redneck", who just don't haven't learned how to use "neutral" language. It is however, that "neutral" isn't prefered... it's that they expect you to be a sunshine... and I'm not like that for most of the time in my sparetime, and I can't put on a mask for an interview either. That doesn't mean I'm not fun to work with... I've heard nothing but compliments from a lot of people who told me "you're the coolest and nicest guy I ever worked with". But apparently employers have a different opinion on this, than employees.

As for people with friends... I once had my mom drive me there... it's kinda the same thing I guess. But I told her to wait in the car... I don't know what her business is, sitting inside at some company... and that goes the same for friends I guess. Even more so if you have a group of friends along... is that your posse? >.<

As for the entire clothing issue; I never dressed differently on an interview... I call it honesty. I mean, if I have a strong liking for say... skull motifs, why am I not able to wear that? If it's a shirt, fabricated like nothing else, it's the print and not the piece of clothing that puts you off. Also; the principel of wearing a shirt or some kind of polo shirt, or a blouse... or whatever, the principle still is "it covers your upperbody and probably your upper arms. But that's probably me just rambling about "the bare essentials" (pun intended). I agree, most jobs have uniforms anyway. I once had an argument with someone at an employment center, who told me I dressed way to "artsy". My messengerbag has an intricate skullmotif on it (but it's only visible if you look, really, really close, otherwise, it's just a black/blue/white blur), I had a hoodie made of some odd designer fabric, I did shave... but I prefer to have my beards and all in some kind of "design" (nothing to extreme IMO), and just by judging on that, they'd thought I'd be hard to fit in anywhere. Because my clothing style apparently reflected how I am; as they thought I was well... "sophisticated" and "trendy" at the same time, and people with matching interests to such a lifestyle didn't fit in with "simple" assembly line "folks". I mean, even if I were to wear something more "neutral"... that would include a. going to the store, to obtain a job, by means of buying new stuff I will only wear once (which I never do) and b. presenting myself to land a job, by someone I'm not. I once had a job, where I tried the "neutral" route and got fired the next day because they thought I looked off and "not bland" enough. And that might be only because of the way I had my beard, lol. I don't care for clothing at work, but some stuff, I do enjoy for weekends. And if I enjoy my hair being green... it's not that I can change that like I change my pants each day. But nowadays, I also feel, that employees don't hire people because they don't match said company's "mentality" or "mindset". If I work to earn money and have fun in weekends, there's company's that rather want people that are "settled down".. but at the same time, they want 20 year olds...

Though, with all this, I never said anything, that wasn't relevant. I answered questions they asked, nothing more, nothing less. I never got into the entire "well, you know... I like this and this"... it's not relevant, if they want to know, they can ask.

But yeah... that's just my experience with the entire deal, though if people/employees were more like you described Kas... it would be a bit easier I guess.

As for the original topic of discussion here;

The idea itself is good, I toyed with the thought a bit, yet I in a way, came to see the best aspects about me, are something most people aren't comfy with lol. It's depressing -_- I might see if I can come up with a solid list like the one eon has written.

 

[kasmanaft08]

I do agree with you on the stuff that bothered you Kas...

But then again, "what is rude?" I almost could claim there's 5 kinds of behaviour one could show. 1. Obnoxious, 2. Rude, 3. Neutral, 4. Friendly, 5. well... "over-"friendly. I found out that only 4 works. 1 and 2 obviously don't... 5, it looks rather insincere. I usually act naturally as a 3. I do say "Hello" to someone, I try to just act "normal"... but then again, "how does one act normal?" I've had people tell me this at employment offices, to where I pointed out "is there a place I can learn how I act normal". I got booted out, because they actually thought I was the physical form of what one would call "an internet-troll". But I meant it in all sincerity. I've been told, that even at employment offices, "don't ask that kind of questions...not even at an such an office, because those are "odd" questions".

