Friend's Wedding

[Matthew Hendrickson]

Hi everyone,
I have a friend who's getting married in a couple months and he just asked me today if I'd be one of his Groomsmen. This is something I've only been asked once before by a friend, and that time I couldn't make it because of distance. I'm not one for being in front of crowds, especially when it's a lot of people I don't know. I get really anxious in front of a lot of people, even if the focus isn't on me. Does anyone have any hints on how to keep from having a major incident during the wedding? The last wedding where I was part of the wedding party was my sister's wedding, so at least I had a lot of family around, but here, all I have are friends, and only a few know I'm Autistic. Fortunately, 2 friends are also part of the wedding party, and another is the groom. In the coming months, I'm thinking of talking to the other groomsmen who know, and see if they can help me during the downtime to unwind so I don't get so overloaded I need to step out during a part of the reception where I need to be in there.

 

[Ereth]

I've only been to one wedding, and that was only as a guest among family. I think that talking to your fellow groomsmen is a good idea, though.

 

[Judge]

A groomsmen? Luckily all eyes will be on the bride and groom.

I just kept thinking that when I was a "best man" in a wedding.

And I sooooooo depise rituals. I did ok....you will too.

 

[Matthew Hendrickson]

I've lost count how many weddings I've been to, but at least most of them I was a guest, so I wasn't up front for most of them where the ceremony was taking place. I was my Aunt's Ring Bearer, a groomsman when my dad remarried, and a groomsman for my brother in law for both the Dominican, and the New York ceremony. I do have until May to tell the other groomsmen I know to help if I am overloading. They all know I can really get emotional if there's too much going on, and have seen me at my worst. I'm not sure yet how much time there is between the ceremony and the reception, but I think they are both at the same place, so probably not too long.

 

[wyverary]

I was supposed to go to a wedding this June, but I declined partly because I know the only thing I could do to prevent a meltdown would be to load myself with as much alcohol as my body could possibly take--which is a terrible idea for obvious reasons.

I think you should definitely talk to and familiarize yourself with your fellow groomsmen, for sure, and make sure you can all be comfortable around each other. If you do have to duck out from time to time, it will help to have people who understand your situation.

 

[Matthew Hendrickson]

I know the groom knows I have sensitivities with loud noises, but there's no guarantee at a wedding that the DJ, or band would ever play low enough for someone like me to handle the volume. Fortunately I do have ear plugs that unless your right next to me, you won't even notice I have them in. I'm definitely keeping those in my jacket just to be on the safe side. If I can keep my ears from overloading, I'll be much better able to handle what's going on around me, otherwise I could have a major meltdown.


Sent from my iPad using AspiesCentral.com

 

[MoCoffee]

You will probably not go right from the ceremony to the reception. All the weddings I've been involved with had pictures taken during that time and often the pictures are taken outdoors which would give you a bit of a break. I've also found that having someone in the wedding party watch for signs that you are getting too stressed might help. It's easier to leave the reception for a little while if there are two or more of you going than when it's just you....at least, that's how it is for me. After all, no one would complain if a groomsman went out for a cigarette break, so going out when you feel overwhelmed should be okay too.