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Living in a studio with a roommate.

Spam

Spam

Well-Known Member
Holy crap.
Living with another human being in a small space has never made me more angry and in the need to shut down than the last 3 months they have lived with me. Not knowing I was an aspie and extremely hypersensitive to well... everything really put me in a tough spot.
He wakes me up... constantly. I work third shift and even the opening or closing of a door wakes me up.
He wakes me up on nights before I go to school... by coming home at 3am... it sends me fuming and really pisses me off.
I wear ear plugs to try and cope but all they do is hurt my ears. So yeah I get sleep but I'm also in pain with every pulse in my ear. I don't care much about the boundary thing anymore. I blocked off my area and he never goes in it. So good there it's just noise.
The smallest noises from him wake me up.
I constantly feel pissed off and angry. Help.
I always feel tense in my own home.
He does try to keep quiet but to no avail.
He's moving out in a month.
What do I do? ):
 
Endure it. If he's moving out in a month, I really don't see the point in picking a fight and making the situation worse. Perhaps you could invest in a white noise machine.
 
You might need a place you live on your own with no roommates if an option. I know I could never get a long with roommates. I am sensitive to noise myself.
 
The Penguin said:
You might need a place you live on your own with no roommates if an option. I know I could never get a long with roommates. I am sensitive to noise myself.
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Like I said he's moving out in a month I just need to find a healthy way to cope til then.
 
Maybe some humor will help, but as I read your post I noticed my leg was shaking, which was making my hand shake, which was causing the mouse to move. The finger icon was coincidentally resting over penguin's avatar as I read, and it looked like I was picking his nose (beak?) with the mouse icon (a finger when on an avatar). Good times.

As to your issue, is there someone you could crash with temporarily who is easier to live with than your current roommate?
 
icesyckel said:
If you just need a temporary break, then maybe get a hotel room for a day/night to rest.
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To your first post no there isnt. I don't sleep well at other people's places however the hotel idea may be plausible. Thanks :)
 
icesyckel said:
Anything to help! I've had bad roomies myself. Nightmare.
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The thing is, I feel bad because he does try to be super quiet and being in one large space it's hard for him to be totally quiet. I mean he knew it was gonna be hard with me being on third shift. And then I've added school and another job on top of that so sleep has become even more important. We are both tense because he wants to come and goes as he pleases. But coming home at 3am when I have school can be super frustrating...
 
It's not that I think your're attacking your roomie, Spam, but a roomie is "bad" when the living situation is unworkable. I've lived with friends who I learned I can't live with. We can hang out, but they have to sleep elsewhere. Being on the spectrum, you've got needs. Living in one open space with someone else is understandably not going to work, no matter how "nice" he is.
 
icesyckel said:
It's not that I think your're attacking your roomie, Spam, but a roomie is "bad" when the living situation is unworkable. I've lived with friends who I learned I can't live with. We can hang out, but they have to sleep elsewhere. Being on the spectrum, you've got needs. Living in one open space with someone else is understandably not going to work, no matter how "nice" he is.
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I really wish I knew before he moved in, however, I never would've found out without him. He's the reason I started seeing a therapist. So being on my own and an only child my whole life and then suddenly having someone in my space really was an eye opener. I'm grateful... but I'll never do something like this again!
 
Spam said:
I really wish I knew before he moved in, however, I never would've found out without him. He's the reason I started seeing a therapist. So being on my own and an only child my whole life and then suddenly having someone in my space really was an eye opener. I'm grateful... but I'll never do something like this again!
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You found something good in a bad/difficult situation. Now, that is what I call "high functioning." Go Spam. Kudos, btw, for going to get help. Too many peeps let "pride" keep them from admitting they need to talk to someone, which is ... well, silly.
 
icesyckel said:
You found something good in a bad/difficult situation. Now, that is what I call "high functioning." Go Spam. Kudos, btw, for going to get help. Too many peeps let "pride" keep them from admitting they need to talk to someone, which is ... well, silly.
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I knew something was wrong when I had a really really bad meltdown. It spooked me so much that I absolutely had to! Didn't expect the result I got though haha. Thanks though :)
 
You know, if you get the meltdowns really bad, then there is research suggesting that altering your serotonin levels can help. I'm not much of a drug enthusiast, but if it can improve your quality of life, then you might discuss the possibility with your therapist.

Regardless, as I said, glad to help where I can.
 
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