Hi all! I came across this site looking for answers regarding my very strange,eccentric father. He displays many/ all sogns of being an Aspie.
Some background:
I am 29 & grew up in a "normal" middle class suburb, 2 parents (who later divorced when I was 17) and 3 siblings. my childhood had it's ups and downs like many, but it became apparent to me once I hit middle school that my dad was very very different. He had a good job, but traveled a lot. He is of normal intelligence and has had 2 steady careers throughout his 35+ years out of college. He is very aloof, has a lot of strange routines and is just in his own little world at any social gathering. He has a group of friends (he sees maybe a few times a year).
OBSESSIVE INTREST IN SPORTS/CAMPING AT SAME PLACE
The only quality time we spent together was going to a baseball game (which included a 'fun' filled 3 hour early arrival and stalking baseball players for autographs),a weekly visit to his parents an hour away, and a yearly camping 'vacation' to the same place. Few and far between are a concert, circuses, county fairs and amusement parks. The only "real" vacation we had growing up was going to baseball spring training, and going to the ocean for a day. My mom always wanted to do a more family oriented vacation but his 2 weeks vacation were all about him. Spring Training and taking us Camping with his buddies and their kids. My life with him revolved around his obsessive intrest in sports and the once a year camping extravaganza. Try a new place? I have suggested it to him before and will never again after the speech I got so he favors routine greatly.
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UNAWARE/INDIFFERENT TO SOCIAL PERCEPTION
his typical outfit includes his fave baseball/football/college teams in any combination usually including shorts and tube socks; even in the coldest weather. i cringe with regret at "allowing" him to pick out his own outfit for my post wedding reception. Those pictures will haunt my memories and photo albumns for a lifetime...Him "dressing up" includes a collared sports logo button up, khaki shorts and tennis shoes, complete with ball cap...very embarrassing attire to be meeting your daughters new in laws lol.Has no care to 'fit in', and has mocked my gifts of nice button ups, by saying things like "ooo a nice box", before he gets to the contents.
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SELF CENTERED TO THE MAX
All eyes on him, it's all about him 24/7. Every disfunctional family get together is spotlighted by his loud, almost fake sounding know it all tone boasting self achievements and sports trivia. *
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INDIFFERENCE/LACK OF BEING TRULY ENGAGED IN HIS KIDS
Unless it was tailored to his interests, he lacked true connection to his kids.*I wasn't as gun-ho about his obsession as my sister Leslie or brother Alex, so my other sister Kristine and I were kind of an afterthought.He is still to this day obvious to my disinterest in sports. All my life I have been artistic, which always took a back seat to the constant sports obsession. He ever noticed enough to really encourage that in me. Instead of a thoughtful christmas/birthday gift leaning towards my art interests, it was usually an autographed baseball or something of the nature. *I went on to successfully pursue an art degree, and to tell you the truth bet my dad couldn't even tell you that my degree is in Interior Design. He also seems oblivious to the fact that I have never displayed any of his sports gifts anywhere I have ever lived.
UNEXPLAINED ODDITIES
Christmas gifts wrapped oddly in newspaper or brown paper bags that are a shamefully inappropriate. But he thinks it's normal. we are talking a free oil change coupon that was expired for my brother in law, and a random blue firetruck for my husband because he "likes trucks". (apparently that was his interpretaion of my husbands small collection of vintage model cars in his office.) My wedding gift from him? an un framed matted color copy of a beach scene with our names/wedding date in his friend's daughter's exceptionally neat handwriting.... *
-He also lacks empathy and cannot relate or dosent know how to react to difficult situations.*
-he will pretend cry/sniffle whenever we part ways but the rare display of true emotions have only been observed from him being angry bc a sports team lost or happy bc they won.*
-always seems to be"checking it off the list" when it comes to family visits. Has even referred to his weekly calls to me as "clocking in".
-when my husband and I had a destination wedding that he didn't attend he asked me for the address of the resort. I was surprised bc it wasn't like him to just show up or send anything, but I guess I was secretly hoping....It was bittersweet when I learned he gathered this info for his thoughtful brother & wife so they could send us a gift on our honeymoon. I don't even think he was aware of how an action like that would likely be perceived.
