How to organize(and deal with) a reunion with my brother.

[Iamnotarabot]

Hello, so. One of my objectives at the moment is to see my brother that left the family 16 years ago , I haven't seen him since that time.

But recently I got his number and I texted him a little, nothing exceptionnal.

I plan on seeing him again but he is far from where I leave and he as his own family now ( 10years older than me)

Do you think it's even a good idea to try to see him again? I may have a possibility in 3 weeks but I uess this is up to my ability to organise myself and do what I have to do prior to that in time, in addition I have to contact him and ask if he is ok with this , and ofc I have no car so It would be by train.

Should I wait?

 

[Otenba]

After you have approached him about it and you are both definitely interested in meeting again, then I'd say work with him to make plans. He may even try to help you get there. If not, then you're both probably best to stick to messaging as you have been for now so you both can build a relationship back up to a point where meeting would be comfortable. Whatever happens, I wish you both the best with your efforts.

 

[Peter Morrison]

Many people say that it is beneficial to see someone again after being estranged for a long time. It brings closure to pain and it can clarify issues that have been left to wander aimlessly in your mind. My personal belief is that families allow anger over something to cause them to depart, leaving holes in many hearts. If you want to see your brother, then do so. Don't go with expectations or demands. He is your brother, and that alone should serve to prompt an interest in remaining in contact. My view of your situation comes from believing in the sanctity of family. Not everyone would agree with me. I know of some family situations where a sibling or spouse is better off away from everyone. I see it as sad, but in one way better for all concerned. I think most people would see this dilemma as you reaching out. This is a noble gesture in itself. If you never meet him again, you'll always wonder about him. This could be a good chance for you to acknowledge one another as brothers again. If you don't have expectations, you can't be disappointed.

 

[TempeFan]

This is a noble gesture in itself. If you never meet him again, you'll always wonder about him. This could be a good chance for you to acknowledge one another as brothers again. If you don't have expectations, you can't be disappointed.

IMO, if it's something you really want to do, then you shouldn't wait. Do it now that you have the chance, especially if the alternative is that you will kick yourself later for not going.

My parents dumped me in the state system at birth, so for all I know, I could have a brother or sister or even a twin out there. If I had the chance, I would like to meet a member of the family that abandoned me, if only to get a little closure on why. If that family member were willing to have a good relationship with me, then great! If not, then I'd know I wasn't missing anything.