I Find when im close to burn out, i persue my projects. For a while a central one has been creating a decent chess teaching platform and computer opponent application in java. I find the problem solving sort of recharges me. But i really struggle to do anything else. I can get lost in it for days and just not realise and often neglect other important thing. Im doing a degree from home and just starting a new module. Ive just lost a job and im quite low as a result. I am circling shutting down. I have had insomnia and have been struggling to shut off especially because my tablets arent working, just got a new prescription an waiting on it. But when i do sleep im sleeping a lot longer than i usually would which tends to be a sign i look out for. I will have bursts of productivity where i wake up with some fight then i take full advantage of it and do all the things that ive been neglecting. At the moment this comes in the form of sorting out a disability benefit application. My new module, looking for a job. As well as caring for myself. I cram so much in and end up 10 times worse after and its a feedback loop. What i need is to not shut down for days at a time. Im kind of obsessively drawn to my projects because i know the alternative is to replace that time with not being able to get out of bed, face people or care for myself, potentially for months if its bad. I've never known anything else i work through it. And i may not shut down if i do that, but it is as destructive to my life as shutting down is so whats the difference? I mean thinking about it i get sporadic blocks of productivity and i can manage basic care if i do work through them how i always have, but its still a major change in pace which i can't really afford right now. Is this the best i can hope for? Does anyone have any strategies that would help with this?
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