So I have basically gathered through the years that he has good intentions but dosent know how to implement them in a socially acceptable manor. this is just the way he is, and he is my dad and I love him no matter what. There is no way I could ever imply to him that he has something "wrong" with him. He wouldn't get it. So I guess for mine and my husbands own sanity, we are just curious as to if he could be an Aspie. Thanks
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Some background:
I am 29 & grew up in a "normal" middle class suburb, 2 parents (who later divorced when I was 17) and 3 siblings. my childhood had it's ups and downs like many, but it became apparent to me once I hit middle school that my dad was very very different. He had a good job, but traveled a lot. He is of normal intelligence and has had 2 steady careers throughout his 35+ years out of college. He is very aloof, has a lot of strange routines and is just in his own little world at any social gathering. He has a group of friends (he sees maybe a few times a year).
OBSESSIVE INTREST IN SPORTS/CAMPING AT SAME PLACE
The only quality time we spent together was going to a baseball game (which included a 'fun' filled 3 hour early arrival and stalking baseball players for autographs),a weekly visit to his parents an hour away, and a yearly camping 'vacation' to the same place. Few and far between are a concert, circuses, county fairs and amusement parks. The only "real" vacation we had growing up was going to baseball spring training, and going to the ocean for a day. My mom always wanted to do a more family oriented vacation but his 2 weeks vacation were all about him. Spring Training and taking us Camping with his buddies and their kids. My life with him revolved around his obsessive intrest in sports and the once a year camping extravaganza. Try a new place? I have suggested it to him before and will never again after the speech I got so he favors routine greatly.
*
UNAWARE/INDIFFERENT TO SOCIAL PERCEPTION
his typical outfit includes his fave baseball/football/college teams in any combination usually including shorts and tube socks; even in the coldest weather. i cringe with regret at "allowing" him to pick out his own outfit for my post wedding reception. Those pictures will haunt my memories and photo albumns for a lifetime...Him "dressing up" includes a collared sports logo button up, khaki shorts and tennis shoes, complete with ball cap...very embarrassing attire to be meeting your daughters new in laws lol.Has no care to 'fit in', and has mocked my gifts of nice button ups, by saying things like "ooo a nice box", before he gets to the contents.
*
SELF CENTERED TO THE MAX
All eyes on him, it's all about him 24/7. Every disfunctional family get together is spotlighted by his loud, almost fake sounding know it all tone boasting self achievements and sports trivia. *
* *
INDIFFERENCE/LACK OF BEING TRULY ENGAGED IN HIS KIDS
Unless it was tailored to his interests, he lacked true connection to his kids.*I wasn't as gun-ho about his obsession as my sister Leslie or brother Alex, so my other sister Kristine and I were kind of an afterthought.He is still to this day obvious to my disinterest in sports. All my life I have been artistic, which always took a back seat to the constant sports obsession. He ever noticed enough to really encourage that in me. Instead of a thoughtful christmas/birthday gift leaning towards my art interests, it was usually an autographed baseball or something of the nature. *I went on to successfully pursue an art degree, and to tell you the truth bet my dad couldn't even tell you that my degree is in Interior Design. He also seems oblivious to the fact that I have never displayed any of his sports gifts anywhere I have ever lived.
UNEXPLAINED ODDITIES
Christmas gifts wrapped oddly in newspaper or brown paper bags that are a shamefully inappropriate. But he thinks it's normal. we are talking a free oil change coupon that was expired for my brother in law, and a random blue firetruck for my husband because he "likes trucks". (apparently that was his interpretaion of my husbands small collection of vintage model cars in his office.) My wedding gift from him? an un framed matted color copy of a beach scene with our names/wedding date in his friend's daughter's exceptionally neat handwriting.... *
-He also lacks empathy and cannot relate or dosent know how to react to difficult situations.*
-he will pretend cry/sniffle whenever we part ways but the rare display of true emotions have only been observed from him being angry bc a sports team lost or happy bc they won.*
-always seems to be"checking it off the list" when it comes to family visits. Has even referred to his weekly calls to me as "clocking in".
-when my husband and I had a destination wedding that he didn't attend he asked me for the address of the resort. I was surprised bc it wasn't like him to just show up or send anything, but I guess I was secretly hoping....It was bittersweet when I learned he gathered this info for his thoughtful brother & wife so they could send us a gift on our honeymoon. I don't even think he was aware of how an action like that would likely be perceived.
So I have basically gathered through the years that he has good intentions but dosent know how to implement them in a socially acceptable manor. this is just the way he is, and he is my dad and I love him no matter what. There is no way I could ever imply to him that he has something "wrong" with him. He wouldn't get it. So I guess for mine and my husbands own sanity, we are just curious as to if he could be an Aspie. Thanks
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