Loneliness

[ExplosiveTMT]

I did feel lonely/misunderstood when someone asked 'what's wrong?' and I told them, only to be told that 'it isn't THAT big of a deal' or 'harden up', instead of being given advice on how to deal with it.
(And usually it got me even more upset)

It doesn't happen a lot nowadays since I have better support.

 

[Harrison]

I find life a little ironic these days,
In pursuit of fitting in to the NT world, I watch, learn and mimic behavior to blend in. Sometimes, Im so good at it, I even convince myself Im lonely, or that I need friends. Its only in times of attempting friendship, do I realize that Ive immersed myself, too deep into the role. The pain and discomfort of maintaining this deception, can not be sustained, without some sort of meltdown. Only then, do I realize that loneliness, Is far less tiring, than the expectation of others. The only friendship Im interested in, at the moment, are with those of my own kind...

My thoughts precisely.

I have been fortunate enough to have met fellow aspis over the years, and it is only when they leave that I experience pangs of loneliness.

 

[The Penguin]

Yes I do when I am around family. They act like I am not there. I don't see family anymore so I don't need to worry about this.

 

[Randomperson]

I have been alone for 3 decades now, I do not know if I feel lonely, all I know is I have always been alone. Perhaps it is the lack of perspective of haveing never had a friend or a positive relationship with another human being, or perhaps I am simply fine with always being alone. But I do not think it is the latter since I still feel the occasional urge to reach out, like joining this forum, and the post I made asking about resources on learning about socializing and making friends. I may be devoid of all emotional instincts when it comes to making friends, but something deep in the pit of my psych still wants me to try and not be alone all of the time.

 

[Effy]

I always feel lonely, and I crave connection and having a romantic partner, but meh... there's always something wrong with them, e.g. they want to be affectionate and put their arms around me, etc., you know, touch me. Ugh. And then I remember I'm single by choice.

That doesn't shake the lonely feeling, though.

 

[o2tosin]

Being alone has different nuances. 90% of the time, I am very content with my own company. 10% of the time alone is a little unpleasant. I have lived alone for the last nine years, and been married to a gold digger for 9 years before that. My current state feels much more natural than marriage- there was too much difference in social life needs. Marriage "bought out the worst in me". I am beginning to think more like a hermit- I am spending increasing time in contemplation and meditation. After doing a 10 day Vipassana retreat last year, I have a completely different appreciation of the nature of the mind and its potential. BTW Vipassana is very aspie friendly- silence, no body language for 10 days!

 

[Effy]

Being alone has different nuances. 90% of the time, I am very content with my own company. 10% of the time alone is a little unpleasant. I have lived alone for the last nine years, and been married to a gold digger for 9 years before that. My current state feels much more natural than marriage- there was too much difference in social life needs. Marriage "bought out the worst in me". I am beginning to think more like a hermit- I am spending increasing time in contemplation and meditation. After doing a 10 day Vipassana retreat last year, I have a completely different appreciation of the nature of the mind and its potential. BTW Vipassana is very aspie friendly- silence, no body language for 10 days!

I think I was invited to one of those retreats, but I declined, because I dislike having to be silent. I do that on my own - at my own will.

 

[Randomperson]

I always feel lonely, and I crave connection and having a romantic partner, but meh... there's always something wrong with them, e.g. they want to be affectionate and put their arms around me, etc., you know, touch me. Ugh. And then I remember I'm single by choice.

That doesn't shake the lonely feeling, though.

Better single by choice then

I think I was invited to one of those retreats, but I declined, because I dislike having to be silent. I do that on my own - at my own will.

Well, at least people invite you to things, for someone who is not invited to anything, that sounds nice.

 

[o2tosin]

Effy, I understand. It is part of the exercise to be silent- otherwise the meditation does not work. It does require discipline. None of the rules are there gratuitously, they are to facilitate the process. What I found amusing, is that all the other people were NT BEHAVING like severe Aspies! For the first time, my natural behaviour fitted beautifully with the other 50 meditators. Vipassana is kind of like a mental first aid that is very useful combating mood swings, anxiety and insomnia/grief. It helped me through the grief of my Mother's death 3 months ago.

 

[Effy]

Effy, I understand. It is part of the exercise to be silent- otherwise the meditation does not work. It does require discipline. None of the rules are there gratuitously, they are to facilitate the process. What I found amusing, is that all the other people were NT BEHAVING like severe Aspies! For the first time, my natural behaviour fitted beautifully with the other 50 meditators. Vipassana is kind of like a mental first aid that is very useful combating mood swings, anxiety and insomnia/grief. It helped me through the grief of my Mother's death 3 months ago.

I don't grieve. The meditation and whatnot doesn't work, need it discipline or not, because my PTSD acts up if I'm left to my own thoughts for too long. I also despise silence in masses.

 

[Andrew206]

Even when I'm in a setting with friends, I still feel alone. I struggle with initiating conversations. It's usually because I don't know what I should talk about.

 

[Etzelaire]

There's few people whose company really fill that void of loneliness for me. And when I find someone who achieves this I try not to talk so much or, you know, not to bother them cause maybe they'll think I don't give them a break