I have to admit that I also have had some disagreements at what's considered rude and bitchy. My stubborn opinion, however, is that people put far too many social regulations on what's considered rude. I think rude is anything that's purposeful and inconsiderate [basically a step under mean]. Rude is not by accident. Rude is not neutral, either.
But that's my opinion. I think people worry about these things far too much in ze real world.

I would, hands down, take neutral or quiet or aloof over rude, fake or obnoxious. That goes for any job, in my opinion. Even jobs like sales. I think it's quite dumb for employers to make a big deal of it and opt for the corporate friendly fakery. I don't like to be bothered and overwhelmed while shopping, for one [and will instantly walk out if I am]. And for two, the type of customer to complain about someone being neutral and not kissing ass is the type of person who pretty much complains about everything, ever.

As for people with friends... I once had my mom drive me there... it's kinda the same thing I guess. But I told her to wait in the car... I don't know what her business is, sitting inside at some company... and that goes the same for friends I guess. Even more so if you have a group of friends along... is that your posse? >.<

And that- I could never pinpoint why that bothered me, but that posse comment pretty much sums it up perfectly. If they waited outside [or even on the other side of the room] I wouldn't have cared.

As for the entire clothing issue; I never dressed differently on an interview... I call it honesty. I mean, if I have a strong liking for say... skull motifs, why am I not able to wear that? If it's a shirt, fabricated like nothing else, it's the print and not the piece of clothing that puts you off. Also; the principel of wearing a shirt or some kind of polo shirt, or a blouse... or whatever, the principle still is "it covers your upperbody and probably your upper arms. But that's probably me just rambling about "the bare essentials" (pun intended). I agree, most jobs have uniforms anyway. I once had an argument with someone at an employment center, who told me I dressed way to "artsy". My messengerbag has an intricate skullmotif on it (but it's only visible if you look, really, really close, otherwise, it's just a black/blue/white blur), I had a hoodie made of some odd designer fabric, I did shave... but I prefer to have my beards and all in some kind of "design" (nothing to extreme IMO), and just by judging on that, they'd thought I'd be hard to fit in anywhere. Because my clothing style apparently reflected how I am; as they thought I was well...

The goth/alternative/artsy prejudice thing, I never understood to be honest. I'll stress (again) that most jobs have a uniform or dress code, so that's irrelevant immediately. And goths/arsty people also looked more conservative than, say, some girl who dresses skanky or a guy who dresses like something from Jersey Shore. I find that far worse and much more unprofessional than someone who just happens to dress all in black or wear skulls or piercings. Honestly, from your description, I don't see how that was an issue.

But then again, I'm often shocked at who people hire.


My apologies if I'm steering off topic. I type and lose track sometimes.

 

[Spinning Compass]

I just got back from an International Association of Administrative Professionals (IAAP) meeting where the speaker discussed networking. As an Aspie, I'm not very social and I felt a bit intimidated as she described how to "work" a room and make contacts. I wanted to bolt to the door. But, I made myself stay put and paid very close attention to what she had to say, because what she had to say is important.

I guess the issue here is one of facing reality. You can go through life insisting that the world adapt to you (in that case be prepared for an extended stay on the unemployment line and a lifetime of gripes of how the world is so unfair), or you can find ways of adapting to the world. It's really that simple. If you want to succeed at anything you have to know what the rules of that particular game are. It's no use insisting that you be allowed to use basketball rules when the game is football. If you are looking for work in a particular field, then if you want to get in, you have to go by the rules. Hey, it's life. Yes, sometimes the rules are silly. Sometimes they seem fake. But, you have to decide what it is that you really want to do. For myself, I like my current lifestyle too much that I want to risk unemployment by insisting on being "myself". There are a lot of people I know who are "themselves". Most of them are poor. And I have seen way too much of the poverty lifestyle up close and personal to have anything positive to say about it. Poverty stinks. Pure and simple. As someone once said, the best thing you can do to help the poor is not to become one of them yourself. So yes, I willingly choose a little fakery if it means avoiding poverty.