Is it obvious that you are aspergic

[Harrison]

As an extrovert aspie and someone who learnt to wear masks way before I was diagnosed, I find most people don't spot me unless they have some experience of dealing with ASD. My aspieness shows more when I'm tired and can't be bothered to 'suit up', or if someone triggers my special interests. As Judge said, the majority of Joe Public have no idea of spectrum disorders.

 

[wyverary]

I've been told various things. Some said that I seemed so shy and quiet but once they got to talking to me they found me interesting and fun to talk to. On the opposite end, at least one person has told me that when she met me I seemed so gregarious and personable. Of course, that time, I had had a few drinks in me... In the past I think it's been more obvious, but over the years I've learned to hide it well, following scripts, learning social cues, etc. A long journey, to be sure, but I still much prefer to be myself as much as possible.

 

[Princezz]

I think that it should be obvious to people that I have Aspergers, since I can get stressed a lot, and I can get easily upset and cry a lot. Sometimes I'll scream either if I'm very angry or stressed, or both. I also get easily irritated by a number of sounds, and I'm very shy. And yet I STILL have to explain to people that "Sorry, I have Aspergers." They might have guessed already, but since they did'nt ask...

 

[AsheSkyler]

Nobody has ever suggested I have a disorder of some kind. Eh, except for really nasty people, but that's just nasty people. When I was a teen, I often got asked if I was on crack. I know I'm energetic and twitch a lot, but cocaine??

 

[Leej07]

I don't have an "official" diagnosis, and yes, I'm always afraid I might be a fraudulent Aspie. I mean, my own family doesn't see the signs that seem so obvious to me, they just pass it off as my ADHD... so maybe... maybe this is all just ADHD on my part.

 

[Leej07]

My fear is that I'm just a hypochondriac... That it's all in my head, that I'm fooling myself... I don't wanna be a fake... But I need to be honest with myself. I'm fooling myself, aren't I? I'm just a pretender. ADHD wasn't enough, I gotta have other stuff, too. *sigh* I'm sorry... These doubts overwhelm me... ;(

 

[fredvizsla]

I get into arguments with people who know me but refuse to believe I'm Asperger. I try to explain beginning with; I was diagnosed, and by a "real" doctor. Then I ask them, why do you think I'm a recluse? Why do I avoid social situations? They usually have an Asperger in the family or have worked with a typical male Asperger and don't understand that there are female Aspergers and that we have different characteristics. That seems to settle it, but you know, you just can't know what they are thinking.

 

[JBAbbott]

I have only had one person my whole life figure that out. My parents kept that detail from me. I knew I was thought differently, and took pride in that, as does my Father but only realized what "different" meant in my late 40s. My step son's wife is a teacher who specializes in autism students. She knew immediately after meeting an adult with Aspergers in class.

 

[Unspired]

I think there are many aspies who appear neurotypical at first glance.

I actually can act pretty normal socially and appear like a neurotypical 17-year-old, as I know the slang, the walk, the manner of speaking, etc., and can act pretty well. Before figuring things out socially, I was incredibly awkward and shy. For me, acting less awkward was like learning a new language, but after enough awkward conversations, I've finally figured it out a little bit.

 

[MicroWeiss]

I ask, because very recently, saw a video where a chap has turned his home, into a paradise for his cat and read that he was diagnosed with aspergers. To be honest, it was pretty obvious he was handicapped and that made me think: Ok, so if that is the case, then, I cannot have aspergers because I look normal.

Yes, it is worrying me, because, at last, I feel free (to a certain extent), less alien.

I do fear that I am a fraud, especially as I have decided to not get officially diagnosed, for I want those who know me, to take my word for it. My husband, at last said that he believes me and so, nth at is good enough for me, but if one is supposed to look handicapped, then, I have to think again.

In nearly all areas, I fit like a glove, but for looking normal

It seems doubtful to me that no one has ever noticed me walking around flailing my hands around in a twisting motion, since I do it a lot unconsciously. Sometimes when I am aware that I want to do it, I will sort of check if anyone is around to avoid drawing attention. I think the most anyone ever noticed it was when I was standing outside with a youth pastor feeling nervous about spending time with other young people I started twisting my hands, and he walked over and stood in front of me and started twisting his hands (sort of unnatural looking on his part), but mimicking me, and i was really surprised. Mostly people have suggested that I am robot-like, melancholy, quiet, a little -too- detailed. One guy was being a jerk once and hinted that he thought I was schizo, but he wasn't one of the brightest people. But I think I get away with stimming by running fabric between my fingers all the time. Some people might notice, but no one ever says anything. At work in my industry we have parts with long detailed model numbers. I am often the only one who knows pretty much what all the numbers mean. I am surprised that other people seem to avoid understanding them, but i suppose there are hundreds of parts and it might seem trivial to all the big picture people. I worked at walmart once though, and I can say I wasn't the least bit interested in memorizing produce numbers. Associating numbers to vegetables was just not fun for me.

 

[Cecile]

Do people automatically recognise there is something "not right about you"?

