GRIEF Support

[Sparticus]

Has anyone died close to you died recently? Is there someone you can't forget? Do you suffer from losing someone?
Here is the place to talk about it.

 

[Sparticus]

11 years ago I lost a few people including my middle brother. I've never gotten over losing my brother. He was 1 year older than me, a motorcycle riding, mechanic, outgoing NT corny humor type. We grew up close and in many ways, he was like a father to me. When he died the lights in my Universe went out. They just came back on a few years ago. Still I miss him very much. He always had a plan.

How about you? Moderators I'm not sure if I posted this in the right place.

 

[Arashi222]

I lost my friend Tiffy 6rys ago on decemeber 9th 2007 due to mass shooting at Ywam in colorado. I loved her dearly. She was one of those people that lights the world with just a smile and a hug. Or just a short email of I love you. People say you get over it losing someone like that. They say time heals all wounds which honestly isn't true it just means time moves forward without them.

 

[Warwick C]

What a good Idea Sparticus for this thread. May it be a giving and recieving thread for those who have lost some one.

A big hug to those who need one at the moment.

 

[MoCoffee]

This is a wonderful idea for a thread. I have lost some wonderful people, both friends and family, and I still miss them and think of them often.

 

[Judge]

I feel for anyone going through any kind of grieving process. Particularly at this time of year.

For me it follows me like my depression. A cloud over my head that never really goes away.

 

[Sparticus]

I wish I could have words of wisdom for you. I'm sure there are grieving strategies for saying goodbye to someone. But like you I can't foget someone. Sounds like Tiffy was a fantastic human. If anyone has words of wisdom please share. Arashi she colored your world in a great way. I know that feeling. It gets better but still...oh well at least my brother is in my dreams. I hope she visits you in your dreams.

I lost my friend Tiffy 6rys ago on decemeber 9th 2007 due to mass shooting at Ywam in colorado. I loved her dearly. She was one of those people that lights the world with just a smile and a hug. Or just a short email of I love you. People say you get over it losing someone like that. They say time heals all wounds which honestly isn't true it just means time moves forward without them.

 

[Sparticus]

Thank you Warwick. Such fantastic wishes for this thread. May your words come true

What a good Idea Sparticus for this thread. May it be a giving and recieving thread for those who have lost some one.

A big hug to those who need one at the moment.

 

[Sparticus]

MoCoffee may you find some peace. I know it's not easy...especially when you lose so many. Sometimes I just want to cry.

This is a wonderful idea for a thread. I have lost some wonderful people, both friends and family, and I still miss them and think of them often.

 

[Sparticus]

Yes very true Judge-especially this time of year. Would you like to talk further about this? Sounds exactly like what I am going thru.
Often I wonder what my brother would say, what he would tell me about my present life. He always had advice. When I was lonely, he was there. When I went thru my divorce, he was there. Oh well...wishing you the best.

I feel for anyone going through any kind of grieving process. Particularly at this time of year.

For me it follows me like my depression. A cloud over my head that never really goes away.

 

[Sparticus]

What kinds of strategies do you use for grieving process? Several years after my brother died I went to a hospital grieving group. After that session was over the therapist leading it asked me NOT to attend the 2nd session as the people in my life who had died had died several years ago and "this group is for the recently bereaved." Thanks a lot pal.

I try to pay forward what my brother did for me. I've helped out a few men in my area who aren't as lucky as me. What about you?

 

[Arashi222]

I wish I could have words of wisdom for you. I'm sure there are grieving strategies for saying goodbye to someone. But like you I can't foget someone. Sounds like Tiffy was a fantastic human. If anyone has words of wisdom please share. Arashi she colored your world in a great way. I know that feeling. It gets better but still...oh well at least my brother is in my dreams. I hope she visits you in your dreams.

Sometimes I swear I hear her laughing and I turn around and I start looking for her. I swear she has to be there and then I remember. I Remember her not really being there at all...sometimes I think h feel her brush against my cheek...and whisper in my ear. I know that is just good wishing...but. I can't help it. I miss her. People have no idea what its like to loose someone to that kind of violence. Its horrible.

 

[Sparticus]

I know how you feel about feeling their presence. When I dream about my brother I wake up & then remember "he's dead." I wish if we had a ritual that helped us both remember them and let them go. I have't researched grieving in a long time.

I used to look for my brother in other men who looked like him. Then one day I found a guy who kinda looked like my brother, dressed like him and kinda thought like him. After I hung out with him for a short while I had to get away from him@ He reminded me so much of my brother + I was going thru panic attacks at the time. My brother committed suicide; how did Tiffy die?

If you don't want to say it's ok. Btw when I'm busy it's better. When I'm not busy or it's the holidays, I can feel lost.

