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Is it normal for people with autism not to care about many things or anyone?

R

Ruby

Well-Known Member
I have autism and I typically don't care about many things or anyone. Is this an autistic trait or is it just me? Is it normal for people with autism to be selfish or is it just me? I also don't have strong feelings for many things.

I generally find things and people okay or I like it, but very rarely love or dislike people. I don't usually love or dislike things either. I don't usually care about things or people either. It is therefore harder to make decisions if I don't care. Is it normal for people with autism not to have strong feelings for people or lots of things?

Even if I don't have strong feelings for things or people, I do get sad a lot. I also see myself as being sensitive.
 
Not at that level to not love anyone but I'm so too, and sometimes don't care about anything (this may be an advantage in some situations though). I also don't hate anyone.
 
There is now a lot of confusion over aspergers and the so-called "lack of empathy" we have. I recall a very sad incident once just after my grandmother died and my family were taking stuff out of the house where she lived. i was upstairs and turned on my C.D. player and the music was kind of loud and very animated. Well, it was really a dumb thing to do as it showed a total lack of sensitivity to the existing situation - that a family member had died. It's just that somehow I didn't perceive the situation that way or pick up on what is normally "correct" or "normal" under such circumstances. And now I'm very aware that sort of misunderstanding isn't what you might call normal and have become far more aware.
I should emphasise, though, that I did love my grandmother and remember her very warmly now she's gone. I also believe what happens with aspies is we often are so deeply emerged within out thoughts, we somehow become less aware of surroundings and appear not to care. In fact we can love and show empathy but we sometimes do it in an awkard, disjointed way. I can recall many times I've helped people who are in distress or rescued injured animals.


Ruby said:
I have autism and I typically don't care about many things or anyone. Is this an autistic trait or is it just me? Is it normal for people with autism to be selfish or is it just me? I also don't have strong feelings for many things.

I generally find things and people okay or I like it, but very rarely love or dislike people. I don't usually love or dislike things either. I don't usually care about things or people either. It is therefore harder to make decisions if I don't care. Is it normal for people with autism not to have strong feelings for people or lots of things?

Even if I don't have strong feelings for things or people, I do get sad a lot. I also see myself as being sensitive.
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I'm not sure I wholly agree with not-caring about anything/anyone for autism.

I've found that I do care very much about many things- but they're very selective, and some would say unusual.

I'd argue that what we care about is instead not of the mainstream- not what "normal" people would care about- but of course that in itself would vary among Aspies. In work I care very much about some rules but completely roll my eyes at others. At home I care very much about being organized with some things, buying certain products, etc, but could care less about others. I suppose that would be normal, but it's very rigid- and it really bothers me to the point of panic and anger when they are ignored. It's similar with people- I care very much about a handful of people, but completely flake out with others.

If there's any common thread, it's just very specific. Honestly although the list is huge, I really couldn't find a common link to all of it- it's just what feels "correct" to me. Maybe I'm the exception, I do care loads about many things- but maybe they aren't what people would hope or expect me to care about.

In fact, if anything were the problem- it would be caring too much about said things.
 
I agree with Kas. I think we do care about things but we express it sometimes in a way that the rest of the world doesn't consider normal. I tend to be overly sensetive but often people find me either way over the top or not showing any emotion until later. I have been told by my ex-friends that I often would appear not upset but it would be news to them when I finally was like I'm pissed and they wouldn't understand that I couldn't express it at the time or I wasn't aware how upset I was at the time. SO I really don't think it is a lack of caring I think its showing it in different manner. I care deeply and pasionately about a few things and those few things I would do anything for. So I think that is more the context.
 
What I wonder about the thread mostly is; how many is many?

I have narrow interests, relatively speaking, but some people told me that I'm into way more stuff than then... and they're so called "normal" people. And I'm into a lot more stuff way deeper than a lot of people. Looking to my parents for example, I'm culturally and intellectually enhanced, it's off the charts.

And I should add that "being into stuff" is the same as caring for it I guess, just to get that definition clear.

As for "anyone"... that applies to me, but I don't know if that's an autism exclusive thing or so. I'm not that much of a people person and my affection towards even people I'm close to is nowhere the level most people (again, judging what I see at other people) are like.
 
Not exactly sure what you are saying...."don't care about many things"? likke some people in general arn't materialistc people at all...... is it like that?..... u don't care what kind of clothes u wear,,,, what type of furniture you have?...... what u do with your time?........ what u eat? ........ things like that?
 
I don't care that much about what clothes I wear as long as it's comfy. I don't like shorts though. When I shop for clothes with my mum, I usually don't care whether or not she gets me a particular clothing. I don't care what furniture I have, because it's up to my mum and I can choose my own furniture if I get my own house. I kind of do care what I do with my time, but not that much. I don't really care what I eat as long as it's not disgusting and as long as I like it.
 
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i beleive my son and I both have asperger's. I do care about a lot of things and he dosn't .... So?? I don't know
 
I don't care about many things meaning that other people care about hundreds of things while I care about several. I don't care about things and people that others care about. I'm not interested or into many things like other people are. I'm only into two television shows for instance while others are into 30 to 100.
 
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