No. I have met Aspies (diagnosed and self-diagnosed), talked with them, etc., and wouldn't have known if they had not told me. I have dated an Aspie, and I had no clue at first, I thought he was just a bit eccentric -- I have worked in the field of independent arts for years, so I am used to "unusual". I do remember telling him early on: "you're mysterious, like a house with a hidden room... it's like there's something that cannot get in there/that cannot get out from there". Then at one point he experienced sensory issues during intimacy, and from there on there were things in his behavior that "alarmed" me.

 

[Leej07]

I've had Aspies tell me I act like an Aspie, my family blame it all on my ADHD, and NTs tell me I'm odd, but that's it... I get so many conflicting things, I that I seesaw back and forth, somedays convinced I *must* be an Aspie, other days believing I'm just a fraud, looking for attention. It gets disconcerting... but what can do?

 

[Cecile]

As an extrovert aspie and someone who learnt to wear masks way before I was diagnosed, I find most people don't spot me unless they have some experience of dealing with ASD. My aspieness shows more when I'm tired and can't be bothered to 'suit up',

Exactly like the guy I dated (except for the eventual diagnosis). His aspieness started to show when he got overwhelmed by several stressors from work, his family, and the "idea of a developping relationship". I can clearly recall occasions where I was the only witness and he "had his guard down" to "full blown aspieness" (while his mask has always been on with friends/ colleagues around).

QUOTE="Harrison54, post: 185917, member: 11377"] As Judge said, the majority of Joe Public have no idea of spectrum disorders.[/QUOTE]

Exactly. Before hearing/reading autistic adults talk about their lives, meeting other Aspies, I would have never known. (But I would have actually thought much worse of him because from an NT angle, his behavior seemed egocentric, uncaring, cold and even dishonest or mean on some occasions... or maybe I would have thought he had multiple personality because of the gap between the guy with the mask on and the guy without the mask... No offense intended to anyone, just trying to describe how an Aspie may be viewed by a clueless NT.)

 

[Leej07]

I get tired of wearing masks... I wear so many... Masks to hide my depression, masks to hide my true feelings. Nobody knows the real me, to be honest...

 

[AsheSkyler]

My fear is that I'm just a hypochondriac... That it's all in my head, that I'm fooling myself... I don't wanna be a fake... But I need to be honest with myself. I'm fooling myself, aren't I? I'm just a pretender. ADHD wasn't enough, I gotta have other stuff, too. *sigh* I'm sorry... These doubts overwhelm me... ;(

By this point, I think that should be part of the diagnostic process. There are a lot of Aspies even with an official diagnosis that still fear they are just an imposter.

 

[Leej07]

These fears are overwhelming, though. What if I am wrong? Short of getting a professional diagnosis, these doubts are driving me crazy. What do I do? I honestly feel crazy sometimes.

 

[Maddox]

I've been told over and over again that I appear odd or strange, but rather in the sense of a mild to moderate mental retardation. I have HFA and speech disorder that gets worse when I'm stressed, and on top of everything I'm hard of hearing.
Furthermore, I don't act particularly adult. If I want to wear my cartoon character Tees or base hats I do exactly what I want, fashion or style don't interest me in the least. Then, I don't leave the house without my fiddle toys and I don't oppress my impulse to be rocking and flapping hands.
Of course I also zone out a lot, so all in all who bothers to watch me will most likely conclude that there is something not normal, but I doubt that they'd necessarily think of an ASD in this respect.
I never tried to fake normal or wear a mask, like some of the other posters described it. I can only be myself.

 

[JMcCauley]

It has never been "obvious," even to me, that I have Asperger's. I grew up the weird kid in my group of friends, uncoordinated, over-articulate, slightly obsessive, but then I became very normal. I was popular in high school, excelled at sports, made friends and stupid decisions, just like every other kid my age.

However, I am particular about food, I write like a drunken chicken, I obsess and memorise and categorise and organise, I talk about myself or whatever I'm interested in for hours with a general disregard for outside input. I need people to tell me they are my friend, or girlfriend, etc., I hate disingenuous behaviour, I value honesty and bluntness.

So, it's not about the way others see you, whether it be your physical appearance or the way you act when you are trying to be social. As far as I understand, it's the fact that that IS an act, to some extent, and that you don't exactly feel normal being normal. I know I don't.

 

[invisible]

I can't believe that there's actually someone else who uses the term "Aspergic"!

 

[aspiegirl]

Ok so a lot of people don't believe that I have Asperger's if I tell them even though I have been officially diagnosed and I am not even a moderate case! Female aspires are very good at mimicking other people and masking there Asperger's which is what I have done from a very young age. People generally think that I am very social, confident and 'the life of the party' but that is just the way I portray myself even to my friends. However if you asked my family they would have no doubt about my Asperger's and my diagnosis meant that my actions at home were better explained to them so we became a closer family. So know I am not obviously aspergic to the majority of people even my extended family- the only people who actually agreed and accepted my diagnosis was my mum, 2 brothers and stepdad.
Aspiegirl