Sometimes I swear I hear her laughing and I turn around and I start looking for her. I swear she has to be there and then I remember. I Remember her not really being there at all...sometimes I think h feel her brush against my cheek...and whisper in my ear. I know that is just good wishing...but. I can't help it. I miss her. People have no idea what its like to loose someone to that kind of violence. Its horrible.

 

[Arashi222]

I know how you feel about feeling their presence. When I dream about my brother I wake up & then remember "he's dead." I wish if we had a ritual that helped us both remember them and let them go. I have't researched grieving in a long time.

I used to look for my brother in other men who looked like him. Then one day I found a guy who kinda looked like my brother, dressed like him and kinda thought like him. After I hung out with him for a short while I had to get away from him@ He reminded me so much of my brother + I was going thru panic attacks at the time. My brother committed suicide; how did Tiffy die?

If you don't want to say it's ok. Btw when I'm busy it's better. When I'm not busy or it's the holidays, I can feel lost.

Tiffy died in shooting massacre in 2007. She was shot in the stomach and died at the hospital in colorado. I was not there. I never got to say goodbye. I remember waking up that day and feeling weird. LIke I woke up with a start and I was later told that she died the minute I had woken up. I just I miss her terribly. It never goes away. Its with me every second and its been 6yrs. Its been that long and I still get really bad during the holidays.

 

[Warwick C]

Arrashi just think of Tiffy lending you a guiding hand when you need it. May be your bond between you
two is that strong. That Tiffy is still helping you.

In my own case I have lost all my grand parents from both sides. My father died when I was in my teens. In someways I feel I have no family
left apart from my mother, I feel with my aunt that I am looked down apown. My younger brother is in a IHC unit (Intellectually Handicapped
Care) He may have a more savere form of autism.

 

[Judge]

Yes very true Judge-especially this time of year. Would you like to talk further about this? Sounds exactly like what I am going thru.
Often I wonder what my brother would say, what he would tell me about my present life. He always had advice. When I was lonely, he was there. When I went thru my divorce, he was there. Oh well...wishing you the best.

Thanks Sparticus. It's just a cross for me to bear. The holidays make it heavier for me. A similar story for so many of us....

 

[Sparticus]

[COLOR="#0000CD"][B]That's right, you already told me mass shooting. :-( Never having the chance to say goodbye is very painful. Wow you woke up with a start.
She died the minute you woke up...oh man.

Once I had a dream of this athletic guy in my hometown sparring with a Golden Gloves guy from my hometown. My oldest brother woke me up to tell me that the guy I was dreaming of died in an electrical accident. He was an electrician. I know, for me I think of my brother almost every day. Sometimes many times a day...he's with me a lot. Even now; always...one day we will see each other again I hope.

I'm not sure why I can't let him go. It's been 12 years. I want to say so many things, to ask him questions. To speak to him one more time. I never even knew he was my best friend till he died. We shared so much together that died when he died. The Holidays-same for me thought maybe it's a little easier. I just more lonely as if he could have taken away most of that feeling as he often did.

I hope you stay busy...when I'm not busy I can get into trouble even if that only means eating too much chocolate. My days of hanging on the street is over. Well mostly...this has been a very rough holiday season for me. I'm crying inside but not showing it. [/COLOR][/B]

Tiffy died in shooting massacre in 2007. She was shot in the stomach and died at the hospital in colorado. I was not there. I never got to say goodbye. I remember waking up that day and feeling weird. LIke I woke up with a start and I was later told that she died the minute I had woken up. I just I miss her terribly. It never goes away. Its with me every second and its been 6yrs. Its been that long and I still get really bad during the holidays.

 

[Sparticus]

[COLOR="#0000FF"]Sad to hear that Warwick especially about your dad when you were a teen and your younger brother. I can identify with you in not having much family. I have my son & my ex-girlfriend. Sometimes I think all I can do is volunteer; help out a few others & in a way that helps me out. But at least I can help improve someone's life even if it's just a hello or a phone call etc. [/COLOR]

Arrashi just think of Tiffy lending you a guiding hand when you need it. May be your bond between you
two is that strong. That Tiffy is still helping you.

In my own case I have lost all my grand parents from both sides. My father died when I was in my teens. In someways I feel I have no family
left apart from my mother, I feel with my aunt that I am looked down apown. My younger brother is in a IHC unit (Intellectually Handicapped
Care) He may have a more savere form of autism.

 

[Sparticus]

My pleasure Judge. Yup I know the feeling. Funny how sometimes I feel I'm all alone in my grieving. Not to make light of your situation. It feels like I'm living in some Twilight Zone episode...and not such a good one.

Thanks Sparticus. It's just a cross for me to bear. The holidays make it heavier for me. A similar story for so many of us....

 

[Sparticus]

Ok me eyes are starting to go blinkety blink...gonna take a break, watch part of a movie and either check back or more likely check back tomorrow. May everyone think good thoughts tonight. And hopefully we can touch our loved one's souls...and them ours.