is this Asperger’s?

[Rami1984]

My father in law is a special character. I always felt that he was different, had clumsy movements and I never quite understood his conversations. He is extremely socially awkward. The sad part is that he was an extremely bad husband and father. He never held one of his 3 children, or hugged any of them, or attended any of their birthdays or school events. He never took them out anywhere. He never spent his money on them and barely gave his wife enough money for food. His children had to work hard to make a living while he was living in the same house. Recently they discovered that he had a big bank account and he gave out most of his money to strangers while his sick wife doesn’t have money for her meds!!! He knows nothing about his children and he never bothers to ask. He would get bothered if someone eats one of the apples he bought!! He never bought his wife or his children any gifts. He has parkinsons now and his son is taking care of him, but he still complains that he is treated badly if his son lashes out. I don’t understand this feeling of entitlement while he never provided anything in return. His son does lash out but it is an accumulation of resentment and feeling under appreciated by his dad. He put a huge emotional toll on his whole family, keeping in mind that his wife was pretty much forced to marry him, and doesnt love him, but still treats him extremely well.

 

[Catana]

He might possibly have asperger's, but nothing you wrote specifically indicates that. It sounds as if he is just your typical self-centered asshole.

 

[DesertRose]

I know someone similar to that. I always thought it was A$$holiosis. It tends to cause a lot of bitterness, cynicism and pain in their families. I'm sorry, this man may have had a similar bringing up and simply doesn't know any other way of how to act or respond to children and family. It does sound as if he has some deep set issues with relationships.

 

[OlLiE]

so you are extrapolating socially awkward, to awful person to autism

some autistic people are assholes
not all assholes are autistic

 

[Adora]

I can’t determine if he has Aspergers or not but regardless if he is or isn’t there is no excuse in treating his wife and children that way,my dad was abusive and at times let us go hungry while he drank the food and rent money away and he wasn’t on the spectrum but he did have other issues,I think your father in law is just a selfish and neglectful person and it’s sad that his wife was force to marry him and his kids don’t have a father who shows them any warmth because it’s important for children to have a good father because I know from experience what living with a abusive parent can do to your mental health.

 

[DesertRose]

I really should not have said that. I apologize. It's just that like Adora said, there's no excuse for a man not taking care of his family and being an @$$. That is what I was referring to, aspergers can learn to be civil. Anyone can learn to be civil and polite, a screw up here and there is acceptable but emotional, physical and mental abuse is definitely not.

 

[DesertRose]

so you are extrapolating socially awkward, to awful person to autism

some autistic people are assholes
not all assholes are autistic

Some NT'S are @$$holes, not all are, let's change that, LOL, some (maybe a lot) of humans are @$$holes, but not all. (Unless you're having a really bad day, then everyone can be one, even ourselves!) xD

 

[Bronzelincolns]

could be AS, could be the guy is a jerk, or a combination of the 2.

 

[albinoblanke]

Sounds more like he might be a sociopath. Someone who has autism likely cannot love someone and still treat them bad because most autistics already have trouble handling one emotion at the time, let alone feeling one emotion but acting like you don't or have none. Feeling entitlement without the right or reasons for it is a characteristic of a sociopath.